Should you be a Facebook friend with your teenager?

[TriggersBroom]

DD is coming up to 13 and is getting geared up to have Facebook.

I know there is a whole debate on what age you should start on Facebook. But she's a sensible kid, and we've discussed appropriate usage.

Friends who already have kids on Facebook are facebook "friends" with their DC. Whilst it would be nice to see who she is befriending and chatting to, isn't that cramping their style/invading their privacy a bit.

Thoughts please?

Why don't you ask her?

Ds1 freind requested me and I checked with him before I accepted. He has no problem with me posting on his wall and I post on his mates wall sometimes too, if I have something relevent or blindingly witty to say. I'm not friends with his girlfriend because I figured she would prefer me not to be and I made sure she understood it wasn't a slight.

I'm friends with our friends older kids and most of our friends are friends with DS1 - we're all very friendly!

Ds1 and I chat a lot on it and it saves shouting up to him to see if he want a cuppa!

Sorry but I would never ask for DC's email or facebook password or check on them. I trust them and respect their privacy as I expect them to respect mine.

I post on their walls and I like photos, etc. My dd2 had a lovely photo of her and her boyfriend - it was soooo cute - I couldn't resist commenting. They also post on my wall with silly photos and links off youtube. I think I am a fairly liberal mother so they don't seem to have any problems with my posting (they might tell you otherwise, but I am not very strict with them - never really felt the need).

They even get their friends to add me and often their friends want me to comment on their photos. I don't understand why but I always do as I am told! Neither of them are very young - 16 and 19 - so may be it's an age thing?

Don't be complacent if your child does agree to have you as a friend.
There is apparently an increasing trend for children to have multiple FB accounts - one for parental consumption and another where they really talk to their friends.

And take a look at this site for ways to keep your teen safe

"Why don't you ask her? " Oh I will talk to her before she gets an account. I wanted to get the MN consensus before I got to that stage!

"Sorry but I would never ask for DC's email or facebook password or check on them" I had details of the email password when she set it up a long time ago. I've never read contents of emails but ikwym.

Interesting point about multiple FB accounts piprabbit. Hadn't thought about that. And yes, I keep meaning to look at the Ceop site which was recommended by the school. Useful link. Thanks.

this answers your question!

Im 43 and my mum is one of my facebook friends - thanks sis
But it's all good, because I've worked out how to post stuff so she can't see it. If I can do this, I'm sure the average teenager can, so there is absolutely no point in being their friend just to monitor their actions.
Having said that, I am on my ds's friends list. I never post anything on his wall and I think he has forgotten I'm on there.

I would defo be her Friend it will help you keep track of her life in a friendly way and make sure that she is not talking to inaproperate people without having to go into her account behind her back.

I would also make sure I knew her password just in case. But I think to maintain trust between you and her and so stop her from hiding things you should try and access her account with her and talk her threw what you want.

My DS recently turned 13 and got a Facebook account and he knows that it is an absolute condition of him having it that I remain a friend on it. I make no secret of the fact that I'm insisting on this condition to help ensure that he keeps safe online.