phone problems again ...

[basildonbond]

ds (14) has had his phone confiscated (again) for texting during school (again) even though he knows I can and will check up on the times he sends texts

(god this is getting boring! - is he ever going to learn ...)

After an incident in the summer when he was sending and receiving extremely inappropriate texts I told him as I'm paying for the phone and as it's in my name I reserved the right to do a spot check on it to make sure there was nothing inappropriate on it any more. Anyway .... he's still got loads of topless (and worse) photos which stupid naive teenage girls have sent him (and god only knows what he's sent them in return)

Part of me wants to call the girls in question (ds has only met them once or twice and is certainly not 'going out' with them) and tell them to have a bit more self-respect, but I presume that's not the done thing ...

So what do I do? (apart from bin the sodding phone, which is looking increasingly more tempting) - do I just accept that this is what teenage boys do?

If he will not behave and needs a phone (to be able to get out and about/contact you) I'd be seriously thinking about taking his phone and replacing it with one with no camera and no internet capability.

Pair this with tight parental control on net time when "doing homework"- no webcam and screen public place with all history on, otherwise he'll just get round what you do.

Have a chat and explain this what you are being forced to do by his actions. If he had heeded warnings and behaved appropriately there would be no need to take actionYes teen boys look at boobs, but not usually those of people they know surely?

Remind him that that pictures like this are illegal and constitute pedophile activity. There do exist cases where the police have follow through and convicted. I don't often say "you would be ruining your life if..." because I think parents bandy that threat around too freely. But to get a record for sex offenses at 14 or 15 would seriously impair job and social prospects lifelong.

I agree with Theas18. Get him a basic phone on PAYG or a monthly £7.50 contract. He has to learn to be responsible for his actions. Using mobiles in the school building is banned at DD's school and merits instant detention.