WORRIED! are teenagers as expensive and difficult as they appear?

[sambageeni]

I have 3dds, age 5,3,1. I have a close friend with 2dds, 15 and 13 and they scare me to be honest! They have very little repsect for their mum and constantly want want want. I am now paranoid that all teenagers are a nightmare and that we are not going to be able to provide what they need/want financially. We would love a 4th child but fear the expensive of the teenage years!

Any thoughts/advice please

in a word to the thread title -YES!
However, dd (16) got herself a little job, well actually i got it for her,very lucky i know and has been doing two, sometimes three 4 hour shifts per week. It's a little hotel and she loves it! she really enjoys having her own money and spending it on whatever she wants :) gets her out the house too :)

Not all teens are expensive. Yes, mine want expensive gadgets like laptops, but we can't afford to buy them one and they accept that. Mine (boys) aren't into expensive pursuits or clothes so make no demands on my purse of that nature. They also don't demand me as a taxi service or as a personal entertainer. I don't like the fact they spend so much time at home, being anti-social, and playing on the Xbox, but it does mean I know where they are, they aren't getting into trouble, and I am not running around after them.

My dd who is only 11 will be another matter when it comes to spending money on clothes, mobiles, make up, etc - I can already see that. But that is just her, one child out of the four that I have. So no, I do not agree that teenagers by their very nature will be expensive.

Difficult? Disrespectful? Yes, a bit, but again, not universally so. A lot of their seeming difficultness and disrespectfulness is actually them finding their feet as individual adults. You wouldn't want an adult child of yours to be as meek and compliant as a 5 year old, would you?

Out of the house sounds good mabs! I think i would pay someone to employ ds! Friend may have job for him on Sats in cafe but only in september

Our teenagers aren't too bad. None of the are fashionistas, nor do they go out a lot. I have one who is absent-minded and loses phones, glasses, driving license, and never remembers appointments.

They do eat a lot.

My teen was brought up to understand that just because she wanted something didn't mean she would automatically be entitled to it. She gets pocket money and has to save up to get some things.

Uniforms and clothing can be expensive, especially when theres a lot of pressure to have the right labels.

Dh and I have brought her up knowing that manners cost nothing, and so far we've only had attitude problems around the time of her period.

However, we've just discovered that my teen (dd aged 14) has developed a liking for alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol, so all bets are off.

My 3 DDs vary so much in personality - DD1 has come out the other side of teenage, she's now 18, and has never been a problem. She has lost/broken several phones/cameras/ipods but has part paid for their replacements herself from weekend job earnings. She is frustratingly untidy and occasionally treats the place like a hotel, but on the flip side we can enjoy watching trash TV together and have a laugh. She drinks but not excessively, she is not a label freak - it's the way we have brought her up and luckily she has like minded friends. However, I don't think DD2 will give us such an easy ride - she's 8 with a horrendous attitude at times, yet has had the same upbringing. Who knows what she'll be like as a teen?

Re jobs, I agree they are few and far between - DD1 was very lucky to get a supermarket job, she has equally polite/pleasant looking/articulate friends who have not even had interviews. DD1 filled in about 5 application forms and handed in 10 CVs but only 2 places bothered to reply, one with a no and the other to offer the interview for the job she got.