Taming a Teenage Daughter in Love

[YogiEm]

Help help help! I have a 16 year old daughter that is taking her GCSE's in a few months. However she started going out with a boy in October, he seems nice, however her grades have dropped so much since she met him, she had been predicted B's and C's the last year but after her mocks its all D's and E's.

She's totally obsessed with the boyfriend and I'm at a loss what to do. She has told her sister she's moving out.

I don't want to stop her seeing him (by the way he's 18). But when I try and limit their time together she goes nuts and sulks and lies to me.

Its so hard trying to know the best thing to do.

Anyone got any ideas??

It is difficult. I started seeing my boyfriend at the beginning of year 10, when we started GCSEs. In terms of seeing each other, my parents were very lenient because my grades stayed good.
My boyfriend had grades which his mother wasn't very pleased with, so to ensure we'd be allowed to see each other as often as we do (3 - 4 nights a week) we started doing some revision together at the dining table, in between relaxing and so on.

Is the boyfriend doing A levels? Could you possibly have a quiet word with him about them doing a bit of revision together? Perhaps he could encourage her a bit. I'm sure he wants her to get good grades.
Limiting their time together too much will probably have a worse effect on her grades, so try to encourage her in terms of grades being important and see if you can get the boyfriend to help you.

Thanks Cinnamonnut thats great advise. He's at college doing a Public relations course. I don't want to stop them seeing each other. I mean you never know where this may lead, they might be happily married for 40+ years.

At the moment she see's him every night. I like your 3-4 nights a week. How does 3 nights a week and the weekend seem?

I don't want to ruin our relationship.

Thankfully my hubby is home this week for a few months, so I'll have some back up to help.

Even Bethan's brothers and sister are getting a bit fed up with her boyfriend here all the time xx

3 nights a week plus the weekend is plenty, I think.
Also, since they've only been together for 3 months or so, the uber-attachment stage might pass, and that'll help her keep her grades up.

Thanks. I'll keep you posted. The new thing is he now turns up at our doorstep at 8am. It was 8.30 to walk her to school, but its getting earlier and earlier. How do I nicely turn this back round to 8.30?

Hmm, not sure about that one to be honest. I'm surprised she's forfeiting an extra half an hour of sleep
You'll probably have to wait it out for this one.

Can you try and get the bf on side a bit? Presumably if he got in to college he already has his GCSEs- subtly remind him that your DD needs her chance to get the qualifications too. Can you offer her a reward for sticking to a deal ie if you can afford it , can you treat them to a night out once a month- even if its just a pizza somewhere or whatever their local favourite is- by which I mean give them the money to go/book them a table somewhere/buy cinema tickets etc?