dd has her first BF, but she doesnt seem to want us to meet him....

[ThatVikRinA22]

she came to me last week and told me that she has a bf as she didnt want me to find out on facebook....
so far so good.
she is 14, he is 15.
but omg she is making this such hard work! she went to his house on friday for tea and to meet his parents, but the mere suggestion of us doing the same sends her into fits of teenage sulking and moodiness....

i suggested he comes here for a meal - no
i suggested we all go out for a meal - no

she says he is nice, but honestly, is this normal?? we arent ogres, i dont think we are that embarrassing....

how long should i let this ride for before mentioning it again....should i just sit this one out and see if it lasts more than a few weeks?

God, yeah at it being normal, surely? I'd be impressed that she'd even told me.

Hi Vicar, yes, very normal. Don't expect to meet them until its a really serious one, then you will have them around all the time.

JUst chill and let DD enjoy this time

Oh yes, it's normal - and I think DD tells them porkies about how awfully mean we are too so the poor boys think that we are going to rip a shred off them when they do meet us, so they specifically avoid meeting us! We have only met one of them, and only because we drove right up to him when picking up DD and talked to him, much to the embarrassment of DD

ok then....i should just forget about meeting him then....the first BF lasted a week, she dumped him for "being too clingy" she has her head screwed on right....i trust her, but this just feels all weird!

You have to realise that, as parents, you are deeply embarrassing, whatever you do.
(I chat and that is called 'being nosy')

You are doing well she's told you.

Think I was engaged before I'd let my parents near anyone I ever dated.

I think it depends on the teen. I had friends who liked their parents meeting their boyfriends. I was like your DD. I was deeply embarrassed about everything at that age. I wouldn't take it personally.

well i guess i should be pleased she even told me then....

ive said i will wait until she wants to bring him home. (if!!)

I didn't take a boyfriend home or tell my parents about one til I was about 26. I did have the world's most embarrassing parents.....

I think you should take it easy. Being brought home to meet the parents, particularly for something as formal as a meal out, can seem a very momentous step to take: she may not want him to think that she has massive expectations on him and his being part of the family forever. It implies a commitment which neither of them may be ready to make.

Much better if he can just slink in and out like any friend of hers.

Did you bring all your boyfriends home to see your parents then? My parents never met any till now-DH, and we were pretty serious by the time he met them.

amuminscotland - mute point. My parents were shitbags and i left home at 15.

cory - of course you are absolutely right. i didnt even think about in terms of being a "big deal" but she might be, its enough that she told me i guess.

she is just hard work at the moment, full on teen hormones rampaging and i can hardly speak to her without it not resulting in an argument.

ill be glad to go back to work and im sure she will too....

Totally normal .... my DD is 14 and we have yet to meet her current BF. One actually knocked last year in the summer (it was really hot - remember that day? - and DD couldn't be arsed to go meet him to he came here) He seemed really normal but I was instructed not to talk to him!!! Yeah - cos that was always gonna happen in my house in my garden using my pool!!! :o

Perhaps that's why we haven't met anymore