Hi
I am new to this as this is only my second post. I have recently come to realise that i have to let go of my boy and let him make his own mistakes. There are too many arguements in my house about the general "teenage " behavour but I want to get respect back from my son and I am after help as to how.
My son and I were always very close when he was younger as hes dad worked away and it was just us. He is now working back home and he gets on better with him that I do. We fight like cat and dog because all I am trying to do is make him realise values. My husband has different views and ideas because of the way he was bought up. Money was no object and had most things and he is doing he same with his son. where I was bought up to respect things and people as money didnt grow on trees in our family. I had a simular relationship with my mum as we have but i don't want it to be the same, but I can feel its going that way :(
As I said I understand the teenage trates and I do struggle with them and it does always end up in arguements however it is now starting to affect my 20 year old relationship!
I will give you an example: my son has played football since he was 7 and in mar last year he was very lucky to be scouted by a premiership club and signed him for a years contract. Unfortunately in aug he substained a bad groin injury and are still out of play and under their physio. When we joined there we were all told that the club monitor his schooling and that they would not tolerate any bad behavour and basically he would lose his position. So i have been on his case making sure he was doing everything right. We then have been recieveing phone calls from different teachers telling me he isnt completeing his work and that he is pratting around in lession. This has been going on for so long and we then recieved a phone call from his year leader who speaks to the football club and said he has had to tell them about his behavour and that he wanted a meeting with us to explain what an opportunity this is for him etc etc....
He says he wants this opportunity but it seems like he has his head lost in his phone half the time and his head in the clouds and its really getting to me. I am constently going on at him to do his exercises they gave him.
I have done most things for him I want to walk away now and let him make his own mistakes but how can I sit back and watch him throw this one away :(
I want to also introduce pocket money so he understands the importance but his dad says he doesnt want him to have any. 
How is the boy ever going to be independant if he says can I have all the time??
I was told by my husband that I was pushing my boy away which has really upset me :( when all I want to do is help and guide him.
Can you please all give me some advise on which way to turn without it causing any more grief :)