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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

teenage relationship-make Romeo and Juliet look like amateurs

12 replies

mrscoleridge · 23/08/2011 19:00

My 15 year old DD has been going out with boy of same age since xmas. They are very close, spending loads of time together etc. Problem is he has now moved over two hours away, they are still in contact and he is coming to stay next week. What is the best way to handle this? I am worried she will not be concentrating on her Year 11 work and as I am divorced ex will be annoyed to miss any of his time with her. He is v nice by the way as is family. Is it normal to have this kind of intense realtionship at this age?

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SecretSquirrels · 23/08/2011 21:05

My 15 year old DS has been with his GF since they were 13. If I had known when he was 13 and coyly asked my permission to have a girlfriend I'd have said no. I never for a moment expected this kind of long term relationship. I feel he is missing out on lots of fun and neglects his friends somewhat. Having said that they have had a lovely romance and she is very sweet.
She has stayed over a few times. The rules are strictly door wide open at all times if they are alone together and she sleeps in the spare room which is next to mine.
Surely the distance and new schools involved in your DDs case will make it fizzle out? I would not interfere though, unless the relationship was actually affecting their school work.

mrscoleridge · 23/08/2011 21:52

Thanks SecretSquirrels. Yes I was thinking maybe it will fizzle out (although no sign of that yet) but then am worried DD will be devastated. Have similar rules to you so that's comforting. Oh well young love. Guess we have all been through it.

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MrsRobertDuvall · 24/08/2011 11:54

It will definitely fizzle out.
Just have strict rules like secret squirrels re staying.
Love the thread title.

cat64 · 24/08/2011 18:20

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Amaretti · 24/08/2011 18:38

My brother has been married for eight to "that fit girl in French!", they are both late thirties now.

ShoutyBag · 24/08/2011 19:32

Well my dd's hasn't fizzled out and it's now 6 months ldr!!!! Very committed and head over heels in love.

bigscarymum · 24/08/2011 20:14

DD went out with a boy from age 14-15 for a year. Just as you say, head over heels etc. Eventually she began to see they were missing out and it came to a natural end. Fortunately they were both ready & it was no big drama. My best friend met her hubby at 15. They have been married for 32 years. If it is meant to be it will be. If not it won't! Probably nothing you can do other than worry and support.

mrscoleridge · 24/08/2011 22:29

Thanks for all your replies-yes agree that you never know, worry and support it is then.

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senorah · 25/08/2011 19:45

My DD 17 fell in love in summer between year 10/11 (same age boy) and the relationship has only just fizzled out (she citing his immaturity!) but up until June this yr were still passionately full on, planning a holiday together for her 18th birthday! Be prepared for the inevitable.. SEX.. but despite all this she achieved brill GCSE's (6 A* 4A) and AS levels ( AABB) and she puts this down to being happy and in love.
Keep an open mind at all times cos they sure can surprise you!

figroll · 25/08/2011 21:20

My dd (16) has been seeing a boy 12 months older than her for around 6 or 7 months and it really has been full on. She is in year 11 and he is in year 12, so they have both being busy doing exams at the same time as getting to know each other, etc. He got As and Bs for his ASs and she got 10 A* and 2 As for her GCSEs (which she found out today, so I am a very pround mummy today!). I think they are very loved up at the moment, but they both want to do well and go to uni. I know that during exam time, they had a bit of time on facebook and skype but still were quite disciplined about leaving time for revision. They seem to have a really great relationship and get on very well, so I just leave them to it, to be honest.

SecretSquirrels · 26/08/2011 15:24

I think it can work if they both have a similar positive attitude to school work. Luckily DS and GF are both hard working and ambitious.
I have tentatively suggested to DS that he is missing out on FUN but he thinks they will be together forever [heart emoticon].

mrscoleridge · 26/08/2011 15:31

Thanks senorah yes my dd also did well getting 7 AS and 1b in her gcses in year 10. BF had his posted so not sure how he did. Guess this just all takes some getting used to as she is oldest hope will be more chilled with youngest

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