Teenage meltdowns in exams

[Deaddei]

dd is sitting yr 9 exams and is a bit stressed, partly through OCD.
Dh tried to help her with some maths tonight (big mistake) as dd gets stroppy, he tries to tell her his way of working out the answer which is not the 2011 way- cue lots of shouting on both sides.
I come home from a very long day to the fallout.
Dh has now gone to the pub. Dd gone to bed upset and still stroppy.
Oh god.
Tell me I'm not alone.

I was a disaster area in exams. Get the school to give max support. I was allowed to sit them in a room on me own (partly not to spread general hysteria to other gels).

You're not alone.

God, I used to end up crying when my dad tried to help me with my maths homework too. I think it's almost a mandatory part of growing up. My solution was to ask my mum to help me! Sometimes a different perspective and personality is the best thing.

I did get extra maths lessons (private through the school) at one point which helped.

I have vowed never to help her as we have almost come to blows in the past.......she has a maths tutor who is wonderful.
It's the treading on egg shells at the moment.....trying not to rock the boat to send her off on one.
Not a successful parenting evening.
Wish I had chocolate.

Urgh at maths-I feel for her,bless her.

Can you call her tutor and ask for advice on how to 'help'.

Her anxiety maybe 10 fold due to her ocd thoughts.

Can her teacher have a kindly chat with her?

DS (ocd sufferer) had some tests (yr4) last week and it came at a surprise so he wasn't able to fret and 'perfect' himself.

I get the meltdowns from him too so thoughts to you both.

Why are the school making a big deal about yr9 tests?

I'm crap at maths so don't even try to help ds. DH has a degree in maths but is banned from "helping" ds as it always ends in tears. Mine.

Is yr dd doing GCSEs mary?

I'm sure she'll be fine. Girls generally seem to work harder at revision than boys

If the OCD causes her extra anxiety and this affects her ability to concentrate, when it comes to public exams you can ask for extra time. DS1 suffers and with a doctors letter explaining the situation he gets extra time. The type of thing that slows him down is for example where he has to put a cross for multiple choice he will go over it 100 times in case it is in the wrong place or whatever. He finds it very difficult to leave a question and go onto the next and therefore ends up writing too much and not finishing.

However, that doesn't help anxiety before the exam. Just avoid any confrontation and try with the olf 'just do your best'!

2011 maths seems to be very different to when I did my O level some 20 years ago. it is tempting to want to help by showing them what we consider to be a much shorter and more logical way of working things out but inevitably it ends up with more confusion

Our primary and secondary both held meetings for parents to explain the modern methods of doing things and the secondary offers parents the chance to come in to the revision classes and go for the gcse 2011 style.

Meanwhile try this - maths help - its spared many a meltdown over the past few years

They do Maths in a completely different way from how we were taught. I know of a few friends' children whose Maths has been completely turned round (from bottom set to A* at GCSE in one case) by a tutor. It's not for everyone and, of course, it's costly, but it might be something worth looking into for some people.

Both of mine (17 and 15) have had meltdowns in the last week. I think it's very, very normal and thank God they can let their emotions out.

I think it would be far more concerning if they were keeping everything bottled up and were unable to wail noisily about the crap teacher / sob uncontrollably about the stupid exam board/ rage angrily about the maddening person behind them who sniffed and snorted and blew their snotty nose "ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE BLOODY EXAM MUM!"

So, no, Deaddei, you are certainly not alone. It's the same in every house at this time of year and - sorry to point out the bleeding obvious - but it's every year from now on.

Breathe deeply, dig deep and count to three, then agree with everything she says, agree that it's all awful and none of it's fair, tell her (shaking your head sadly) that you wish you could do these exams for her, let her whine on and on and get it all out of her system and then give her a hug and offer to run her a bath and give her a foot massage...

Then, much later, when you've left her much calmer... think "AAAAAAAHGGGGGGGG!!!!!" and pour yourself a large glass of .

Thanks for all your comments.
Last night she wafted round the house like a tragic heroine....bad science paper.
Tonight she has already flounced out once, and screamed, but has apologised.
It doesn't help that she is suffering from pmt.
I am out for drinks tonight....roll on 8pm.