DS über critical

[RoseWei]

DS, just 16, frequently critical, sharp, cold. Keeps me up night after night as he goes down to the computer and plays games for hours (this morning, DH spotted him at 5.30am playing away (though DS said he was watching wildlife videos - not true) ). Yes, we must disable the internet at night but we were so tired last night ... DH late shift.

Another difficult morning - DS is one moment quite pleasant, even loving but so often unpleasant and, as I say, very critical. Sometimes I feel that I can't do anything at all right in his eyes. He is particularly angry about my entrities to do some work for his upcoming GCSEs - and I am as encouraging and supportive as possible.

The obsession with games (computer/X box) doesn't help - in fact, it's very serious and DH and I are doing what we can about that. But on a purely personal level, the unpredictability of his responses to me and the not infrequent anger that he displays is very, very hurtful and often has me in tears (though never in front of him).

Any thoughts/ideas would be gratefully received. I'm so tired right now.

So what happened when DH saw him at 5.30am? What was the consequence?

Hi dp - He was sent to bed. He'd obviously eliminated his personal history on the computer. I must be more vigilant in future but he finds so many ways of getting what he wants - or thinks he wants. He rarely goes out - I do try - but I'm afraid he is fast becoming a grumpy recluse.

Presumably he has some GCSE modules coming up in january?

I think you need, together with your dh, to be firm about what is expected and acceptable. Eg, if he does one hour of revision at the kitchen table (so you know he's actually doing it), he gets 1.5 or 2 hours on the Xbox.

Ive been where you are now and we had to resort to removing the PS3 cable and only handing it back when he was allowed to go on it, after doing his chores (5 minutes a day hauling logs and wood into the house), and doing school work. The little b bought a new lead from Amazon .

So far as socialising is concerned, again, been there, got the t shirt. It's incredibly hard to force them to get in touch with people in the holidays if they don't want to, but eventually my ds got over his unsociable period by himself and now goes to a lot of parties & has a few very good friends and tons of acquantances. The more you try to force him to socialise the less likely he is to do it ime.

I found dh an invaluable weapon. Normally he leaves all the domestic/kid stuff for me to sort out but ds respects him a lot and so if I was really struggling I'd get dh to speak to him and that always worked. Your dh needs to be firm as well, and back you up.