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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Why did no one tell me?

47 replies

Saltire · 19/07/2011 17:05

6 more years of DS1 beng a teenager, I cna't cope after 3 motnhs.
Do they all carry on like the world owes them soemthing, that all parents are "unfair", don't wash, don't clean their teeth, answer back,argue with parents, argue with siblings, leave clothes all over the place, moan, whinge,

OP posts:

Dumbledoresgirl · 20/07/2011 16:43

It isn't the shouting that gets me down. My 2 teens rarely shout and when they do, I find it amusing and shout back.

I don't even mind the lack of washing. They get sent to the shower periodically. What they do in there is their business. I often comment on the grease in their hair but ultimately, if they want to look like that, that's their business too.

Girls don't feature in their lives so nothing to worry about there, for now.

But what gets me is the unending moroseness, day after day. Ds1 (15) has been like this since he was about 10. Ds2 (13) has periods of it. I wish I could get them to crack a smile for some reason other than they are laughing at someone else's misfortune.

Maryz · 20/07/2011 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noddyholder · 20/07/2011 17:14

Maryz you are right they soon move on to £££££ stuff once they get a whiff of it. The lack of humour is wearing but at 17 my ds is just finding his again after 3 yrs of grunts and moans

SecretSquirrels · 20/07/2011 17:21

Oh yes the moroseness (is that a word? It should be anyway).
DS1 is 15 and has a steady GF but is currently casting a spell of gloom over the house.
DS2 still perky and cheerful for now.

MittzyTheVixen · 20/07/2011 17:37

Another one here.....

He can be lovely emotionally now, which I am thankful for but the world owes him a living and his sense of entitlement makes my jaw drop.

After a long discussion re his phone, which I stupidly put on contract, about using the internet and free wifi, he assured me there would be no further cost, £50 fecking pounds he has gone over his sodding bill AGAIN, and that is after 2 expensive (for me) school trips extra cash, and a failed trip to the cinema with mates that he just frittered the bloody money away despite not actually going.

He's fine and lovely if he gets his own way or isn't under stress, but behaves like a violent mardy teen/toddler otherwise.

I am glad when he is out a lot of the time

He expresses opinions and points of view that repulse me (racist etc) even though I don't think he really is, they are just words to him but it is vile.

And yes Saltire, my DS is another with appalling hygiene, despite which, he gets a lot of attention from girls. Maybe if I stopped washing, brushing my teeth/hair etc I would get a man? ..

sorry for the rant, your thread is a bit close to home

Dumbledoresgirl · 20/07/2011 17:45

"Oh yes the moroseness (is that a word? It should be anyway)."

I did wonder about moroseosity but realised I had been reading too much of dd's Georgia Nicolson books (she makes up endless, ludicrous words of that ilk).

Original poster

Saltire · 20/07/2011 21:21

Yes the moroseness is another thing and the unending moaning aobut everything
"DS1 please can you take these towels up with you and put them in teh airing cupboard"
HIM_ "I have to do everything" or "I'm reporting you to social services for child abuse" or "I'm bored of eating your food" or "you can't tell me what to do" etc etc etc

OP posts:

GnomeDePlume · 20/07/2011 23:07

My DCs are allowed to be miserable but not rude

happygolucky0 · 28/07/2011 00:35

Yes it is hard work. I have a 13 yr old almost 14. It drives me nuts too having to say have a wash..... clean your teeth..... and if I ask for a tidy room bedroom once a week well .......... you would think I have asked for the whole house to be cleaned!!
On the other hand thinking about it he is nicer than I was at that age!! Not that makes it any easier everyday. It is so hard to see him unkept when I dont go on about getting himself bathed.Good to know that it may change soon.... but there again I have just ordered a water meter to go on arggggggggg lol

lollielou · 06/08/2011 10:37

Hi im new to this site and i didnt know whether to laugh or cry when i read these comments. My son has just turned 13 and ive been worrying bout the pikie stage he has been going through. Soap dodgin constantly naggin to clean teeth bath etc.....and you think why is my son like this Im not.

