How can I help my daughter with her prom worries?

[JanieO123]

DD was all set to go to the prom with 3 friends and a couple of boys (ridiculously they have been talking about it for months). But one of the girls has hooked up with a boy and now my daughter has been told that she cant travel with them anymore. She's heartbroken and to cap it all it seems that the girls who have "dates" will now all go so someones house beforehand to have a pre prom party.

DD is devastated and cant seem to get over the rejection be her friends. GCSE's are taking place this week and she seems to have lost all focus. What can I do to help?

When's her prom Janie? I think my DS1's is in May. Plenty of time for your DD to get a "date". If it's really soon, well what sort of friends are these girls? There must be other girls in her year who don't have dates. Can you not find out from DD who they are and then have a little get together beforehand for all "dateless" girls and maybe all the parents club together to make sure that they may arrive "dateless" but they arrive in style :)

That's great idea, I will suggest it when she's a little less raw. Her prom isn't until late June so there's plenty of time, it's getting her to realise that and understand that things aren't cast in stone. However, all the talk about it at school is getting her down. There seems to be so mush emphasis and hype about it.

My DS hasn't got a date for his prom yet (there's still time and I don't think he's that worried tbh).

Mention to DD tonight that you've had an idea (arriving all girls together) and emphasize that she could even had a date by then but say that if no date around by May that you will arrange something for a group of just girls (could be they all go to get their nails done together or something and then get ready at yours).

It's a special time for teens just bloody really glad that proms weren't around in my day

I love the Dateless Girls Club idea - that would be great. But so much can happen between now and June - the "friends" may well split up with the boyfriends, your DD could find someone to ask or be asked by.

If she's already stressed by exams etc then she's bound to over-react a bit to stuff like this - it's such a fraught year for them, isn't it? So much going on.

The girls getting ready together is a great idea.

MaryZ this is exactly how my dd is feeling this situation is nearly identical! The girls really feel the pressure and feel like a bit of a failure if they are not part of a group - especially one with dates! I fear that too many US drama/romance have given an unrealistic expectation of the evening.

Bless her. I know it seems like such a dozy thing to worry about, but I remember the obsession of proms when I was at school, it really is all consuming.

her friends sound like ratbags. Mind you, likelihood is that there will be a falling out of sorts before June, so all plans are very likely to change.

I never had a boyfriend or date, so asked one of my pals if he wanted to go to the prom with me, but not as a date, but just so we didn't feel like chumps alongside all the couples. See if dd has a male friend she could ask.

Or the dateless girls thing is a great idea. Say you can host a pre-party at yours, say you will get nibbles etc and they can all get ready and shriek. I am hosting a pre-party for dd (she has a boyfriend, but he is older and at a different school, so dd has arranged with all her mates who do not have dates to come to ours). I have been roped in to help with the hair and makeup (they just want to use all my expensive stuff, the gits).

Not quite the same , but DS went to the 6th form Ball , before Christmas , a black tie do , his group of friends got ready together . Just boys , so I assume the girls did the same .
Then they went from school in 2 coaches off to the venue .
As a previous poster said , teenage boy/girl friend relationships don't last long . help get her to organise an all girls together pamper / beautify session that afternoon

GOML I am coming round to yours to get ready to go out with DH tonight just to use your expensive stuff!! :o

I will bring /

If only coaches were an option then everyone could be included. There is a high expectation of limousines, fire engines, etc. Its very over the top which is a shame, it should be much more low key. I remember a disco in the school gym!!

at totallylala.

I am really looking forward to the prom stuff. DD is not at all a girly girl, rather the opposite in fact, but her friends are lovely and when they have all stayed her mob-handed before I have really enjoyed it.

I am HIDING all the perfume

I am so glad there was no such thing as proms when I was at school.
I would have been the girl like Carrie, without the power.

Thank goodness I have boys. I know there is a prom but it hasn't featured on DS's radar. He broke up with his GF at Christmas but the prospect of no prom partner hasn't been mentioned.

It is a lot easier for boys. DS finally got around to emailing a girl who's just a friend about 4 days before the prom but she was going with her girlfriends, and he ended up just going with a male friend. Most of his year went in all male or all female groups, with just a few couples.

The people your dd knows who are all in couples now, OP, will be unlikely to be still together in 5 months time.