blo£%y MSN,do you limit it?

[brimfull]

dd spends too much time on msn imo.Basically ,she has a snack after school in the kitchen,we chat,about 15 mins.She then is upstairs either doing homework,most probably though most of the time she's on msn.
We always have dinner together.
She disappears upstairs after dinner and dishes.I know teens are obsessed with their peers at this age,but was wondering if setting a limit on time spent on msn was usual.

I also hate MSN, Bebo, Piczo, etc, as my eldest would be on it constantly if she could be. However, I would rather she was chatting on MSN than hanging round a bus stop with a can of cider and a packet of fags. I don't know which is worse - I suspect the fags. Why not have a bit of a family conference and say that you all want a bit more family time? It has to be worth doing though - so no good if you sit on the computer instead of her.

We have always tried to limit her time on the computer, but we have an extremely co-operative and (mostly) reasonable teenager (praise the lord!). May be my contribution isn't terribly helpful. Do you have a network within the house? Bad idea - we have only got one computer and it is in the office just off the kitchen. I can always see the screen and I know what she is up to. Her computer isn't on the internet.

am I the only one to think that there is something really wrong on in keeping such a tight rein on teenagers and not allowing them any privacy? My DSs are a bit older - 15 and 13 - and, yes, they are on msn for longer that I would choose them to be and, no doubt are having a few "sexual" conversations (well the older one will) but didn't you all do the same at that age. Think about the long phone conversations with boyfriends, the parties, the letters (very old fashioned!!) Just imagine how you would have felt if your parents were recording your every word? Teachers tell us now that teenagers are far more mature than we were. The Head of DS1s school said add 2 years's to their age and remember how you felt then and you will somewhere close to your child thoughts now. Scary!! I work with teenagers - a lovely crowd - and none of them are monitored like this. It can't be the norm .... Or can it? Open can of worms ......

MOTB, I agree. DH works in IT and came home a while ago with a trial version of software similar to the one Dino mentioned. We put it on (with me very doubtful about the moral aspect etc)and yes, some of the conversations were very near the knuckle and there was also a discussion about smoking marijuana and who you could get hold of it from at school (a boy in DS1's year)DH (who is DS1's step dad)was all for confronting him but I decided not to deal with it that way. We passed on what we knew to the school and I decided that was enough of the monitoring so we haven't signed up for the software. I'll never forget finding my mother reading my diary when I was 13 (haven't kept one since) and how it wiped out the little respect and trust I had for her. Maybe I'm naive but I have a good relationship with my sons - they both come to me with problems and talk it through and I wouldn't want to lose that.

I do remember the long telephone calls that I used to have - an hour or longer! The good thing about MSN is that it is free and I think I would rather she was engaged in chatting with friends than watching endless soaps on the telly. We have a webcam as well, so it is lovely to see some of her friends that have moved to New Zealand. She wouldn't be able to chat to them if she had to use the phone.

It is easy to criticise kids for being on the computer a lot, but I'm on the computer a lot too. My kids keep telling me to get off it!