DD appears to be on a diet

[OrmIrian]

She's 12. And tall. And until recently was a little chubby - but the weight has just fallen off her and I would say she has a perfect figure now (not skinny). Up till now she has always eaten normally but in the last few weeks I've noticed she has started refusing pudding, or saying no when we share out chocolate on a Saturday evening. Neither of those things are a problem I guess but and more significantly she has taken to only eating half of her plateful of food and trying to dodge breakfast. She has also taken to eating really really slowly.

Now IME those are the strategies you use when you need to lose weight. She doesn't. I don't think she should lose any more weight - as it is her jeans hang off her. I thought it was just something to do with puberty and losing puppy fat but now I'm wondering.

What can/should I do?

Have you talked to her about it?

She tells me she is 'just being careful'

I am reluctant to say anything much either way in case I make it an issue that it might not be.

I think I would just keep an eye on her for a while.

If she just maintains these habits and doesn't lose too much more weight it will be brilliant for her, life is much easier when you have a lovely figure and good body weight (I used to and no longer do).

If the weight keeps dropping off and she doesn't seem to be able to enjoy food at all, have any 'treats' or enjoy eating out etc, then you will have to have a proper talk to her.

Does she exercise at all?

Only PE in school, walking the dog, riding and working in the stables. No organised or competetive activities.

I know boys and girls are different at puberty but both my DSs started to eat twice as much and still got thinner when they hit puberty.

I don't like the sound of those little eating changes. I think I would sit her down and have a talk about healthy weights and unhealthy body issues. Weigh her and then type it into here

I'm guessing it will show she's not overweight.

Thanks squirrel

I will suggest that she weighs herself and as you say I'd put money on her being a lowish bmi. Hopefully that will be enough to convince her not to do this. Cut out the junk, fine. But not breakfast and other meals.

Problem is ds2 is quite fat ATM. I think that he will lose it all over the next year or so - that was the pattern with my db and dn- but I have been trying very gently to adjust his diet so I am hoping that, and my own worries about weight haven't affected her. Probably not- more likely to be her friends in school

How's it going, orm?

Hi acanthus.

Thanks for asking. She ate like a small horse all weekend! But then lost her appetite again yesterday - ate almost none of her packed lunch and picked at dinner. She tells me that quite often she just doesn't feel hungry. And I am not forcing her to eat when she isn't hungry - that way real eating disorder lies!

I will NOT fuss! . I will encourage her to eat breakfast and provide meals at other times but apart from that try to remain chilled out

BTW her BMI is 21 so not a problem.

Well done Orm - you are doing the best thing. It's important not to comment when she eats a lot or when she eats a little. Just Don't Comment. It's like the toddler years all over again :)

OrmIrian I could have written your post, my dd (13) is doing exactly the same. She was a little on the, erm, rounded side, but now has a gorgeous figure. She says the same as your dd - that she's often just not hungry. I'm doing the same as you and not really mentioning it, just monitoring the situation. It was far more straightforward having a young child than a teenager !

Well that doesn't sound too bad - just a watching brief for you then? Hope things stay ok.

Thanks all for your comments!

Funnily enough I am trying to lose weight atm. I am a diet-survivor! All my teens and early 20s I was quite slim although I thought I wasn't and was always trying to diet half-heartedly - tried really disgusting things like apple vinegar diet, extreme detoxing etc. When I had kids I stopped for a while and then after DS2 was born I reached a new high weight - went for low-carb and lost a lot, then stopped lcing but was now running a great deal and eating less so lost even more. I am aware that DD has observed me fussing about weight . So now i am using the Paul McKenna cd to get a more relaxed atttitude to food generally - it isn't a diet, it's just eating when I'm really hungry not because I'm bored, tired, miserable etc. Hoping it will help to normalise food for DD too.