15 Year Old DD Pocket Money/Helping Out??

[hedwig06]

I have a 15 yo DD, 11 yo DD, 9 yo DS & a 4 yo DS.

We have been trying to implement pocket money for a few months, versus giving out money willy nilly

We basically don't know how much to give her versus what to ask for in return.

I am a SAHM, so all jobs are really done by me, I keep on top of everything pretty much ok, the washing does pile up sometimes, but no-one can wash anymore than me as the machines are constantly going.

We live in Birmingham, so cinema trips usually cost about £10 all in, swimming trips are free, so its just the cost of the fast food .....

We buy all clothes, make-up, toiletries, would we ask DD to buy her own from any pocket money we gave?

Also what about DD 11, how much do we ask her to do or how much do we give her?

Thanks for your help

At 15 my DD's had £25. Out of that they bought any special toiletries. non essential clothes and funded trips out with friends. They didn't have a mobile but if they had we would have probably given them an extra £10 towards it. We paid for all school expenses and for after school activities. EG Drama and youth club. They paid for friends birthday presents. We didn't link getting pocket money with doing jobs around the house. Although they were expected to take turns in cleaning the bathroom and doing the washing up.

I have 4 DDs - almost 15, 13, 11 and 8. I'm a bit haphazard about the pocket money, so I'm sure they scam more out of me, but in principle this is what we do.

We buy all school clothes, shoes, sports clothes, toiletries etc. Twice a year we get them more non-school clothes, otherwise we plug the gap if they need it (i.e. grow out of something, or it falls apart). If they want other clothes, they have to use their allowance.

We also give the older 3 lunch money (DD4 has packed lunches). They get a school bus, so don't need money for that. We pay for after school activities and school trips.

They then get a monthly allowance (to try to attempt to budget). We worked this out based around £10 a week to allow them to either go to the cinema etc, or to save up for special clothes or music etc, which works out at £50 per month. They also have to buy anything that I don't deem necessary - i.e. make up, trips to starbucks when out, posh toiletries etc.

In return for this, they have to maintain their school work - i.e. any notes home about missed homework etc and they lose that week's portion of the allowance (£10), keep their rooms tidy and make their beds, not leave a trail of destruction around the house, help out setting and clearing the table after dinner etc. I don't feel like I ask them to do a huge amount towards the housework, but they are responsible for their own mess.

In reality, if they have spent all their allowance and it's a friend's birthday at the cinema etc, we usually give in and give them the money give them an advance. Similarly, if they have seen clothes they really want, and tried them on several times, and keep expressing an interest in it, and I approve of it they mostly get it. The allowance gives me the perfect 'out' if I disapprove, or if it looks like an impulse want.

Oh, I forgot to add, this only really applies to DD1 and 2, although now DD3 is heading to secondary, she'll get the same deal. DD4 gets £5 a week, which she mostly hoards.

The only danger with linking pocket money to chores is that it can be seen as an optional get-out, ie, if I don't want to do my jobs this week, I can choose to go without money for the privilege. That's okay if you're happy with that, but if you want them to do the jobs regardless then I'd consider not linking the two.

DD1 (15) gets £60/month paid by standing order direct into her bank account. This covers:

• all luxury toiletries, makeup etc
• all non-school clothes
• all non-family leisure activities, hobbies etc
• hair cuts
• phone top-up

All other expenses (school uniform, underwear, general toiletries etc) are met by the management.

DD1 is doing well with her money. It is tight but she is learning to budget and live within her means. She dresses well on this budget.

DD1 is expected to take responsibility when we are out (other DCs are 12 & 11). She cooks a couple of meals in the week for herself and the other DCs. She is asked to organise things like hoovering, bathroom cleaning (their bathroom) when we are out.

Her allowance isnt linked but she is expected to contribute the above to the family effort!

Thanks for all your responses, I have thought about your point BertieBotts, as this has happened in the past when we have tried to implement pocket money, I even went as far as a rota, giving them all small jobs, dependant on age but they all did something to help around the house, but they didn't stick to it and within 2 weeks, were at the shrugging the shoulders part when I reminded them about their jobs, saying they weren't bothered and didn't need the money :-(

DD 15 is very lazy she doesn't do anything really at all, she will sit reading all day if I let her .......

I think I will stay as we are for a bit, but I am getting to the end of my tether with the continual hand outs like its a bottomless pit.

Thanks again for you shared thoughts and ideas.

Angi x

Hi, I have just seen this post and read with interest after my first post on the AIBU thread re chores. I too am trying to link pocket money / chores but it does seem like a battle. My Ds's are 12 (nearly 13) and 10. I ask them to do some basic jobs (setting table, empty dishwasher etc) as well as keeping their bedrooms tidy (a constant battle!!). They get £20 & £15 per month respectively at the moment but we buy all clothes & toiletries and they don't go out to the cinema etc yet so they basically save their money....in a way this is good because I am hoping to teach them the value of money. My DS1 has his money paid straight into his bank account and at the moment is savig for a TV, he also has his name down for a paper round as soon as he is 13.

My sons are required to keep their rooms tidy, clean them and are allowed the dining room as their sitting room if they look after that too. I also expect them to wash their own clothes and change their beds. I'll do a bit of ironing if it is best clothes. Pocket money was conditional on that being done but not a reward for it. DS2 gets £20pcm for lawn cutting and that is a straight paid job for him ( because we don't like doing it and he likes having the money)

Ds1 (15) gets £25 p/m into his bank account, plus £25 p/m contract phone. Also lunch money (£3 per day) during school term. Oh and £3 p/w for tennis. We buy all clothes BUT if he wants something which we consider hideously overpriced a bit much, he chips in. So for e.g he wanted a Superdry hoody recently (£45!!!!! ). I would pay £25 for an unbranded hoody, so that's what I did- he paid the balance.

However he'll be starting to do a spot of babysitting for us soon, on a regular(ish) basis, so will probably get a bit more in his allowance. Not so much payment for sitting, more of an acknowledgement.

I never found that linking pocket money to chores worked, tbh. As a pp mentioned, very often he would prefer to go cashless than do the chores and I would just get wound up about it. Now chores not being done is linked to loss of privileges (loss of xbox, to be precise) and whaddya know- chores tend to get done.

higgle, how old are your sons? Just out of curiosity, my eldest started doing some ironing - as a paid chore, but then got bored (he is 13 in Sept).

I have had better results already today, my youngest has done loads of the chores and my eldest was out at summer school but since coming home has tidied his room and helped clear away / wash up after tea, otherwise I told him there would be no internet connection tonight!! I can't really take his PS off him as he bought it, but I can take the internet connection and/or TV if necessary which would make it hard to use :)

DS1 is at uni now, but these arrangements were in place from when they were 13 & 16 and continue. DS2 now 16. I'm lucky, they seem to be more domestic than me or DH - DS2 told me off for getting the collander (plastic) stained with pesto the other day, and told me to be more responsible when making salad!

LOL! Thanks for that Higgle, I am in the process of trying to work out how much is too much and trying to get a balance, hence why I have signed up to Mums net, it seems to be going in the right direction after only a couple of days and it's good to know I am not the only one with problems / concerns and not a super-mum :)