Very worried 13yr old DD with boyfriend.

[stellsie]

hope I can get some advice please :0
DD 13, 14 in march, has been going out with boyfriend (same age) 2 months. Seems very much like 'first love', really into each other lots of kissing & holding hands, so far so good. Last week at school however DD came home cross/upset that boyf's friend had been 'making up a rumour' & telling anyone who would listen about it; he is I think jealous of them going out. When asked DD about the rumour she said it didn't matter what it was, so I just gave her a bit of advice how to handle this boy, and told her he'd soon get bored. Anyway probably the curious (nosey) side of me kicked in and I looked on her Facebook and read stuff between DD & boyf. and it appears the 'rumour' was actually not just a rumour, and her boyf. had told his friend they had gone 'a bit further' and friend decided to tell everyone. Without letting DD know that I knew this, a couple of days later I had a chat with her about relationships and things other than kissing, to which her response was "mum! I'm only 13!
So I thought well I've given her my advice, I can only guide her on what she does or doesn't allow to happen - but I thought I had got the point across that if the boyfriend had told his friend something then maybe she should realise he might do it again,,, but as I wasn't feeling particularly comfortable about this, I looked again tonight at the messages - and they are both asking each other what age would you have sex :0
And he is telling DD how he was having a phone call with his friend filling him in on details! Now, my question is - do I open up & tell her that I've read the messages? (she knows I have her password, that was the deal that if she had nothing to hide I could look now & then), or do I try ANOTHER chat about being only young, and having to really trust someone before going further with them? If anyone has been through similar, please advise me as I feel worried that i don't know how to help her. Can't talk to DH, she is his little girl! Think he has just got used to her having a boyfriend! Many thanks.

typed this great big long message and somehow it deleted it anyway, in a nut shell (a large nut shell), DD said yesterday that she would come to work with me - so I said ok (phew!) - but then at the last minute changed her mind and said she would meet BF in town with other friends. Anyway, I got to work (after telling her he was not allowed round I wasnt there) and I had a look at her facebook, instincts and all that....she had messaged him and put "mum has gone now, you can come round"!!!! So my quick thinking workmate said to text her saying I felt ill and would probably be coming home. So I did, lo and behold DD text straight back "what time are you coming home?" - I just said I wasnt sure. Next thing, she rang me and said "I'm really sorry but BF is walking up to our house" - so I had a go at her and said she should have told him immediately he wasnt allowed round, then I told her they had to go to the town and have lunch/hang out etc. so they did - I have evidence as saw pics taken on facebook of them and friends at the park. I got a call at 230 from DD saying her & BF were freezing and could they walk back to the house as I would be home soon (after miraculously feeling better I decided to stay at work!). So I said they could, I got home at 315 and they were sitting on the doorstep not wanting to go inside because I had said they couldnt!

When BF went home - his mum picked him up a while later - me and DD had a bit of a row, she said she felt I didnt trust her even though she had already said to me & DH that she didnt want to have sex yet and all she had wanted to do with BF was sit in and watch a DVD. Hmmm........
X

You don't trust her as she has given you reasons to not do! Tell her that.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. IMO she is too young.