to start getting a bit worried about the cost of university, and to ask how much other people contribute to their children's living costs at university?

[Get0rf]

I know it is not an aibu but I can't really think what topic to put it in.

DD is 16 and in thinking about her university costs, I just wondered what other people contributed. Do people pay their rent and give them an allowance?

My mum paid my fees, which were at that time about £1300 a year. She also gave me £1000 a term, which just about covered my accommodation. I had a full student loan of £4000 per year and worked every Easter and Summer holiday, and also some Christmases.

I lived fairly well - could have survived on less if necessary but would then have struggled to go on holiday or socialise to the 'expected' level.

I was at uni (Oxford, hence certain expectations re social life etc.) from 2003-2007, by the way.

Martin Lewis has a summary of how the loans work

boldly sorry, really need to take issue with that.

You don't snapbangmagic! become an adult the second you turn 18. It's impressive that you have lived independently since that age, but realistically, most UK teenagers do not and their schooling certainly doesn't prepare them for that. They are learning to be adults and I think it's quite reasonable for parents to give a helping hand. I say this as someone who put herself through 2 degrees.

Also, it is a massive fallacy that if you're a medical student/ scientist, you are on some totally different planet as regards workload. They aren't. What happens with 'hard science' degrees is that they have lots and lots of scheduled practicals which mean that to do their work, they have to be at a certain place at a certain time. For arts degrees, which are reliant on lots of independent work and reading, that is not true, but that doesn't mean you get to doss about. Not if you're doing it right. For my undergrad degree (English) we had to write 2 x essays per week plus read approx 500-600 pages (thoroughly) and do background reading. Every week, every term. That is a serious workload.

But people who only look at contact time assume other degrees are a piss-take, accordingly sign up for lots of p/t work or extracurricular actitivities.... and then come out with crap degrees which do them no favours in a seriously competitive jobs market.

/rant over/

Also just like to say that imo university is about the experience. If you're living at home and working 20 hours per week, you might as well just get a full time job and not bother with studying. University is a fantastic opportunity to meet people, join societies, go to the theatre/opera/concerts very cheaply, and yes, get pissed with few consequences. I'd have had a shit time if I'd had to work during term time: in fact, I had a Saturday job for one term and I hated it, it spoiled my experience of that term.

I agree with working during term. I went to Oxbridge too, and frankly you could not really work more than a few hours a week during term (unless you did library shifts at night, that kind of thing, so you could work at the same time). It was nothing to do with going out, more to do with the actual level of work expected in all subjects, not just medicine. It's true that science subjects had lots of lab time, but my reading hours (in PPE) easily matched the lab hours of my now DH, who did physics.

Agreed, Minerva. I think in arts subjects it's easier to get away with doing less, because you're less supervised, but if you don't put the work in, it very quickly becomes apparent that you're falling behind. I made the mistake of doing fuck-all in my first year (and blowing a grand of my own savings on Converse trainers and CDs), and I had to work realky hard to catch up before second year Mods.

wow there are some generous parents on this thread! My parents paid my tuition fees (£1000ish a year then) and that was it. I had loans of between 3 and 4 thousand a year but had to pay my hall fees/rent out of that so ended up with none left over. I had a part time job but couldn't work many hours due to lectures/coursework etc.

I'm already worrying about how much Uni will cost if DD goes in 15ish years time!

trois, you're hilarious. "No reason why a person of that age cant work as well as attend uni. Lectures are often few and far between." It totally depends on what you're studying. Mickey mouse studies at the university of sinkhampton, then yes. A proper degree at a proper university, hell no. I'm a student in the second bracket so I should probably know.

As for financial support, if you're a low income family then you don't have to pay anything to your DC. If your income is below the threshold (cant remember what it is, sorry) then they'll get an extremely generous amount of money from the govt and you can sit back.

If they're not getting the full amount, then you can do what my parents did, which is to give me the difference between what I'm actually getting from the govt. with my parents income and what I'd get if they were on a low income.

If that's a struggle from you then give them enough money so they have £60 to £80 pounds/week spending money (after rent and transport to/from uni). More won't encourage fiscal responsibility, less will make paying bills really hard work.

