Have you had teenage party at home? Drink? supervision?

[inkyfingers]

Eldest son had his 17th party last month. First one at home that wasn't film and pizza-type of thing. I bought a small amount of low-al beer (about 1 each). Of course about 4 boys brought some with them, and I didn't realise til later. Behaviour was actually fine. We were in the house, but not interfering (not supervising the drink either). One of his oldest, nicest friends was sick in the garden and stayed the night at house, which was planned. Our DS was fine and didn't drink much at all - maybe he didn't dare??!!

Basically, not again. Not happy about the alcohol and we'll do a food-based party even if it's adult 'dinner' rather than teenaged rave-up.

Honestly, what would you do? Do you supply stuff, ban their own bottles. 'man' the bar and breathalyse them every hour?

what sort of teenage parties do you allow either at home or for your DCs to go to? I was amazed that these sort of parties started with a bang on the 16th birthday.

Sorry lots of questions.....

My DS1 is 15 and until last week all parties and sleepovers he went to had been alcohol free. Last week he went to a party in the village and they had been given cider to drink by the parents. I was a bit that they had done this without asking us whether we agreed to our 15 year old having alcohol. He said he knew we wouldn't mind as long as he only had one drink, and that they were supervised, which is true but I would prefer to have been asked.
In fact we have allowed him the odd beer on holiday and wine on special occasions. I would rather he learned a gradual responsible attitude to drink as Pagwatch says.
He then went to a second party in the same week. A girl whose parents I know . All 15 year olds mixed sexes.
I brought up the subject of drinking in view of his earlier experience. I said that even if the parents didn't provide it there could be one or two friends who sneaked it in.He was very defensive and said he was sure there would be no alcohol at this party and his friends aren't like that. His exact words were "just because you hung around street corners drinking vodka doesn't me I will". I don't know where he got that idea.

It turned out they were given cans of beer.

Yhe only teenage parties We've had here were sleepovers and then there were only 3 friends, OUr DD's preferered going bowling,going out to dinner or to the cinema even when they were 17

We don't provide alcohol under 18 and one tactic that worked well was to ask DD to provide a guest list by the night before to which there were to be no additions. That deterred a lot of young people on the edge of her friendship group turning up! Luckily for her 18th she wanted a party at home and invited lots of friends and quite a few adults important to her. The kids went out later and it was fun. Maybe we were just lucky and we have had a few incidents when DD has returned home drunk which were eye opening!

In my view, i'd rather my DD went to and hosted parties with alcohol. Simply because when they go to uni, they are going to be around this. If they go having never drunk much or it always ebing 'disproved' of at home, they will go wild at uni with the freedom and not be able to handle nights out.
All my DDs and DS have had v different attitudes. The two older girls have both been to such parties, one from a much younger age (about 16) and the parties began quite innocent then as boys and more drink beyond alcopops the parties got more wild. But to be honest the worst that would happen would be them learning the lesson the hard way and drinking too much resulting in them throwing up, or (im worried im going to be screamed at for saying this) but normal teenage sexual behaviour.. ah :S! (this was when they got to 16 though)
I have no problem, all the ones who eevr came were very polite, would apologise and clear up and vomit and would obey rules like not going in certain rooms.
In my opinion when they got to 18 they were much more ready to go out clubbing etc sensibly and have a good time without going OTT or putting themselves in danger. I know others who have never really drunk much or always do it behind parents backs and see alcohol as a huge novelty and go over the top at 18/uni when out to prove themselves to friends or simply because they dont know their limit.
I think this sounds awful but is true, one of my DDs really lacked confidence but going out and meeting new people and having times when it was expected you 'let yourself go' was a huge help in the process of her coming out of herself and learning to show her wonderful personality. She certainly isnt that shy girl anymore!

So going to parties and drinking sensibly is highly encouraged in my household.
Youngest DD is just reaching this stage, and while before this year (shes 15 nearly 16) i would not have provided alcohol but would have no problem wtih eg wine on a table or with food.
I will certainly be encouraging her though to have the experiences of such 'raves' her sisters and brother did.

Our 17 year old daughter had a party for her birthday. We allowed alcohol to be brought to the party but we didn't supply any ourselves (we emptied the drinks cupboard beforehand in case anyone fancied helping themselves). Whilst I'm happy to allow my daughter to have a couple of cans of cider I think it would be irresponsible of me to supply alcohol to other under age teens without their parents consent. We left them to it for about 4 hours and told them what time we'd be home. We told our daughter that we'd tolerate moderate drinking but if anyone got legless we would ring their parents to pick them up and it would be the last party we'd allow. Everything went fine and I would do it again, but i do think you have to do it with some rules and not just allow a free for all. If someone were to become ill at my house I would feel responsible as a parent.

I do think it is a problem in our society that teenagers can be excluded from social life before they turn 18. Where can teenagers (from 13 to 18) go to socialise in the evening? Cafes are closed, fast food outlets are pretty miserable, and pubs are off limits. I would like to see more of a cafe/bar culture as in other European countries where it is normal to go to a bar and drink coffee/soft drinks in the evening.