I have one at Uni, one who has just finished school (age 18.. did a btec media) and one doing A levels now...
The eldest knew she wanted to be a doctor from age 4 and worked solidly towards her goal.. now at Med school.. loving her course but has found living away horribly stressful..
The second knew he didn't want to go.. still has no idea what he wants but is now looking for a local job of any sort
The third is very academic but utterly unsure about going to Uni. As she doesn't know what she wants to do and doesn't want to go for the hell of it without an end goal. Her plan is to finish A levels (she's AS now) work a year or so and then reassess... I think she is being very sensible.
To be honest it makes no odds how high your son's IQ is if he is isn't committed to academics, no matter how much you would like him to be.. if he has messed up several times in a row already then he doesn't sound ready. Uni generally means self directed study a LOT .. and it's easy to fall behind and fail especially if you don't have your parents breathing down your neck:)
He should only go if he really really wants to. If not..well if he gets his A levels he can go at some later date!
My brother (now 27 ) did A levels but did NOT want to go to Uni as he liked earning money.. started in a shop job.. moved to a job with a bank.. moved sideways into web design... now earning MUCH more than his friends who went to uni... there are many ways to decent jobs !! (not that money is the be all and end all but just saying that you can get on without a degree!)go
Also.. if he does go... some degrees are more worth doing than others employment wise... he needs to do his own research and find out what he would really like to do.
I haven't find it easy to accept that my no 3 child ..who potentially is Oxbridge material.. isn't at all sure she wants to go to uni, but I also respect her ability to know her own mind.. as yet she doesn't feel ready.. and frankly.. I have a good degree and didn't 'use' it as such and am none the less in a job I enjoy, so I know it's not the most important thing in the world...