DS, 14, has just quit football - sound silly but I'm so worried!

[chaos4kids]

My Ds has lived, breathed and played football since he was 5. He plays for a local team and recently seems to have lost confidence in his ability and often has a 'can't be bothered' attitude on the pitch.

This morning he has been up to the training ground and handed his kit in. Although we have often discussed him quitting football before its always been because he's thinking about trying something different. This time he doesn't seem interested in anything else except his bmx and the bike park.

I am devastated, as i always wanted my sons to play sports throughout their teens to stop the boredom setting in. I have tried to gently persuade him to continue or try a new sport but feel that i can't force him. My DH has always shared football as an interest with him but is now frustrated at his lack of interest.

Anyone been here before and has any advice to offer? I've told him we will not accept 'hanging around' all the time as an activity and I've suggested putting extra effort into school work (which he would massively benefit from at the mo!) but unsuprisingly that did not go down well.

Am I overreacting to be so worried about the situation?

Any advice would be sooo appreciated.

DS1 is 12, and currently plays for two teams, with matches or training 4 or 5 days a week. BUT I have noticed a slight waining in enthusiasm this year, coinciding with starting senior school, not just him, but his team-mates are starting to fall by the wayside. The hormones are starting to flow, and energies seem to be more directed at the social side of things, scootering, hanging out etc. I don't think DS1 will give up footy just yet, but I can see it happening sooner rather than later.

Let's face it, he has been playing since the age of 3, and I certainly have never kept a hobby going for 9 years without getting a bit bored.

Will I be sad if he gives up? A little, because I think exercise of some sort is important. But selfishly I think it will be nice to have the weekends back.

I have asked DS1 to at least see the season through and then decide if he wants to join up again in August Cointreau. Totally with you on the weekend thing.

Thanks for your post Mollers - I needed to hear these thoughts, they really help.
Feel so much calmer about it all now. Just glad I reacted on MN instead of in front of my DS! Knowing how competitive the footie world is, I can see why he might just want a change.

Sparkling, you will be well prepared if the day comes when your DS wants to quit.

DS has mentioned army cadets today so will be checking that out next week.
Time to enjoy some chilling out at the weekend and less smelly kits to wash!

xx

No muddy boots either chaos4,

Hope things work out fine for you all, I'm sure they will. It helps I think to try and put yourself in their shoes, not always easy I know (!), but I used to think would I want to come home from school and go out within the hour, 3 nights a week, plus weekend matches as my son did. It was very tiring and he was under a lot of pressure. He threatened to quit several times before he actually did it but at the end of the day, I think by the teen years they are starting to know their own mind and will come back to it if they want to.

Best of luck. x

My DS goes to Army Cadets, it is well worth looking into. On the positive front they are taught to look after their own kit including ironing!

Just another thought, is there any chance your DS has started smoking? I started smoking at a similar age despite being a very keen swimmer. The consequences were inevitable - I became less good at swimming and eventually dropped out.

Actually I found out that he'd tried smoking about six months ago, in front of an older lad - yet again - I was gutted! We initially flipped, then realised that was never going to help so we talked a lot about it and he is adamant that it was a one off. Although you can never be sure they are being truthful, I always try to greet him with a big hug when he comes in from being with his friends and grab a good whiff and sometimes have a quick check in his room. I am inclined to believe him but who knows? I also started smoking around this age so under no illusions about how sneaky teens can be.

I know he's reaching an age where he will come across these things and he thinks I am the most overprotective parent ever, but I'm trying so hard to strike the right balance between letting him have his freedom and keeping things in check.

Oh, and according to another mum, he can go along to our local cadet branch tomorrow night to see what he thinks - he's v keen. Will keep you posted.

chaos.I think with a mum so loving and caring as you, he'll be just fine