Mixed sleepover / NYE party

[BastedTurkey]

We're having a NYE party that started off small but has since snowballed thanks DH

DD1 (13, Y9) asked if she could have some friends come to which I agreed. She goes to an all girls school so I assumed girls, alhtough I know they hang round with the boys from the boys school.

She's now announced that there will be boys and girls (fine)

and

they will all be staying over in her room (gut reaction - not fine).

However thinking about it there will be lots of other people crashing at ours and it sort of reminds me of student days so unlikely that they could get up to anything. Or am I being a bit naive?

Should add I work in a secondary school so not totally blind to what teens are like.

13 yr olds prob ok, I'd say 14 plus should be in separate rooms to "sleep", though.

Well if she's 'announced' it, rather than 'asked' I'd be telling her to naff off anyway tbh. Having said that, if it's a party with lots of adults too and if some of the adults are staying over as well, then I'm sure it would be fine with people just crashing anywhere.

Mumble she hangs round with an older crowd - 14/15 yo boys which makes me and DH feel a bit uncomfortable.

Remus, yes you are right she shouldn't have announced it but given that we have dementia ridden MIL here she has been very good and helpful so I am picking my battles atm.

Oh, that's different imo.

Separate boys and girls rooms if you don;t want any hanky panky going on. When ds was 13, we went as a family to some friends, and their dd who was 14 had a load of 14/15 yr old boys and girls and ds, bless his (then) little innocent socks was a bit shocked at the girls stripping off and the boys voting on their boobs, and there was another girl giving a boy a blowjob in the corner.

Thanks Mary I really appreciate people's opinions as DD1 is really pushing boundaries and friends seem to be a bit blasé about it as their DCs are much younger, so I think they are happy to watch and learn from me so to speak.

I will not be staying up all night to enforce separate rooms and whilst I won't be drinking lots, I will be having a glass of champagne or two so would not be driving.

I have the option of putting the boys downstairs in a room that is being refurbed so is very grotty (think plaster off walls), but after what you have said I am a bit unsure about that too.

Hmm I think I may be very unpopular with DD1 but so be it.

No not pfb, its our job as parents to protect. I was worried that I was being a bit too pfb by saying no.

I think I may have a cunning plan however. A frenemy of a friend who also lives in the village has angled for an invitation - her DS2 and his friends is part of DD1s social circle, so I am going to invite her through gritted teeth and suggest that the boys all stay at hers

Thanks Maryz I think I will have to cultivate a friendship with this woman for exactly those purposes [user emoticon]

The daughter of a friend went to a party where teenagers were staying over. Two 15 year old boys were found in bed with a 14 year old girl. Just don't put the teenagers (or yourself) in that position. Hope you manage to get another place for the boys to stay.

We are having a mixed sleepover early in Jan for dd's friends from theatre class. 5 girls and 2 boys.(all 15) We know them (and their parents) very well....they do one each term.

If you are liberal enough to allow teens to co sleep in the same room, then please remember to distribute/leave condoms with the sweeties, that way they can act responsibly.

How about a tent for the boys in the garden? assumption that you have one, I know, with a bucket and torch of course Doors locked. A warm welcome in the morning with some yummy breakfast.

That they are involved in preparing.