IMO your child MUST NOT live at home during uni. I know you're a great parent, but uni isn't about getting a degree, it's about figuring out how to do life as an adult. If you do the washing for them whilst they're at uni, they'll half expect it for the rest of their lives. If you give them £100 as soon as they get into financial problems, they'll never learn fiscal responsibility.

I would recommend taking the full student loan, and on top of that a 0% student overdraft. Paying off the tuition fee loan so your DC aren't saddled in debt is a nice thought, but frankly impossible unless you're on a 6 figure income. Instead of paying off student debt, give your DC the money when they graduate for a car/wedding/house deposit. Student loan debt is FAR cheaper than a mortgage.

Not sure which Uni DD will be going to but looked into bursaries and many are being offered as fee waivers instead of hard cash. e.g. £3k knocked off fees so only £6k per annum which doesn't help the same as getting the cash when you look at the repayment scheme.

I give my son £400 a month (£200 to live on and £200 towards the next years accommodation)... He gets 4K loan for his fees each year - doesn't qualify for grants.

Maybe it is also related to the parents' reasoning too. I went to Uni 92-96 and I was told by my parents that I was not to get a job as Uni was for learning. My parents are reasonably well off but not mega bucks by any means. Both of them are graduates. I was given £1k per term which had to cover absolutely everything. If I chose to eke it out over the hols then that was up to me although I was never asked for food / rent at home, just petrol money if I wanted to use a car. Fortunately I had a lucrative life guard job between school and Uni so that was a good cushion but I never even contemplated asking them for any more money.

If you do intend to give your children money while at university I think it will benefit them (and help your budgeting) much more if it is a fixed amount at regular intervals. Not paying their tuition fees (be ause that doesn't actually help NOW) and not bailing them out when they get into trouble, but a known quantity that they can work Into their budget.

I agree r.e. work. I worked, but I had unusual jobs. I worked in a marina during term time one day a weekend, and given that term times are generally quieter on the water I had plenty of down time, during which the management let me do whatever reading I needed, write up assignments on the pc, do internet research etc. Basically what I would be doing at home but with a couple of nice older chaps to chat to when I wanted and make me tea.

During the long hols I ran the PR/logistics for a racing yacht.

One winter I did a day a week in a shop, which wasn't as good as they wouldn't let me study funnily enough!

I would have struggled with any more, I did an arts based degree and there was a huge amount of work outside of lectures/seminars.

Perhaps, getorf, the best strategy would be to line up your daughter with seasonal jobs from now, which she may be able to keep during uni breaks (easier said than done, but it's probably the best bet if you have no clue where she's going, to do what, and if and how the system is going to change...)

I am currently at university studying Primary Education, and my parents are paying for my accomodation - something which I am very grateful for.

I receive a £3000 loan each year for my tutition fees which goes straight to the uni and I will have to pay back once I am earning.

Further to this, I recieve the basic maintenence loan which is income assessed and I do not qualify for any extra support in the form of grants or bursaries.
This maintenence loan is about £4000 a year and is expected to cover rent/food/books/transport to teaching placements/other living expenses.

My rent alone in my first year was £4400, so obviously that short fall had to be found from somewhere...and then some for me to actually be able to eat!

As a result, my parents pay my rent so that I have my maintenence loan to live off and I work as much as I can every time I come home so that I am also paying my own way where possible.

I feel that all these people saying it is ridiculous that people pay their DCs rent ABU, as without financial support from their parents some people would be unable to go to university at all.

GetOrf - i currently have 2 at university

ds1 is living at home and I'm not contributing anything (actually he's still paying me a little bit of board) but this is because he's working a 30 hour week on top of his studies. I don't know how he does it TBH and I think he'll have to cut back next year.

ds2 is living away and again I'm not contributing anything at the moment as he has a part-time job and is living on his earnings. We did help finance his year 2 abroad though last year.

Both have taken the full loans available.

dd starts next year I'm going to try to help her out a bit more as she may not manage to work and study and she'll be hit with the bigger fee debt.

Mine have been extremely lucky to find work I feel and it's OK for folk upthread to say that you shouldn't have to help them out but the reality is the maintenance loan barely covers rent and if they can't find work in the current climate what can you do?

