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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

my daughter has started her periods today

42 replies

triplets · 08/01/2012 15:12

Hi, I feel so strange about this............she was quite shocked and cried bless her. She is 14 at the end of the month. She came and told me immediately which is lovely, because when I started mine I never ever told my mum, I had 4 brothers and they all laughed at such things. It was a horrible time in my life and I was determined that if ever I had a daughter she would not have to go through what I did. My periods stopped in June 98 at he ripe old age of 46, 6 months after my triplets were born.I am not sure as to whether or not I should tell her brothers? I dont want them making fun so I think I wont for now. Any advice would be welcome as its a long time ago I went through this myself. At what stage did you let your dd use tampons? She is already worrying about swimming etc. Thank you.

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Original poster

triplets · 09/01/2012 23:04

Ciderwithbuda...............its such a lovely name, he is Matthew David. When I knew I was pregnant with triplets we never wanted to find out the sex, just wanted them, wanted them to be born healthy. We started choosing names, and both decided we would like Matthew as a second name if we had a little boy. Alot of our friends and family I know thought that was wrong. I has a c section at 32 weeks as baby number 3 has slowed down in growth and I was scared something was going to happen. So the next morning they were delivered, first out was a little much wanted girl, Rebecca Anne, second a boy Thomas Matthew and third another tiny tiny boy, James Alexander.They weighed 4lb.3oz, 4.7oz and 2.15oz! So the first born boy was Thomas Matthew, and he is the image of his big brother, everyone saw it the moment he was born. Mind you he does not have Matthews nature, he is very bossy! What makes it more amazing is that they are from donated eggs, all quite a miracle really. Had James been number 2 he would have been named Thomas Matthew but would have not looked abit like him as he has brown eyes and hair................but he has his nature!!

Just realized I have now told you all my life story, started off with periods! It nice to get the chance though to type Matthews name xx

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soda1234 · 10/01/2012 00:21

Triplets, I hadn't heard your story before, and I'm so sorry to hear about Matthew.

Our twins were born after our third IVF attempt, a son and a daughter. They were delivered at 31 wks, weighing 3.1lbs and 3lbs as I had pre-eclampsia. We spent 6 wks in special care.
I'm amazed at how big your babies were at 32 wks.
I posted earlier on this thread about practical things to help Rebecca (KY jelly), but I also wanted to say something about the "brother" thing.

Ds was told that his sister had started her periods, I told him as I expected a little tolerance as she was pretty stressed/moody. He has never been remotely embarassed about it, he's really used to seeing sanitary towels/tampons about their bathroom. He is a better predictor than me about when she is due.

At 14 they will probably be getting their 1st boyfriends/girlfriends soon, I'm trying to encourage a bit more of the empathy and a bit less of the mystery about relationships. Girls are people too!

Your boys are of an age to understand, they really shouldn't tease her about this. If they do tell her that their first shave isn't far away, and then she'll have loads of ammo.

CiderwithBuda · 10/01/2012 09:17

triplets thanks for sharing your story. I knew a little from previous threads.

My Matthew is also an IVF baby. Three embryos were implanted but only he stuck.

Isn't it amazing how your Thomas Matthew is so like Matthew? Life does work in mysterious ways. My nana would have said that Matthew sent him to you. Along with your 'extra' two to keep you on your toes!

It's interesting what you say about using the name. When I was 4 my mum had a baby girl who died shortly after birth as a result of rubella. Her name was Lisa. My mum always wanted a 'Lisa' and although she had another two girls she didn't reuse the name. But then she had a surprise baby girl after a big gap and decided she wanted to call her Lisa which she did. It wasn't a great idea. I think as a second name it would have been fine but it did leave my youngest sister feeling very mixed up about it all.

