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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Does anyone else have a mumbling teenage boy?

170 replies

inthesticks · 26/05/2011 15:45

Just a rant really.
DS1 has a very deep voice but speaks quietly (unless he's shouting at the x box).

We've had all those converstions about speaking clearly to adults and looking people in the eye, but I can't hear a word he says. Admittedly my hearing isn't perfect but he knows that.

Now he has a cold and so his voice has gone down several octaves and is even quieter.
I feel like I need an eartrumpet.
Or semaphore.
Or sign language.

OP posts:
MooMooFarm · 27/05/2011 17:55

Mine manages to make me hear me if he's asking for money Hmm

MooMooFarm · 27/05/2011 17:55

Hear him Blush

Toomuchtea · 27/05/2011 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nokissymum · 27/05/2011 19:24

Oh my God inthesticksyou could have been having a conversation with MY boy. I can't understand it he is 9, he mumbles all the time and just seems to have a permanent scowl on his face.

The constant "pardon" on my side a d then eventually he says "forget it" mind you I can hear that one! It worst when I'm driving cos I can't turn to "lip read" him, he used to be such a smiley boy, all his baby photos are full of him smiling.

I thought this is all meant to start when they are teenagers ?

bruffin · 27/05/2011 19:28

I have the talking at 100 miles per hour type teen DD, I have to ask her to stop and slow down so I can actually understand what she is saying. I get a long stream of "she said that" "he did that " "it was really funny lol" and on an on and on.

DS has a very low voice and I do struggle to hear him sometimes, but the he does the "mum" "muuum" "mum" at the top of his voice to get my attention.

Mabelface · 27/05/2011 19:36

One of my 12 year old boys mumbles and we tell him to stop, start again but this time speaking in English. The other 12 year old boy speaks clearly. The 12 year old daughter will do the million miles an hour speech, especially on the phone, and that is usually several octaves higher. My 18 year old boy (man!) has always spoken well.

dementedma · 27/05/2011 19:55

one monosyllabic grunter DD and one million mile an hour gabbler DD. The young teen years are horrible, the older ones are actually quite fun when they turn into real humans.
I once did my usual rant at DD2 (should put it on tape), then, with my back to her said "and DON'T roll your eyes at me!"
To which she replied coolly, "I'm NOT rolling my eyes, I'm flaring my nostrils!"

Toomuchtea · 27/05/2011 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreBeta · 27/05/2011 22:38

Yes DS1 does that too. Round and round and back and forth never quite finishing or starting. Combined with mumbling it really is impossible at times.

Weirdly, I have found gently holding his hand helps him focus and calm himself enough to be able to speak clearly if it something really important to say.

It is much worse if he has had a complex or stressful day. I have heard that teenage children do have difficulties processing information because of all the hormonal changes. Speech is a very high level skill so there may well be good scientific reasons why this happens.

Get0rfM0iLand · 27/05/2011 23:01

"Weirdly, I have found gently holding his hand helps him focus and calm himself enough to be able to speak clearly if it something really important to say"

That brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful father you sound.

Teenagers are funny but your post speaks an essential truth, in that teens are at an incredibly difficult and confusing time of their lives. I hope that my daughter knows that I am there, and that I have always got her back.

MoreBeta · 27/05/2011 23:11

I am too often impatent with DSs - not wonderful. You are right though. I am sure that whatever our children do the most important thing to them is we are always there to back them up.

Get0rfM0iLand · 27/05/2011 23:14

I am also too impatient with dd - she could bore me to tears with her monologues on Paramore, cricket (why? why?) and Scrubs.

But I tell her every day (she probably rolls her eyes) how wonderful I think she is and how much I love her.

mathanxiety · 28/05/2011 00:22

The T-34 tank, the merits of various films on the Vietnam War, and 'Band of Brothers'....

To be fair, the T-34 is quite a tank.

