Teenagers and parties - what age do you let them go?

[hadagutsfull]

DS (14 August just gone) has been invited to 2 parties, one this Saturday and another in a couple of weeks. He has only attended family parties up to now, where there have been more adults than teenagers. The two he has been invited to are 16th birthday parties.

I'm inclined to let him go - be dropped off and picked up at an agreed time - with the understanding that if he puts a foot wrong he won't be going to any more for the forseeable future. DH, however, just says 'No' to both of them (he tends to say no to most things but thats another thread!). He says drinks may be spiked etc, but my view is that we give DS something to take and he sticks to drinking that.

What age were yours when they started going to parties? What (if anything) did they take with them to drink? I'm so tired of being piggy-in-the-middle.

I'm glad you're letting him go. We always let our DC go (mainly DS1 (17) atm). Like another poster above, he's out every weekend. If he's only 14, don't take anything apart from a card (maybe with money in) for the birthday person. I agree with you - if you keep saying no, it will become something forbidden and he'll go mad when he does finally get to go.

I hope he has a good time and that your DH hasn't bitten his fingers down to the elbow by the time DS gets back home!

Secret I think the youngest of 6 has pretty much brought himself up in some respects. Although - to my mind - he has been given too much freedom from a very early age (he used to roam from one side of the estate to the other, even in infant school for example) he is also very independent. He's been here when DS is doing the "where's my socks/coat/phone" thing, and his answer is always "it's yours, you should know where it is". He also irons his own uniform etc. DS is too used to me doing everything for him

JudgeJudy I won't be letting him take anything. He's mentioned putting a tenner in the card though!

Sorry to keep coming back after long gaps but things have been a bit hectic lately. Roll on Sunday when this will be over ... till the next time!

how did you get on with the parties?

He went to the first party and all was fine. We had to attend something as a family first, and his two friends were with us, then we dropped the 3 of them at the party. One of his friends (the youngest of 6 I referred to) had a bag with cans of lager which he said were a present for boy who's party it was. Neither DS nor the other friend took anything. Anyway as I said we dropped them off, and then picked DS & his friend up at about midnight (I think - can't quite remember!) The other boy was allowed to stay the night.

They were both absolutely fine and didn't smell of cigarettes or appear to have had any lager, so everything in the garden was rosy.

However! He didn't make it to the next party because in the meantime he'd been caught smoking and then he came home after being out with friends having obviously been drinking! As a result he was grounded until Christmas, had his phone taken away etc etc. We've just started letting him out again but are keeping him on a much shorter rope until he proves he can be trusted again. Teenagers are a nightmare and I'm sure this won't be the last of the dramas ...