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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17 yr old DS depressed

9 replies

holstenlips · 26/10/2011 20:11

hi, i wonder if anyone can help, my DS is depressed. A couple of weeks now. Been to GP - referred for counselling once a week, he has done 1 session. Today he stayed in bed all day, i was working. He was crying over dinner. I suggested he write down how he feels as it may help . he wrote 2 pages. He smells, wont bathe. Im so worried.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 26/10/2011 22:47

I'm afraid I haven't got any answers, but I will bump it up in the hope that it will get noticed.

exoticfruits · 27/10/2011 07:49

I had thought someone might reply. Is he at school/college? Has he got GCSEs? What is causing the depression?

notnownotever · 27/10/2011 15:01

You have made positive steps. GP has offered great help.

Each child is so different.

When my child was depressed and self harmed at nearly 15, this is what I did. Visited GP who refered my child, but no councelling was offered, said it was a school bullying problem and resolve it at school, but that's another story.

So I decided to try some other ideas to sort things out. She spent a lot of time in her room (like most teens), and it was a kind of a no go area for me (she told me to stay out), so I cleared out her room one day when she was out at school and I had a day off work, top to bottom, removed all old clothes and things she no longer wore, loads of old junk and old bits of rubbish, bought her some new bed linen etc. Didn't peek in diaries, notes, letters. Just didn't touch them. Very hard but knew it was for the best.

For most teenagers their rooms are private. But I decided to clear it out, for her as it was a burden to sort out and continually getting messier by the day. My doing it helped her feel comfortable again in her surroundings and able to manage it, and so start to manage herself. She is improving bit by bit. Still gets very low. Maybe you could suggest you do it together and he has places that he does and you don't touch, it might help.

Hope this bumps thread for you and also I know how sad you must be feeling. There are a few threads you could search on MN or look back further in the teen threads and find some more helpful answers.

holstenlips · 28/10/2011 19:06

Thank you, i really appreciate your answers. he went back to GP yesterday and was referred to community psych team..who will call him...so far they havent. Because he mentioned a feeling of wanting to hurt himself she also advised him to go to a+e if he feels seriously in danger of injuring himself.I dont know if this is right but i decided to do what i thought was best which is to get him up, not let him spend all day in bed, persuade him to bath and keep appointments. so far so good, he looks a lot better tonight and has gone out with some friends for a few hours! he has counselling again on monday evening.

The bedroom thing is very familiar, his room is an attic type room, large but pretty dark. And very messy! I am going to ask him to swap rooms with me so he can have a lot more light and it will give us the opportunity to clear everything out. Not sure he will agree but i think it would help.

I know he is not sleeping well at night and he told me he was scared of the dark, nasty dreams etc so hopefully this will help.

Re the background to this depression. He/we have been through some tough times, over the years. His Dad is remarried and lives a long way away. he sees him perhaps 3 times a year. He had a 'minor' setback in the last few weeks in his saturday job, which seemed to knock his confidence. I think it was the straw that broke the camels back.

thank you

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 19:09

I should keep pressing for help-it sounds as though the fact that he is being taken seriously and listened to is helping.

holstenlips · 28/10/2011 19:18

yes, i intend to try tracking down this community psych team - i tried today but the number we got from the gp was wrong! she has apparently referred him and they will call him.
i am really trying to give him the space to talk , have had DD taken off for the weekend as she is only 4 so demands so much time and attention he does tend to get overlooked (im a lone parent) plus i work 5 days a week.
He is doing great i think, as he is really trying, with a bit of persuasion, to keep going.
I love him so much i cant bear the thought of him being so unhappy and hopeless about life.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 19:21

I think that the only things that a parent wants is a healthy, happy DC so it is very difficult. Going out with friends is a very good sign-hopefully they will be supportive. I think that the teen years are very difficult for many.

holstenlips · 28/10/2011 20:30

GP just called me! she said community team were meant to call today so she will chase up, she was very good to phone like that i think. I told her he has gone out with friends and she said that is a good sign.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 22:21

You have made the start-I hope that it all works out well.

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