My obnoxious teenage daughter has brought out the worst in me!

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

Can't believe I'm the adult and I actually heard myself arguing with her, making bitchy remarks, bickering back and uttering the immortal words

"you started it"

to my 14 year old dd.

I'm a grown-up FFS. How did I stoop to that level?

What can I do about the relentless cheek and back-chat and sarky comments - she even had the effing cheek to complain about me on the 1-1 chat on childline website because I dared to shout at her!!!!!

Somebody help!!!!!!

Earlybird - hard to say. I know my first post on MN was about her and that was 2006, so she would have been 16/17, but that was after some years of her being a nightmare off and on. This is why it's hard to know - amongst all the hideousness, there were little pockets of loveliness and thoughtfulness.

And in her case, it was complicated by a diagnosis of depression at 17 - hard now to know what was being a teenager and what was depression. But that night I first posted here I was in tears, in absolute despair.

I recognise all of these posts re my own 14-year old. I know it's a calmer household when I can manage the ignore strategy (and I can, mostly, manage this) but, I think we've synchronised.... It's not pretty.

My 8 year old has been shockingly rude to me today.

This thread is so timely for me. Came on Mums net after a humdinger with my 13 year old daughter - she screamed at me for not getting her some craft stuff she had demanded. It made me furious because I feel she thinks I am her servant and told her so! I actually said I felt like leaving home because her and her 2 brothers are so disrespectful towards me and got fully engaged in the argument. She is now upstairs unable to watch I"m a Celebrity (what punishment!) All sounds so ridiculous now. Will try much harder not to fight back next time

Oooh, my dd is 16 now and still at it! Told me this morning I must have taken/moved/hidden £2.50 she had left on her bedside cabinet. I offered her a £10 note (all I had in my purse), but had it thrown back at me because it was the CHANGE she needed!!

Decided to adopt CabbitMel's approach and expect the worst when I picked her up from school. And she was lovely to me - for all of about 5 minutes when she got a "no" to "can I have a New Years' Eve party?". Am now getting the silent treatment. Still, DH is away tonight too - think I'll just snuggle in my bed with book..........

no chickydoo my DS 17 is! He does absolutley zilch unless someone stands over him and watches his every move. however, he does have a lot going on in his life so i guess we should cut some slack but he is maddening! hopefully he'll grow out of it one day. Don't think i was any better myself - in fact i definitely wasn't!

I don't know what to do about my 13yr daughter Today I been called a bitch had things thrown at me before she ran off I try to ignore her but she just gets in my face & when she doesn't get a reaction from me. She starts to wind up her older brother when he's trying to study & then I start getting really angry with her. I'm dreading when she comes home. I don't know what to do with her. if I ignore her & let it pass she'll think its ok to swear at us & be so nasty. or do I punish her (grounding or taking phone away) & have the argument drag on & cause more grief :(

i've got a 10 year old ds who is behaving like this already. i have suggested he thinks about going to boarding school as he is so vile and sarcastic to me all the time (while being incredibly charming to everyone outside the home, his school teacher actually came out to see me the other day to tell me how wonderful and helpful he had been, parents of other kids comment on what a pleasure he is to have round for tea etc).

Well I have on,y just joined tonight and am typing this after nearly a bottle of wine following a row with my dd. My girl is 15 and I love her to pieces. Sometimes our relationship is great. She talks to me a lot about her friends and her bf and I try to be as supportive as I can. I organise girly days out at the theatre, take her and bf out etc and other times she talks to me Like I am dirt on her shoe - which I have real problems coping with. I don't swear but have just told her to f off and have confiscated her phone and computer until she can learn to communicate but I am gutted that I have reacted like this and feel like I have dug myself in a hole and feel so childish.

I love MN, today especially, DD 13 decided this morning she could not go to school as she couldn't find her tie, had gotten upset and made her mascarra run. Cut long story short DD didn't go to sch instead snuck out of house, walked streets till neighbour spotted her and brought her home, all of which was about 1/2 hr and by which time I had discovered she was gone and had rang sch and police. When she returned neighbour had been tearfully told what a horrible pathetic parent I was, that I was forcing her to go to sch when she wasn't ready. Neighbour finally convinced DD to go back to sch after lunch (I'd suggested same thing but of course that 'wasn't going to happen'). Took to sch. picked up both children at end of day to be verbally and physically abused from minute DD walked in. Have to admit retalilated but when your forced into a corner, literally, you panic. Have tried ignoring and walking away but when your followed from room to room and the front and back doors are locked to keep you in - what do you do?