15 year old Son with funny rituals

[Clairelf]

My 15 year old son has started with funny rituals of putting head in his hands whilst bending his knees or just standing there and touching his head, he also last night started emptying the bins which is unheard of for him, normally hes a well balanced, clever boy. We spoke to him last night about it and he said its a habit that he can stop and doesnt want to go to the docs about it, he doesnt do this in front of us but i caught him doing it in his room and as soon as he saw me he stopped, has anyone else had this problem with there teenage and is it common for teenagers to have habits as its worrying me to death x

he sounds as if he could have ocd, which is very common and can be treated. Is he stressed? there are quiet a few websites with info but I would go to dr's without him and have a chat?

I would want to investigate further as if it the start of ocd or similiar better to get help for it now than when the rituals get more out of hand.

Is he anxious about something?

Would some counselling help?

Ive been to the docs on my own yday n he said that if my son wants to talk to him on his own he can which my son refuses to do, but the doc did say its very common in teenagers and prob is a bit of ocd if im still worried in a couple of months to come back, since then i have spoken to my son n he said it all started 7 months ago, 3 weeks after my dads (his grandads who he was extremly close to) death, he has agreed that we will give it a month working and talking together and if it doesnt stop he will go to speak to a therapist, he didnt do the head/bending thing yday but he was logging in/out of his game over n over again when i told him he stopped but said he wasnt doing it but later on admitted he was, everything else about him i.e. school, eating, laughing is as it was before just these silly habbit things. How do I go about finding a good therapist, do I go through the doctors for one or just search the net, I dont mind paying.

I have ocd, and it gets really bad when stressed and tired.
My youngest daughter has more traits of it than my eldest, as she is very like me, whereas eldest is more chilled like her dad.
When my DD(18) got depressed last year i bought her a new bed and let her stay in it as long as she wanted. It helped her alot to have no pressures and lots of rest.
It is manageable by allowing lots of rest, give him lots of support like taxi ing etc (its a short period before they leave home) and you'll manage it. Get him to read about OCD for himself.
Sorry, not an expert, but got experience of OCD and teenagers.

I have suffered on and off since about 10 yo. It started with lights on and off a set number of times before leaving a room then moved onto checking and rechecking of locks/windows etc..

I knew something was wrong and managed to hide it from family for years but then my boyfriend caught me going around his parent's house checking things in the middle of the night when I was 18. I just learnt to hide it better and not let it spill over into everyday life. I've never seen a HC professional about it because it has never effected my life enough that I've been worried. I see it as a kind of security blanket, if you excuse the pun, a trait that makes me more secure.

It is worse when I'm stressed. I've spoken to a friend who I noticed counting her steps one day. It's a way of taking back a little control of life when you are uncertain or anxious.

If it makes you feel better, and this is in no way a boast, both my friend and I are both very intelligent, successful professionals.

Agree with pessimistic.
15 is not an easy age, just give as much security, comfort and reliability in home life as poss.

Poor ds....dd also 15 suffers with OCD and weevilswobble is right..they need so much love and security at 15.
Dd is struggling so much with tests at school...very anxious, vomiting, tearing things up in anger......I had to hug her this morning and tell her it didn't matter about the tests...her wellbeing is much more important.
She has CBT for it which helps, but it is no quick fix, and life can be so hard not just for her, but the whole family.
We found our therapist after much trial and error, through our local alternative therapies clinic.......it can be hard finding the right one who your ds will be comfortable with.

Dd looks at the OCD Uk site, there's a forum for teenagers.

Hope you get some help.

Thankyou so much for your advice, my son says he feels so much better now that we know about it and seems alot more talkative, he doesnt do the things at school just at home when hes on his own. Going to try the above methods and see how it goes. Thankyou x

My kids all have tics - involuntary sounds or movements - it's often linked with OCD

The movements your son's making sound very like tics to me - lots and lots of kids have them and it doesn't necessarily mean he's stressed or unhappy, and it's not a 'habit' as habits are things which on some level are voluntary whereas tics are something people 'have' to do

The absolute worst thing you can do with tics is draw attention to them as that makes the desire to do them overwhelming - the fact that your son can control it to some extent by suppressing the movements until he's at home shows that he's aware of what he's doing, which is a plus. Most kids grow out of tics at some point or they dwindle to such an extent that they're no longer noticeable.

Tics on their own are really nothing much to worry about although it can be very unnerving for parents (I know!) - for the vast majority of kids with tics it's the co-morbid conditions (things like OCD, ADHD etc) which cause the problems, not the tics - my dad has had tics all his life and they didn't get in the way of having a very successful career and marriage - don't despair :)

I used to and still feel the need to read every number plate of every car i see. I do symetrical patterns in my head and touch things the same with each hand or foot to even things out.
Its defo much better when i'm happy, relaxed and content. Much worse when i feel out of control.
My mother just wouldnt talk about it with me, even though i asked her.

If these rituals are affecting the rest of his life then he needs to see a therapist. It is possible that suppressing this behaviour at school is extremely tiring and stressful. The rituals start because they calm the person down, but not doing them causes extreme anxiety. Unfortunately, eventually it is a vicious circle because the rituals do not have the desired calming affect. he has to learn that feeling anxious is ok and it will subside and not get out of control. There is an overwhelming desire to remove all stress from our children in these type of cases and try and make them feel as secure as possible. But with OCD the worst thing you can do is reassure them about there anxieties, they have to overcome them on their own or you are reinforcing the behaviour. It can be tough. At the moment it sounds like it is quite mild and some talking therapy (CBT) could stop it getting any worse.

I'm very sorry that your father died, Clairelf. If your son was close to him, I'm not surprised he's trying to regain a sense of control over his life with these rituals.

My son (12) has tics and OCD. He is having CBT at CAMHS and it seems to be helping. He also takes fluoxetine to reduce his anxiety, although there is a long back story to this and it isn't just for the OCD. The OCD gets much worse when he is stressed or upset about something. It's probably best to nip the behaviour in the bud with your son if possible, as it gets harder to control as the habits become more entrenched. It really would be worth him seeing his doctor if you could persuade him to go. It sounds as if a referral to a counsellor to discuss his grandad's death would be extremely helpful to him, as this appears to be the trigger. Maybe he doesn't want to discuss it with you because he doesn't want to upset you and knows that you have your own grief to deal with.

It's really good that your son knows he can be open with you about it. I know that it helps my son a lot that we know about his OCD and don't criticise him for it or comment on it.