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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How do I get my son back home and keep control?

7 replies

PenelopePitstopx · 20/04/2011 20:39

My son is 17, 18 in September. My work takes me away from home a fair bit and this year in particular I have left him home alone more and more. He has plenty of relatives close at hand should he need them (including my Mum and a much younger sister).

On returning from a trip over seas he asked to stay out for the next couple of days and since I new he was safe I agreed, however the house was a mess and I had to spend a lot of time generally trying to make the house half decent again. When he did return I asked him if he would mow the lawn, in exchange for the tidying I had to do. It is getting a bit out of control.

He agreed initially, but said he would do it the next day. The next day I had to go out and around 2ish in the afternoon he said he was about to make a start. There were a few things in the way of the mower and he started complaining about not being able to get to it an then said he thought there was a wasps nest in the garage (there isn't) and then said he should charge me £6 per hour and then said he had bad heyfever and had been stung.

I told him to grow up and stop being childish or he would be grounded. He decided to leave and not come back. This was 3 days ago. I spoke to him briefly yesterday and he said he left to 'give me some space' and that he was just wanting help. Today he has not answered any of my messages and has not come home. Now I'm more worried about his welfare, but assuming he is ok and is just out of battery with his phone, how do I move on from the situation with him? I started mowing the lawn myself today, although I'm no where near finishing.

Sorry if this was long winded but I'm really upset, he has never out and out defied me before. I don't think I have ever grounded him before. I just feel it's all gone way over the top and now I just want him safe.

OP posts:
Maryz · 20/04/2011 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenelopePitstopx · 20/04/2011 22:15

Thank you that is really good advice and I know I've done all the wrong things letting my emotions take over. I have now heard from him and know he is safe and he says he will be home tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully we can have a level headed chat then and I will try my best to keep my emotions at bay, listen and come up with a compromise.

OP posts:
Maryz · 20/04/2011 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gingeroots · 21/04/2011 09:30

Great post Maryz - think I might print it out for my future reference Smile

IloveJudgeJudy · 21/04/2011 15:01

Maryz, your posts always come across as so wise. How do you manage to be unemotional, please? That's the bit that I sometimes find hard, particularly with my DD 14. She knows exactly what buttons to press and have found myself, to my shame, in some shouting matches with her.

Any tips on keeping your cool welcome. Thanks.

gingeroots · 21/04/2011 19:15

One poster ( probably Maryz ) gave advice to listen to words your teen is speaking and to ignore their tone .
(it doesn't apply to mine - no nasty tone or shouting _ so don't know if it helps )

noddyholder · 21/04/2011 19:19

So he is on his own most of the time? Or just for days here and there?

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