Teenager behaviour and Playstation/XBox

[silver73]

My two DS become complete nightmares when they are allowed to play games on the XBox and Playstation. Thinking of taking them away completely as they become toxic when you try to limit the amount of time they spend playing. Have had three hours of shouting from DS2 (13) when trying to get him to come off the XBox this evening.

Anyone else had this? Do things improve once said items are removed?

I guess it must be harder with DSs who can be so much bigger and stronger (not sure if this is the case for you), but in this house, off means off, and if it doesn't go off, then it gets taken away. No 3 hours arguing here, if it's internet then the router gets turned off, if it's tv then the cables get uplugged, no going on about it. I would also make sure that they are playing it in family areas, not their bedrooms etc. And that there's a time they have to be off by, and if they can't stick to that time then take it away - I would.

Totally agree with Maryz and notjustme. We did notice major improvements in DS's organisational ability when not on wall-to-wall xbox.

Do look also at age ratings. DS is 13 and allowed to play games age up to 16 but no older. I think that there is a major difference between the age 18 games and the age 15/16 games.

We have the xbox downstairs. One of the benefits of this is that we insist that DS keeps it turned down. i think this helps to stop him being 'sucked in' IYSWIM.

Thanks all. We have agreed rules with them several times but they just will not keep to them. We have switched off router, removed cables etc and they are fine for a few hours then back to square one. I am afraid to switch the machines off as I have been told it can ruin the consoles so my requests fall on deaf ears. Unfortunately, they have some sort of live thing and are talking to friends etc. It also causes huge, unpleasant arguments between the boys which are very very loud.

A friend of mine had the same problem and took the consoles away and now has her lovely sons back.

Silver73 unless you are playing on the consoles then I really wouldnt worry about turning them off. It doesnt matter to you if they disappear into another dimension altogether!

Thanks everyone. The consoles have gone on holiday maybe never to return. My DSs are lovely boys and these games make them toxic.

EVERY parent I speak to has a problem with this and I think it's really important that we encourage each other with keeping it under control. We owe it to ourselves AND our children - even if they kick and scream about it. Childhood or young adulthood is about more than just consol games. Well done Silver73 for caring enough to put your foot down! :)

Good to hear ted2 saying we must all support each other with our teens with XBox. Just think so may parents must battle and enforce reasonable amounts of time and it takes such effort.

Our DS needs to keep in with friends and be socially doing what peers get up to as he has social communication needs and we want him to feel confident when conversations arise at school about x box or TV or football - whatever the latest 15 yr old boys discuss. You want them to have some street cred. But... as has been said so much more to development than this.

SO 9pm curfew it is and hwk done before that too. We are told all other boys have had time limit adjusted as they get older but we can't make him fit the mould that much - it is just not good for them too close to bedtime. They need to wind down form the adrenalin these things cause.

Am sure this is a huge topic in family households, is it not?

I have two boys and recognise this problem.
I have to admit it's benefits too though. We are very rural, neither boy has a friend in the village and all their school friends are also in villages many miles apart. Xbox live allows them to chat and play with friends.

As Maryz says time limits are essential. We had a strict rota/time limit allowing more at weekends than school days and one clear day off. I drew it up and stuck it on the wall.
It worked but I still hated the fact that they felt cheated if they missed their "slot" due to other commitments.
Then suddenly last summer they both got fed up with it and stopped playing. I found it hard to explain to them how much nicer they both were now they weren't obsessed with x box.
Sorry to say DS1 (16)is back on it again although not excessively. If I complain he points out that he does all his homework and is getting A*s so he thinks I am being unreasonable.
DS2 is now hooked on Minecraft which he plays with friends via Skype.

Thank goodness I found this thread. My son has been playing FIFA, and I have to say he changes persona, and not positively!

He has been banned for a while, and when it resumes it will be strictly rationed

My COD4 addict is watching TV - it's the only time I get on the PC! I've done all of the above. As we have GCSE revision to do - and I've resorted to sitting in the study so he is not tempted to stop school work on-line and start gaming. Watch out for the games on-line that now have a penalty if you log-off too soon! Those are a doozy! I often wonder if it would be easier if he was a gamer via Xbox or PS3 - instead of a PC gamer. I know it is a different generation - but it can be so hostile.

Ds (13) got Xbox for Christmas and Live a couple of weeks later, and it's actually proving positive for him in a 'carrot and stick' kind of way.

It's in the living room so he knows it'll be time limited so the rest of the family can watch tv. If he wants to play Live he has to make a prior arrangement with a friend and not just randomly suggest games when someone interesting appears online.

He too becomes a git when he's allowed too much access to it but I'm encouraging him to be aware of it and manage his usage accordingly. He has been told that he has to demonstrate his ability to play Xbox games without it adversely affecting his attitude towards other people and how he manages the rest of his life or it goes, and he works with that.

Mind you, I don't think you can introduce rules to teenagers if they haven't applied when they were younger. Ds knows I'm a stubborn old mare because I always have been, and I get the final word. He has the option to contribute when we set rules but after that he has to follow them if everyone's agreed them.

My 11ds is an only child and xbox live has been a blessing for him. Plus he can play for hours with this dad (although not really happy about the 18 war games...). I honestly don't mind him playing his xbox because I know given the choice he would jump at the chance to kick a ball around outside instead. As I said, I was a bit disturbed when the war games appeared but after googling "is Call of Duty suitable for 10year olds" most of the replies were yes apart from some bloody scenes and some swearing. I had a huge row with my husband about this but decided that as long as he knows that the F word is horrible and not to be used then I had to go with it/them. I would much prefer him to practice his guitar or read but unfortunately xbox live with his friends wins hands down.

It is true, we must remember the social side of Xbox live is so enjoyable to the boys. It's good to hear the upside Ladybird4.