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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

son suspended

9 replies

Sazzy32 · 07/02/2012 15:29

Hi
my son is in year 7 and today been suspended for hitting another boy.
It appears to have been a joke taken too far rather than hemeant to hurt him.
What do i do now?

Teacher told me he is mixing with a lad who is bad news, how do i stop that?

In genral my sons behaviour is not good at the moment, he appears to be cocky and full of himself

Please please help with some suggestions!

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 07/02/2012 19:12

How long is he suspended for?

Was the person he hit a friend?

I would be looking at a very harsh telling off and also looking at whether this so called joke was in fact bullying.

How is he spending his time while suspended? I would be looking at some decidedly uncocky activities and jobs:

  • a written profound apology to his victim (this doesnt necessarily have to be sent if that isnt appropriate)
  • several domestic chores (toilet cleaning is good for the soul as is cleaning the cupboard under the sink)
Original poster
Sazzy32 · 08/02/2012 11:05

HI

Thanks for repyling.

He has one day exclusion and he he is currenly sat in my office at work with me doing homework.

I have taken laptop and xbox off him until further notice and next week he will be spending half term working in his dads garden

The boy he hit was a friend and the teachers seem to think they were messing around anyway he just took it too far, but i think i am taking this as an chance to come down hard and buck his ideas up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sazzy32 · 08/02/2012 11:06

oh and toilet cleaning is a fab idea, we have 2 that might now need doing tonight!!

OP posts:
mojitomania · 08/02/2012 12:40

OP my son started mixing with a bit of a bad apple in year seven. In the end I banned him from seeing him anywhere other than at school.

Year 7 is a horrid time, they're flexing their muscles quite a bit. All should settle down soon.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 08/02/2012 12:53

Oh please not toilet

The first year at secondary school is really tough. When you say he's cocky, is it possible he's feeling detached from his old comfortable friends from primary school and is unsure where he fits in any more and who his friends are? Perhaps he's feeling a bit friendless and uncertain but he doesn't have the emotional language to sort it out for himself.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 08/02/2012 12:54

Oh please not toilet cleaning.

The first year at secondary school is really tough. When you say he's cocky, is it possible he's feeling detached from his old comfortable friends from primary school and is unsure where he fits in any more and who his friends are? Perhaps he's feeling a bit friendless and uncertain but he doesn't have the emotional language to sort it out for himself.

ps this is in teenagers section and he's only in yr 7.

Original poster
Sazzy32 · 08/02/2012 13:31

I hadn't thought about it like that, so will have a chat with him too.
Tbh he seems to be very popular but def is seen as the joker, a role he hams up alot too!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sazzy32 · 08/02/2012 13:32

Mojitomania thanks, i have hope it will settle down. One in year 7 last year, one this year and another moving up in september!!

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 08/02/2012 17:25

I dont see what is wrong with toilet cleaning as unless you employ a house elf it needs doing by someone. I have 3 DCs - years 7, 8, 11 so my responses are fairly robust when it comes to cockyness which hurts others and gets the culprit into big trouble. Secondary is when school gets serious and consequences get harder.

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