It changes though in 2012. All those who have a DC already in university are under the old system.
My DS1 is just applying to 6th form so will come under the new fee and loan scheme.
I have struggled to accept that my children are faced with paying such vast amounts of money for an education that was free to their parents.
I was ready to pay off their tuition fees / loans so they didn't have to start life with such a burden of debt, but I have studied what Martyn Lewis says. Someone above put a link on but here is another. It's well worth a read.

In a nutshell he says we would be better spending our money on, for example, helping them with the deposit on their first home rather than effectively paying the loan money to the government in advance.

Secret, I am starting to think that was not sustainable and not fair to those who never go to uni, and still have to finance perhaps much richer kids going to uni (and who, on an average lifetime, will earn more than they do). I made a very good career out of uni, and so I almost feel guilty, and I do help to fund uni bursaries at my old college here and there.

The extent to which this will put very poor kids off, we do not know yet. However, we may just get used to that in the end: in Norway, my friend had huge loans leftover from uni which she will not pay off until she is 50 (her parents did not contribute at all). However, despite earning average salaries she is really not bothered, and sees it very much as a part of life, like a mortgage or having to pay for childcare.

It's a horrible thought isn't and I don't think people can understand unless their DC's are the ones facing the loans to go to uni. I would be estatic if tuition fees were still £3250 for 2012. Over the course of a couple of months last winter DD had to face the fees tripling and was told her £30 EMA was being snatched back. They were told they couldn't actually take all the EMA so reduced it by £10 a week just because they could.

We all contribute via taxes for all sorts of things we will never benefit from and I don't think a uni eductation should be singled out in this way. When you break it all down our taxation burden is massive in the UK and we deserve our children to get an education if they so wish.

GetOrf, my DS is in Year 11 and is already thinking about Uni too.

He has Aspergers, and is also v. risk-averse, so is not too keen on taking on more debt than is absolutely necessary . He is planning on living at home and attending a local university - he really doesn't DO social stuff (although I'm hoping that might change over the next couple of years and we have a v.v. good uni and an errrr, adequate one (where I am currently a student ). He could also commute to Bristol.

Your DD would also have the Bath options as well, the journey is only 20 minutes longer than to Bristol. I know a family where all 3 kids lived at home in Bolton and commuted to universities in Manchester. They don't seem to feel they've missed out particularly by not living away from home. They all worked part-time too.

I think the truth is, with the increase in fees and the recession, student life is about to change radically. It will become far more "normal" for youngsters to live at home, work part-time and attend a local uni, which has always been the case in the USA for example. There are also far more mature students around now (like me ) who alreadly live locally, are not interested in getting shitfaced every night, and don't need to move 150 miles to learn how to operate a washing machine.

Come next year, I'm intending to pay for all the books ds needs for his English Lit degree which could add up to a fair sum, but other than that he's on his own. He's also sitting scholarship exams at two of his choices to try and get some additional funds.

eatyourveg many university departments have book sales at the start of term in October. My DD got a few text books on amazon and ebay too. It is important though to get the correct edition of the text book which strangely (to me anyway) is not always the most recent edition. All ways to save some money!

I'm another one who was resigned to paying about £60+k to get ds through Uni debt free until I listened to Martin Lewis explaining why it makes sense to take the loans.

I think we'll do a half way house of ds borrowing the tuition fees but we'll cough up for accommodation and living expenses, as he's likely to go in the Army as an officer and will be earning significantly over the £21k so will definitely pay it back.

He's planning to join the University Officers Training Corps so will be paid about £300 a month for doing one evening a week and two weekends training, ie being paid to have fun blowing stuff up

Thanks for that goinggetstough useful to know. I always go though bookbutler when buying books online and have found Amazon is quite often not always the cheapest. Its fantastic for both new and second hand books but I'm hoping ds will seek out the local oxfam bookshop wherever he ends up.

DD is at uni 40 miles away from home. She commutes from here on college days and dashes back for her job as a carer she also works in the holidays to earn more. We don't give her anything towards her expenses but she lives her rent free so I guess that's our contribution to her.