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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Cadets - did it make a difference to your teenager?

65 replies

GnomeDePlume · 10/09/2011 18:22

DS is wanting to join army/air cadets very soon. I am all in favour of this. I am hoping that this will help him mature a bit and be less droopy. At the moment he spends all his time on the computer/xbox. He has friends but they all seem to be games focussed as well. The cadets is his idea by the way.

If your teenager has done something like cadets how did they change, did they change?

OP posts:
seeker · 11/09/2011 19:43

Nothing wrong with targt shooting. Both of my children know how to use an air rifle and a shot gun.

Simulating infantry missions is a very different matter, as is learning how to use an army style rifle. The sole purpose of such weapons is killing and maiming other human beings.

GypsyMoth · 11/09/2011 19:44

And they did quasar instead of a Christmas party..... Apparently more fun than jelly and ice cream in the scout hut!

NoGoodAtHousework · 11/09/2011 19:44

I went to ATC as a teenager and loved it, as others had said, the opportunities are far cooler than guides etc-I was a guide and a cub leader.
We shot at a shootin range, and as yet I have not killed anyone nor run around in gangs or anything to that effect (and I don't plan to as it happens!lol)
I found the shooting actually taught me how to me calm, control my breathing as a thought would you stop your child doing say archery? Same aim ulitmately and same outcome if it was used in anger.
Highly recommend ATC, teaches basic discipline, responsibility and respect! All good qualities!

GypsyMoth · 11/09/2011 19:45

A shot gun? Why??

seeker · 11/09/2011 19:49

Because they are country children and their uncle is a gamekeeper.

seeker · 11/09/2011 19:51

If you can't see the difference between Mqrtial Arts and archery and simulated infantry exercises with rifles loaded with blanks then you are suffering from severe imagination failure!

Choufleur · 11/09/2011 19:54

Actually op was talking about how it changed children.

seeker · 11/09/2011 20:05

So am I. I wqould be very surprised if simulating manoeuvres intended to kill epopel doesn't change the people who do it

sneakybeak · 11/09/2011 20:16

I think I can see your point seeker (and I don't want to pick a fight), but do you really think an evening a week spent at cadets is likely to change someone to their detriment?

I enrolled at 13, but it just wasn't all about guns. There was so much more richness to it: first aid, drill, codes, fitness etc (am racking my brains as it was 20 years ago!) The pride in uniform, and attention to detail meant there was a real pride in attending.

Choufleur · 11/09/2011 20:38

I'm not aware of cadets who have suffered PTSD fr

Choufleur · 11/09/2011 20:40

Sorry bloody phone. Suffered PTSD from simulated manoeuvres. Or gone killing sprees.

Original poster
GnomeDePlume · 11/09/2011 20:48

Thank you for the different comments. Having tried other options, cadets is what my DS wants to do. I think that it is quite normal for children and especially boys to pick up a stick, point it at someone and say 'bang'. My DS plays xbox and I am quite certain that he isnt doing 'Assassin's Creed, the flower arranging years'.

If DS is going to apply to join the Army or the RAF then I would like him to have some experience of the disciplined life beforehand.

I'm also curious to know what if any changes people felt they had seen in their teenagers after joining cadets. Good or bad. Have all the changes been positive?

OP posts:
sneakybeak · 11/09/2011 20:49

PMSL @ the flower arranging years..

orienteerer · 11/09/2011 21:21

Seeker - I've done an annual weapons test (live firing on a range) every year for the last 24 years, it doesn't mean I have any desire to go and use those skills outside of the "range" environment. Quite the contrary, I don't like DS having any "toy weapons" etc!

GypsyMoth · 11/09/2011 21:22

Lol seeker.... My imagination is fine thankyou

So you are ok with shooting animals etc then? Cadets kill nobody....

orienteerer · 11/09/2011 21:24

Sorry GnomeDP - that doesn't directly answer your question Grin. My gut feeling, and personal experience from doing "it" as an adult is that it can only be beneficial.

seeker · 11/09/2011 21:27

Mock all you like. Yes of course boys pick up sticks and go bang. And some 13 year olds play "The Assassin's Creed". But I happen to think thqtnonenof my jobs as the parent of a boy is to try to question the assumption that conflict and violence are normal and acceptable. So much of the the stuff pushed at our boys perpetuates that assumption. It!s important to redress the balance a bit.

Sirzy · 11/09/2011 21:33

Never been in the ATC but through my work with St John Ambulance have had the chance to go on the Range when being used by ATC cadets. They may be shooting but it is done is a exceptionally controlled manor. When they are doing it its not about conflict, its about fun. A lot of Cadets I know have gone on to join the Armed Service so its natural they will be interested in such things.

And having shot on the range before I can confirm I have never felt the need to use a gun to kill, or even injure, anyone.

If when older DS wanted to join the ATC I would be very happy with his decision.

Original poster
GnomeDePlume · 11/09/2011 22:20

Seeker, I dont agree with the use of armed conflict as a first resort but I do agree with it as a last resort. In this we must agree to differ. My comments were that boys are naturally inclined towards conflict, they need to learn to temper that.

My question wasnt about the rights and wrongs of cadets but about whether teenagers benefit from the experience. If my son is going to turn into a mindless bully then I will withdraw my support. However, if he will benefit from the experience - becoming more organised, becoming more self-reliant etc etc then I will be all for it.

OP posts:
givemushypeasachance · 11/09/2011 22:37

My sister and I joined army cadets for a year and a half - we both stopped around GCSE time to focus more on exams, but I would definitely recommend it. If nothing else it should teach your DS how to iron a shirt and polish boots correctly - excellent life skills! Seriously though it's great as a social activity, getting on with other people and working as a team as well as trying out new activities like running assault courses, first aid, DofE, and proper army stuff like drill, applying camo and running about in the woods, adventure training. The summer camps were really great fun.

Santac · 11/09/2011 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

leicestershiregirl · 11/09/2011 23:05

I was in Army Cadets as a teenager (late 90s) and it's probably all changed since then. The things we were allowed to do I would be very surprised if they do now - proper infantry exercises firing semi-automatic weapons and all sorts. But great fun and it gets you fit and makes you very self-disciplined if you take it seriously. I saw that kids who didn't do well at school or in other areas of their life got a lot out of it.

It wasn't all great though in my time - bullying was not rife exactly but it wasn't uncommon and girl cadets in my detachment had to be careful of one particular adult male volunteer with wandering hands. It was a tricky environment for girls full-stop as they were outnumbered by boys maybe 3:1 and the culture was quite macho. But it's likely to have changed in this respect too.

leicestershiregirl · 11/09/2011 23:07

P.S. I'm now a pacifist and member of CND so running round with guns didn't do me any harm :)

Dragonwoman · 11/09/2011 23:43

I found bullying to be a problem too when I was a teen. The military aspect emphasises the importance of 'fitting in'. If you don't - if you are clumsy and poor at drill or just not 'the type' then you won't like it.

grumpyoldbookworm · 12/09/2011 08:43

DS2 jointed air cadets 2 and a half years ago - he was then at a very difficult teenager stage (grunting cave troll...) and it has been absolutely fantastic for him. He's made lots of friends, done loads of outdoorsy things like kayaking, plays a drum in the band and has represented the county at two sports. He is part way through his gold D of E and has completed bronze. They also do a BTec which can be included on the UCAS form. It may not suit every child ( or parent) but he enjoys it and it has given him confidence and a steadyiness when he really needed it - he also learned to polish shoes and iron a shirt!