Teens and MSN

[cranberryjampots]

My dd and her friends all go on MSN like a great many others. I have instilled it into my dd NOT to allow anyone she doesnt know to contact her. So far she has complied. Her friend (just 13) talks to loads of boys/men on MSN as she has also joined other sites and given her details out. Her stepdad told me a couple of weeks ago that they'd banned her from MSN after they found a man from Belgium asking for her photo! However she is online pretty constantly and she's been offering other older lads details to my dd (who has refused them). She was over here the other day and had accessed MSN and another site from my computer and as I have autofill enabled it showed me the log in name so I did go and look at her profile. She says she's 15 on it. Im aware I was being very nosy but not sure what (if anything) to do/say. Obviously I dont want to actually discuss it with her parents but wonder whether I should mention to her mum I know how to access our dd's MSN convos - that really is sticking my oar in isnt it?

"dds'" of course before I get slated for that

If it was your daughter, would you want to know? I have teen dds, I feel I can trust them, but I certainly don't trust all the other people out there in the big, wide world. She is a child, the people she has been talking to are not. I think you should say something - better safe than sorry I guess?

I have a 14 yr old dd.She is an avid msn'er.

She is quite picky who she speaks to but I know some of her peers are not.

I would probably talk to the other parent but in a way that doesn't solely accuse her dd alone.Might get their back up,ifykwim.

you can check the msn logs

can't you just start a general conversation with the mum - ask her if it worries her at all? My dds are only 5 and 3 and the thought of dealing with this makes me shudder - and I am absolutely not the paranoid kind. Have you sopken openly to your dd - does she know EXACTLY why you worry? Might sound a bit daft but you could tell her about examples on mn when great swathes of people have been taken in by trolls - obvisouly the intent is totally different but it might help show her how totally easy it is to con people over the internet and how even adults can be taken in.

I do trust my own dd (but like to just keep a check IYKWIM) - she doesnt know I can access her MSN history and I like to keep it that way. I spoke to another mum who tends to run things past me -basically if I let my dd do it she lets hers because she knows I will have completely and thoroughly investigated it first. In fact her dd was also signing onto this website but couldnt actually tell her but I did offer to show her how to check up on them

My dd does know the risks of the internet and Ive made sure she realises that these things can happen to her or her friends not someone from miles away who she doesnt know. She seems very sensible to be fair.

If your going to check up on your dds then make sure they dont find out please! I have had many a friend have world war II with their mums over such experiences- i realise that it is way better to be safe then not, i too would be willing to jeopardize things in order to keep them safe if it were necessary- but please, trust me, it is much better to ensure that they know that they cannot give out personal details over the internet- and to be absoloutely honest, they aren't stupid, i really doubt they would. As long as they dont give out personal details, it doesnt really matter who they talk too- if anyone gets dodgy they can block and delete them and thats that!!! Why not makethem set up a seperate msn account for people they dont know and moderate this instead and let them know that you will? then they will know that their friends and their conversations are private and they will feel like you trust them which is the best feeling in a mother daughter relationship to have- trust me