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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Underage sex

3 replies

palmer57 · 19/05/2011 17:58

Apologies if this has been covered but I need some advice.
Ds is 17 and has a girlfriend who we were led to believe was 16. Been together for 8 months. When she first wanted to stay over we phoned the girlfriends mum to check what sleeping arrangements she would be happy with and she said it was fine to sleep together. This was some 4 months ago and they regularly stay here at weekends. Today, had a conversation with my DS re exams and it transpires that the girlfriend is only 15 and won't be 16 until October. I am so angry that my DS and his girlfriend have lied but I'm appalled at the mum for not telling us. Now what do we do? I can't just pretend we don't know and if we say they can't sleep here then they'll just go and sleep at her house. Where do we stand legally? and what shall I say to the other mum? I'm so bloody mad at her.

OP posts:
TheVisitor · 19/05/2011 18:00

I would tell your son he is breaking the law and could be arrested for sex with a minor. Sadly, I don't think you're going to be able to stop it, but you'd be within your rights to not let her sleep at your house.

palmer57 · 19/05/2011 18:13

Yes we are going to tell him that he's breaking the law and yes he'll probably just stay at her house. I'm so mad at the mum for not telling us, especially as we had the courtesy to phone her up and check the sleeping arrangements - what sort of mum says yes to her, only just 15 daughter, having sex, or am I just old fashioned?

OP posts:
StellaSays · 20/05/2011 19:52

The only problem I can see here is that your son may be at risk from prosecution if the girl decides to report after a breakup or something.

I started having sex age 14 and do not regret any of the sexual encounters I have had. I was lucky to have a mum who was happy to let me do my own thing as long as I discussed things with her and she knew I was safe. I would have having sex anyway without help if she had disapproved and would probably have been a lot worse off.

Teenagers will do these things and IMO the best way to deal with it is to accept that it happens and give them as much help and support to be safe and happy as possible.

TBH the other mother probably didn't tell you the girl was 15 because she didn't think it was an issue.

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