When you can't 'make it all better' for them...:(

[MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay]

Today sucked. Royally.

DD2 had a resit for her AS biology. She did badly last summer as she had 4 months of rotten Glandular fever. But she caught up last term.. worked her ass off and got A grade in the mocks. Then today she had the exam and it was awful.. all the stuff they have learned and gone over.. NOT in it. SHe could do the past papers with her eyes shut but everyone came out of the exam today shellshocked. She is devastated and sobbing...and has another exam tomorrow which she is not as well prepared for as she has spent so much time on bio.

Then DD1 rang.. she's at Med school... flown through so far (2nd year) but battling eating disorder and life is hard. She fell apart in a competency today (practical exam) and failed. She gets one more shot at it..if she fails she will be OUT . Devastated and sobbing...

It just hurts so much when I can't fix it.. I can't make it better. They work so hard, both bright able girls and yet the last year they have suffered so much from stuff beyond their control..severe illness, anorexia, bulimia:(

I just want DD1 home from Uni..and well..and DD2 happy and less stressed. We have never put any pressure on them at all (DS1 is happily working in the local shop and never worries!)

It just hurts and sucks:(

Cory, how is having an eating disorder a decision, wise or unwise. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Thank you knittedslippers, they are and they do. As a happier update, dd2 felt the A2 biology paper that followed last week went as well as it could possibly have gone, so we are hoping that helps balance the awful one!

DD1 doesn't yet know when she resits the failed competency but in the meantime is working well, passed another competency and is finally having CBT though the Uni's support service (has been waiting a while)

Jasminerice, I really do not understand why you are so critical? I posted about a situation that was not in my control. My daughters' distress was neither a result of any aspect of my parenting not something asking advice about. I was simply sad because my children were having a horrible time.. and yes, in these circumstances I have never found MN anything BUT giving of support.

And I think you are the first person whom I have ever felt the need to even feel insulting towards... because your posts have neither been supportive, not helpful nor..well nothing really.

Obviously cory meant the decision to be at medical school which is what you were so critical of jasminerice

Like for knitted, for Medusa and for jasminerice

Until the op provided clarification, how was I to know her DD developed an eating disorder whilst at med school?

jasminerice Sun 29-Jan-12 20:36:01
"Cory, how is having an eating disorder a decision, wise or unwise. I have no idea what you're talking about."

You were criticising the OP for letting her dd go to medical school- which counts as a decision, surely?

I was just pointing out that if the OPs dd was old enough to go to medical school in the first place she will have been an adult, in which case this decision would not have been in the OPs hands.

OP, I know it's a bit pointless now, but fwiw, I am sorry for my posts on this thread. I had terrible pmt without realising it, and went a bit mad in general, in rl as well as MN. Sorry. Just ignore me.

Sorry I got side-tracked on this too.

Medusa, your dd needs to see people at the school, as Maryz says. If medical schools are like other universities, there will be a pastoral support officer (who can liaise with other staff and carries quite a bit of clout), there will be counselling and other support measures, and she should have her own tutor to fight her corner.