How late do your teenagers come home?

[katiebdee]

What time is it reasonable to expect a 14 year old to come home after being at friends houses/gatherings/parties? And do you go and collect them or would you let them make their own way home late at night? I am tempted to say 10pm and to turn up on the doorstep to pick him up. In reality I say 10.30 and arrive at about 10.45ish, lurking around a corner until he appears. Apparently, no other parent behaves in this way, it is totally embarrassing and all his friends make their own way home in the early hours of the morning...

Gosh, I must be a lot stricter than I thought. DS1 is almost 14 and he's usually in by 7, the one time he was allowed home at 8 he had his phone stolen.
I'm not sure if I'm being mean and over protective now or not.
I would have said that 10p.m was far too late on a school night especially.
We live in a suburb, and I would say it was relativley safe, if he sticks to the area we live in, if he was to go to the large park or the shopping precinct then the older teenagers hang around there late at night and it is known that there is trouble there frequently. The police and the specials do patrol there and seem to know most of the teenagers, who generally are good, but boredom often leads to silly behaviour that can get out of hand, plus you always have the rogue couple who seem to have no boundaries and are allowed at all times of the day and night with no apparent supervision who cause trouble.

So it's the weekend. What are the rules we're sticking to?
Here's mine:

1. Text me by 8:45 to tell me where she is.
2. If walking, be back in the house by 9.30 pm.
3. After that text me once more & then I'm driving to where I know she'll be & get her by 10:30.
4. If any of her mates want a lift home, I will gladly taxi them around the whole town to get them home. I'm not even going to make judgy comments about other parents because I have seen how flexible others are on this thread.

I'm sticking to what DH and I feel comfortable with, for our children.

My DD is 16 yrs (a difficult one).

If it's not a sleepover she comes back before 10pm. She often goes out 'for a walk' after dinner, and I do worry when it's getting dark. DH says 'relax! it's normal for a teenager'. Yes, I was like her when I was a teenager. But now as a parent I do worry because I know what I was up to.

All of a sudden I feel like the strictest parent in the world! In our house - four children aged between 14 and 22 - the rules are until the end of school year 11 home by seven pm always; during year 12 and year 13 seven pm on schoolnights, one am Fridays and Saturdays; and after that anything goes as they pay us a bit of rent and part of what you get for your rent in this house is me finally getting off your case!

ds1 is 12 and has to be in between 8 and 8.30 on school nights, and anything up to 9.30 at weekends depending on where he is.

DS 13 and a half. Home during the week by 6.30 (if over the park and I'd rather he never do this, its across the road though!) but his friends can come play till 8.00pm and vice versa as they live in the same street. If at a friends house further away I pick up at 8.00pm.

Weekends - he goes to Sea Cadets on a Friday evening till 9.30 and I pick up. Saturday, usually try to do something with him and a mate but if they go to the park same as weekdays applies. Sundays, Sea Cadets all day till 4pm and I collect. If at park 6.30 rule applies.

So, thought I had it all sewn up really for a while BUT he now has a girlfriend apparently! Don't like this but what can you do! We live in SW London and this girl lives in Kingston (heart palputations going on here as its too far away). He wants to take her to the piccys on Saturday so I agreed he could meet her half way in an area he is very familiar with and depending on time the film finishes, he can walk back if before 6.30pm or I shall collect.

Also told him that I want to speak to her mum beforehand to check that all's above board and the mum is ok with it too....

Have said I would give girlfriend a lift home as often as necessary and if he wants to go to Kingston I drop and pick up.

Think Ive covered all bases!!!! phew!

before bedtime on school night especially, 14yo would thought 9:30-10 weekends i think depends on your opinion, if its a party, pick up when it finishes... i've known people whose parents stranded them and had to walk 4 miles home at 2 o clock in the morning... were very unimpressed, your all very caring parents it seems :)

Blimey - mine are not allowed out on school nights ! Ok a bit of footy down the park after school but in for dinner .
V occasional party at weekends -pickup at specified time.