Teenage boys fighting

[Bonsoir]

My DSSs (16 and 13) fight, physically, a lot at home and make a dreadful lot of noise doing so, trash the furniture in their bedroom in the process and also hurt one another.

DP says this is normal behaviour. I find it almost intolerable. Who is right?

Gosh - my ds's are little but I would not be able to cope with that and wouldn't tolerate furniture being trashed.

Am pretty sure DH never did that with his brother either.

Thanks for the moral support!

Any mothers of teens with another perspective?

Well I have 17yr and 14yr sons and they don't behave like that.

Well I have a 15 and 13 year old DS and I have to say if they COULD fight like that they probably would. Not because they hate each other. They just can't seem to help themselves.

They do it with their friends also - boys always seem to be piling on top of each other.

But I absolutely will not tolerate it in the house and they know I can't stand to see them hurting each other -even though they don't seem to mind the physical injuries.

They are both very sporty though, so if things are getting out of hand, the 13 year old goes outside and hits tennis balls and the 15 year old has a boxing punch bag he works out on.

Do your Dss do much sporting or physical activity? It might help them to leave each other alone!

My brothers did this a lot at those ages (they have a similar age gap). However, it was really mock fighting as they never seriously hurt each other and bore no grudges afterwards iyswim? I think it was hormones playing out...

Merrylegs - I absolutely agree with you that more sport would help but sadly, this being France, they have very long sport-free school days and when they get home (between 6 and 7) there isn't time for anything more than homework and dinner.

I threaten to withdraw food if they make too much noise/break too much furniture, and DP takes technology away if things get really out of hand (iPad/iPhone combo is most effective).

I fought with my brother all the time, rarely because we were angry with each other was just for fun really we grew out of it eventually.

Maryz - no way that they can have their own room - their room is huge, but there is only one of them! They each have their own bedroom at their mother's, not that that seems to stop them fighting.

I think the urge to fight is normal, but obviously not if it involves trashing furniture. My ds is an only but his best friend and he are both black belts and frequently (in fact they're there now) go into the woods at the end of our garden and have a good playfight.

Seems to do them good, DS is not aggressive with me or his dad but gets it all out either on the rugby pitch or at karate.

Bonsoir at 16 and 13 I could not have gone out and left my sons alone. DS1 would always instigate fighting which would invariably end up in tears for DS2. At this age they often have lots of physical agression and I agree sporting activities help. At 16, DS1 got a part time job and this helped him grow up massively, practically overnight infact. They are now 18 and 15 and for the most part get along much better (verbal arguing but no longer physical fighting).