FellatioNelson · 28/05/2011 07:45

MoreBeta - Getorf is right, that was a lovely thing to hear. Can you come round and hold my 16 year old's hand? Because when I hear him sounding like a chimpanzee with cotton wool in his mouth I mostly want to punch him. Grin

[bad mother emoticon]

Threadworm8 · 28/05/2011 07:48

That is very interesting, morebeta -- the difficulties processing information into speech. I think my 15yo has found that hard and still does. He finds it very difficult to separate the chief points from all of the unneccesary details, and will be quite halting and circling. I have to make quite a mental effort to be patient and let him tell me something in his own time. Especially since it is often about something quite remote and dull that he has read on the internet.

I think the selection of topics of conversation, too, is something that is quite confusing for him. A lot of conversation is just about 'being together' and I know that he is striving at that when he tells me immense details about a prison riot in Brazil or some such.

So interesting to hear from you of a possible hormonal basis for a neurological part in all this.

noddyholder · 28/05/2011 07:58

More beta I am going to try that it sounds like the RIGHT thing to do which is what I am striving for at the moment with ds.

alistron1 · 28/05/2011 08:57

DS1 mumbles, when he's not sounding like a gangsta. One morning he greeted me with 'Waasup Blud?'

DD2 talks non-stop and does all the 'like' stuff. Every afternoon she bursts through the front door shouting 'Oh my god, you'll never believe what happened today!!' and I'll be going 'oh my god, what is it? what is it?' and it will be something completely banal like someone losing their pen!!!

HSMM · 28/05/2011 09:02

Favourite conversation with my 11 yr old DD:

Take your hand away from your mouth and speak in WHOLE words!

randommoment · 28/05/2011 11:00

DD1, despite being told more times than I can remember, continues to stare in the other direction when I ask her if she's done her homework. I'm slightly deaf and definitely need to see the lips moving to get the sense of what's being said.

Original poster
inthesticks · 28/05/2011 11:19

I agree that it's often selective.
If we are having a family converation around the table on a subject that interests him he speaks normally.
The mumbling tends to peak when what I am saying doesn't interest him.

I have never, with either boy, had the flow of chatter that those of you with DDs describe. No idea what goes on at school or with their friends as they would never volunteer such stuff. I can only get bits and snippets of gossip information by a teeth pulling process of questioning.

OP posts:
MooMooFarm · 28/05/2011 11:26

Definitely selective here too - our TDS is witty, entertaining and completely lovely whenever his darling granny or aunties are around - and they think I'm utterly horrible for moaning about such a lovely boy Angry

Ooopsadaisy · 28/05/2011 11:29

DS is struggling to clean his room today. Apparently:

"It's like raining outside so I'm like really tired and I'm like drinking a cup of tea and then I've got to like do some like revision cos I've got a like GCSE after half term and it's like so gay that I have to spend all my like time doing gay stuff like GCSEs when it's like summer and then you like come in my room and like expect me to like keep it tidy when I've like got these like exam books everywhere cos all you people like expect me to like study and do well and like clean stuff at the same time and I'm like so stressed with it like I can't sleep for more than about 20 hours at a time and it's so likegay cos Barcelona are like playing Man U later and you still want my room like tidy before I can watch it and I'm likeso tired ... God, Mum, you are so like ... gay."

Or something like that.

MooMooFarm · 28/05/2011 11:32

Oops how did you get a whole sentence out of his without any 'lol's & 'rofl's? Envy

Ooopsadaisy · 28/05/2011 12:12

MooMooFarm - Grin just a whole lot of "like" and "gay" here.

Barcelona are going to play "well mint" later though which I think means that they will play rather good football.

DS has popped out and rumbled something that sounded like "seeyoula'eryeah".

Who's to know?

MooMooFarm · 28/05/2011 12:27

When DS watches something funny on tv, he doesn't use the traditional laughter noise to 'convey his amusement' - he just sits there with a miserable look on his face saying 'lolz' over and over...