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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Sanity check !

3 replies

Pippa5l · 02/12/2011 15:02

Ive have my 17yr old DD best friend living with us since beginning of October. Long story but basically the relationship with her Mother has broken down amongst some psycholgical and physical abuse. But this is the issue, last Wednesday night at 2am she came into my room in a blind panic, really upset as she had been peeing blood all night. I suspected a bad urine infection, calmed her down telling her lots of girls her age have this and off she went back to bed. She went to the doctor on Thursday who told her that indeed it was a urine infection and he had not seen such a dramatic and painful infection turn so bad so quickly. He gave her some strong antibiotics and told her to drink lots of water and cranberry juice.
Anyway here is the problem. She had a party planned for tonight and when I heard what the doctor said to her I told her that she could not go to the party and could stay off school tomorrow if need be. The default position of this girl is that she will find any reason to stay off schools and to not do chores, but this morning off she went to school and had taken some washing out for me which is unheard of especially before school. She very much wants to go to this party and has been moaning to my daughter that Im not her mother and technically have no say over her, she wont drink much so what difference to being at home. She is very persistent. She has not actually said anything to me but shes said a lot to DD.
My question is this, am I being ott in not letting her go to this party when she is on antibiotics and is not yet properly better ??

OP posts:
mrsjay · 02/12/2011 15:48

oh thats difficult isnt it because she isnt your daughter but shes staying in your house . she sounds a bit like all teens lazy until they want something . Is your own dd going to the party ? i think i would just leave it as shes going but do tell her if shes drinking and on anti biotics then she will throw up etc etc , id also give them a curfew seeing as she is so ill .

SecretSquirrels · 02/12/2011 15:48

To be blunt she is 17 and your lodger not your daughter.
I would say it's fine to say you think it would not be a good idea to go but I wouldn't go any further than that.

Pippa5l · 02/12/2011 16:03

Well shes not my lodger as she doesnt pay rent, I get a nominal amount of money from her father for food which has amounted to £320 in 3 months. I do feel shes my responsibility as shes in my house but I do hear what you are saying. Having said that I am trying to teach my daughter the rights and wrongs of behaviour and its difficult to allow one to do something and not another. But Im feeling that its her body and shes not done anything punishable so its probably a quieter life for me if I let her go. Thanks for your advice.

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