DD called me a horrible name on facebook

[Rosiegirl]

I accidently logged onto my 14 yo DD's facebook page today (I usually use my laptop, but needed to use the main house computer and her details were automatically in when i pressed log-in) She is away on holiday and was "in-boxing" a boy and called me a whore for not letting her have a contract phone.

I am absolutely horrified. We get on really well, have been shopping recently, Thorpe Park, chat about everything, I generally like her (apart from when she is hormonal). She has sent me lots of texts telling me how much she is missing me. Should I ignore this? Is it just bravado in front of friends, or should I admit I saw it?

ignore it I say.

I think I would chat to her about it, explain how you feel. Wouldn't let it go. I have had words with my DCs about bad language on their FB, which was not unreasonable as they have many family members as friends. Try not to take it personally though, our lovely teens do like to spout off! Don't know where they get it from!!

don't read her inbox then

thanks usual - i really wish I hadn't, I didn't click on anything it just came up with her front page as she was currently in discussion, after I saw it I didn't want to see anymore and logged straight out.

That's the thing Cheery, it was obviously an in-box conversation, not on her main page (we have already talked about all her family reading what she has to say).

Was it a public post or were you reading her private messages? If the latter then you have no right to feel upset.

ignore...they need to let off steam somewhere and to have someone to blame, she did it in a very non-public way. Another time she will use you - blame you! for her not doing something 'cool' (but dangerous) and you will be glad she has you as the 'bad mum'!

Nope not a public post, but it was on the screen when it loaded and unfortunately I did see it. If I had overheard a telephone conversation or her talking to a friend calling me a whore, I am sure I would speak to her about it. However private, I really don't think I should ever be referred to as a whore in any way, which is what I am struggling with.

If its any consolation I'm sure my DS says a few things about me every now and again and yes, their language does leave a lot to be desired! If it has really upset you could you not just explain how you came across what she said and give her a telling off for it? I would.

actually I now think if you didnt have to click on anything to have seen then you should actually talk with her about it.

I think I will be honest with her and let her know what I have seen, and let her know that she does need to be careful as she never knows who may see something or overhear her. I won't string her up about it as I am very sure it wasn't meant maliciously, but I think she needs to realise there are still boundaries, calling her mum a whore, stepped over one.

Exactly! I think we sometimes get a bit bodded down with "their feeling", what about ours! Showing who's the adult doesn't hurt now and again.

bodded??? blimey what on earth was I typing there? soz dementia is deffo setting in, meant "bogged"!

Absolutely, definitely, ignore it.