Original poster

triplets · 10/01/2012 15:26

Nice to hear your stories too, I love the idea of giving Rebecca ammo about shaving, made me smile:)

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Theas18 · 10/01/2012 16:08

Triplets. Thank you so much for sharing your previous boy with us. He'll always be and emptiness in the family but his younger siblings will grow up knowing and remembering him.

PreHeatedOven · 10/01/2012 16:26

Triplets, you sound such a lovely mum!
I can't think of what else to say, thank you for sharing your story.
Hope your DD is ok, I wish my mum had been as supportive.

percysgirl · 10/01/2012 16:31

triplets :9 {{hugs}}

My daughter has just started hers at 14. We thought they were coming as she'd started having mood swings once a month and we kept a note of them in readiness - never thought i'd be that organised!!

She started on tampons straight away - only the slim ones (not sure what they're called but we never made any announcement to the rest of the family. If she gets particularly moody in a few months time and the DS's start, just tell them to leave her alone, she's on her period. That'll shut them up!!!! :o

Original poster

triplets · 10/01/2012 22:56

Thank you everyone.............I love having Matthews name on screen, hed look at me and say "oh Mum". He was just getting to the stage where hugs and kisses werent cool and you had to knock on his bedroom door........He always came home from school between 4pm and 4.05pm, he never went to the paper shop off the bus with the others, always came home. I would hear his key in the door followed by "hi mum, only me". It took me a very long time to stop listening for his key. Now its like the army arriving, banging gates on each other, throwing three bags on the floor, straight to the fridge for chocolate and charging up stairs to see who can get on the x-box first!! I get one hello out of three if I`m lucky!!

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shabbapinkfrog · 10/01/2012 22:59

Massive hugs my lovely friend xxx

Mrsfluff · 10/01/2012 23:13

Matthew sounds lovely Triplets.

My Dd started her periods not long after her 10th birthday. She took it all in her stride, whilst I felt terrible that she had to deal with it so young. Unfortunately they'very been both very heavy and very painful since day one

Original poster

triplets · 10/01/2012 23:29

MrsFluff, that is so young, did it make you feel different, I don`t mean about her but just that such a big thing had happened to her body when she is still really a little girl? I find it all scary, its all flying by too quickly. She seems ok about it all, she has had her best friend here for tea and I think she helps her alot.

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Mrsfluff · 10/01/2012 23:43

I felt she was growing up in ways I wasn't ready for - it was like her body was betraying her, especially when she suffered so badly with them. Overnight she went from Calpol, to learning how to swallow tablets. She had lots of Drs appt, which I know she found embarrassing.

Original poster

triplets · 10/01/2012 23:45

Oh bless her, its so hard for them isn`t it? She is terrified her brother are going to find out, which of course they will eventually. They love winding her up!!

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QOD · 10/01/2012 23:55

Sorry to hear about Matthew, how awful. I can't imagine how you coped. Your story does feel familiar, not sure if I have heardit on here or in press??
All babies are precious, how blessed were to have three more.

hattymattie · 11/01/2012 20:29

Hi my 2nd daughter 13 has just started. My first 15 started with towels and moved to tampons after 6 months. I gave her the choice - she seemed to prefer without applicator.

My son 9 is fully conversant with the ways of women as there is a drawful of paraphernalia in the bathroom plus my dirty eldest once left a tampon (albeit in its wrapper) on the side in the bathroom.

tiptoptally · 28/01/2012 03:32

aw, just had to read this thread as my best friends daughter started her periods today and we were just talking about it and reminiscing about when it was us.

So sorry to hear about your son Matthew. Have you ever contacted a charity called CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) - they can arrange screenings for your triplets, just to make doubly (or should that be tripley ;-) ) sure that their own hearts are 100% healthy?

Friendlymum67 · 28/01/2012 03:55

Triplets, I am SO sorry about your beloved DS. Just had to post (before I go back to bed!). Matthew sounds lovely. My son is 13 and tho he drives me mad at times, the thought of him not being around is unthinkable. You sound an amazing mum!!

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