I don't have boys I'm afraid but do have two girls 15 and 12, and also teach. I can tell you that 10 is a vile age for girls, and 11 is not really better. My 12 year old is, I think, improving slowly, but the word slowly is key here. My 15 year old is delightful, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!
With my 12 year old, I try to ignore all the glaring (if looks could kill I'd be dead many times over!), eye rolling, door slamming, deep sighing, and telling me everyone hates her and her life sucks. I also ignore clothes all over the bedroom floor, mould festering in cups and eye make up that reinvents the words "black eye liner." Those things are small fry and if I obsess over them I will lose my relationship with her completely.
I try to remember that she is a bundle of hormones and not entirely in control of her emotions, that when she says "I hate you!" she's often angling for me to say "I still love you and always will" and for her to have a huge hug and a massive cry. I try to remember that although she wants to be treated and viewed as almost an adult, a lot of the time she still wishes she was still a little girl, and all this is mixed up inside.
I won't tolerate swearing at me, hitting her sister, hanging around on the streets with no purpose, and I keep her incredibly busy with youth theatre, singing, ice skating and dance, so she doesn't have time to go looking for trouble. I try to be genuinely interested in her, and am willing to listen for hours about all her friendship issues (which sound petty to me but are obviously of mammoth significance to her). I try to count to 10 before I react to anything she says so that my response is more measured and I don't act in shock or anger.
It seems to be working as I thought at 10 she would be utterly out of control by now. One of her favourite phrases was "so? What ya gunna to do about it?" but I haven't heard that for a while now.
In short, keep loving them even when it's hard, try to excuse the behaviour that you can, don't sweat the small stuff, but be willing to be hard on the big stuff. Let them know that you will always love and adore them, and that you are on their side. And know that one day they will be lovely again. 