My main problem however is his lack of friends....he spends a lot of time at home playing computer games etc and holidays are difficult as he doesnt have a lot of friends to go out and do something with. Ive tried clubs scouts etc but with the scouts he didnt like the idea of stayin overnight and with most of the clubs they persuade you to go to church and he wasnt sure he wanted to do that. He has had friendship issues in the past that have followed him into secondary school as children dont allow fellow pupils to foget . Im a single working parent and Ive always been sociable so it really saddens me that he is on his own a lot. Ive always encouraged sleep overs friends comin over but as his got older this has dwindled out.

monstermissy · 06/08/2011 10:49

I think the term 'pikie stage' is very offensive.

My son has recently given up a good job (for his age) so he can dye his hair a bizarre colour, if i object he claims im trying to stop him expressing himself fgs, I turn the wifi off here when i think its late enough which always causes problems but otherwise he would be online well into the night. Im also i fan of turning off the power at the main box if he is in his room and ignoring me whilst i call him. Oh the joys of teenagers.

lollielou · 06/08/2011 11:09

how is it offensive? and whom is it offensive too?

crazynanna · 06/08/2011 11:11

I assume 'Pikie' is offensive to the Travelling community.

Not a nice term IMO

lollielou · 06/08/2011 11:12

So what have u done now he has left his job......is he still allowed to use wifi etc

lollielou · 06/08/2011 11:14

no as they are not all pikie they r just as clean or dirty as us....so offence intended

lollielou · 06/08/2011 11:20

not intended rather

AmberLeaf · 06/08/2011 11:39

Welcome to mumsnet Lollilou!

Yup 'Pikie' is offensive to travellers and wont go down well here [but you know now so ]

'Moroseness' yep, drives me batty!

Cheer the fuck up boy, you dont have bills to pay etc etc

Me;
'Can you pick your wet towel up off the floor please'

Boy;
'Aaargh its not fair I have to do everything round here'

We vary between wafts of boy armpit and choking on Lynx/aftershave...having to search for my skin/hair care products in his room!

Dont get me started on the feet!

I remember my mum throwing my brothers trainers out into the garden saying

'Ive smelt cleaner tramps'

crazynanna · 06/08/2011 11:45

Well,my 'teen' son (aged 28) is staying on my sofa after mega bust up with OH(she deserves a medal for putting up with him IMO).
And I can tell you that those weird smells do remain. I had to wash his gym kit the other day as if I hadn't,I would have been raided by the Anti Terrorism squad for storing WMD,in this case,Mustard Gas

mumeeee · 06/08/2011 11:55

Dd1 and 2 were always fine about washing and cleaning teeth. DD3 needed a little encouragement until she was about 15. but she does have learning difficulties.Even life is unfair and the world owes me everything. We have just had a Thank you card from DD 2 (21). Thanking us for taking her on holiday to Canada.

newtoit · 08/08/2011 19:14

Not exactly a massive problem...but I'm short on advice with this one. DD(just 13) who is generally a quiet, low key character has just spent a week at Pony Club camp. Over the week she started her periods and found herself a boyfriend (nearly 15 and very sweet). The problem is he has been fancied by her very best friend for the last 2 years. The 2 girls are (were) very close..living 2 mins away and spending the hols riding and walking the dogs. I am so upset for her friend but DD is mostly oblivious to her pain and spends all her time texting lovey-dovey things to said beau!! Feel I have had a steep learning curve this week and while I am tempted to give moral advice...she is very happy and apparently loved up. Also how do you approach organising meetings with said boy. We are in the country so she would need lifts...she hasn't mentioned meeting up yet but what boundaries do most parents impose. I have only just ( in the last 6 months) let her go off for dog walks and an hours shopping with friends and she has never asked to do more. Don't want to allow her more space than required and she doesn't generally challenge the boundaries in place, so I want them to be right.

eandemum · 14/08/2011 00:19

newtoit - will be watching to see any advice - as my 13 yr old DS has just started going out with someone - except they haven't gone anywhere yet!!
as I will need to be involved for lifts (the horror of it!!)

Fiendishlie · 14/08/2011 19:42

And Its Old Spice here after they watched the adverts. yuck hahaha, here too. It reminds me of my grandad, nicer than Lynx though. I'm a bad mother, I gave up with the nagging about teeth cleaning. Let 'em rot

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