Please help I need some advice .... Don't know what to do ..

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I will try to keep this short... here is the story: Have been step mum to 2 teenage boys for past 4 years. They live with me and my husband (their dad)full time since their mum left 4 years ago. Youngest boy (13) has always been very " feminine"and I have had thoughts that he might be gay for a while now . He has no friends his own age who are boys and hangs out with girls whenever there is something on ..... This morning his phone alarm went off and I went downstairs to turn it off , he left it there by accident last night . I know I am bad, but I looked through his phone ...not all of the stuff but I noticed there were 2 videos on it so I opened them up . Not good :( He had filmed another boy (face shown first ) pulling his pants down and masturbating ..... Please someone help me out with this . My husband would flip if he finds this out . I have no-one to talk to about how I approach this sort of thing with him ... I know I was wrong to look up his phone , but he is only just gone 13 and I am horrified by what I saw .. I need some advice please .

Oh and I wouldn't let him have access to the laptop AT ALL. If he needs it for school work I would disconnect it from the internet.

Don't know if this is helpful but it seems to me that there are two separate issues - the gay one, and the sexual exploitation one.

I think you've done exactly the right thing.

On the latter, I've spent some time recently explaining the law about pornography and libel and the internet to our DS, because undoubtedly there are some not nice things going on somewhere in DS's environment, as everywhere. We've also discussed the legalities of under age sex.

And as parents or just as concerned adults, I feel like GB that we have an absolute duty re child protection.

On the gay issue, some people know pretty early on they're gay, some go through phases. It seems to me that if someone expresses affection for you, then you're privileged and it means that they can spot you are a loveable attractive person. But, big but, that does not entitle you to break the law nor put other people either into danger or in danger of humiliation. Nor does it mean you have to return their affection nor sexual orientation. And, whatever happens, and as you have said, you and your DH will love him, no matter what.

HTH

I am the very concerned father of a 16 year old girl, L. who lives with her Mum, her step Dad and older sister nearby. My daughter's Mum has had to go abroad to look after her ailing father, who has now died and is due to return home on Monday. L. has been associating with a girl friend (also 16) who stays out without consent for prolonged periods of time, recently this friend has gone missing. The police were contacted; L's friend has been in text contact with her mother to inform her that she is staying with her boyfriend. Yesterday L. asked her stepdad (with whom I have a good relationship) if she could stay at her girl friend's house for the night. He deferred to me and I granted her permission. I tried phoning the girl friend's mother - she would not pick up until the morning. L's girl friend told me that L. had not spent the night there. This afternoon, L's older sister made contact with her via Facebook and phone and she said that actually she had spent the night with her boyfriend. On a previous occasion, when L. and I had had a disagreement about nights out, she simply left her Mum's house and went missing for 3 days - including 1 school day. I have had meetings with L's deputy head to discuss strategy. L. is very bright with predicted GCSE grades of A* and A's, but she doesn't want to go to university and wants to pursue Btec instead. L's education is not the primary concern, but her safety is. I am at my wits end as I still do not know where she is or with whom. I want my daughter to have privacy - but not at the expense of her safety or her family's integrity. In this liberal world we have created for our families and society in general - as a reaction to our own parent's stronger disciplinarian principles things have gone badly wrong. Any hints and tips would be much appreciated.

You need to copy and paste that into a new thread (link at the top of this section) for advice, London. And title it for your issue, obviously. You'll get better replies that way- good luck.

sorry, I am not experience with all these, but seem like you have not try to find out the other boy's parents, I am not sure will it help? if he will be restrict by his parents to continues communicate to your son that way , may help. And distract him with sport or other interesting activity. Your stepson can find out his real sexuallity preference after he is more growth up, not label him as one way yet may be better.