should I go back to college as my children enter their teens?

[missismac]

Following on from the 'how hard are teens really' thread I'd like to canvas opinion about my current dilemma.

My eldest is 15, youngest 7. I'd like to apply to retrain at university (vocational course). It's a 3 year BSc. I'd be going (if I get a place - fingers crossed) in Sept 2012, Oldest will be 16 and starting final GCSE year, youngest 8. I'll also have a 15 year old & a 12 year old.

My question is; am I mad to do this now? It seems that they need the stability of someone at home more than ever during their teens. How will I cope with juggling their GCSE & A level needs alongside my coursework & exams. I won't get uni holidays, just 1 week at christmas, 1 at easter & 2 in the summer. I've waited 15 years to do this course and I am in my mid 40's so sort of feel it's now or never, but I feel a bit sick whenever I think about not being around for them. We have no family help at all & no useful single childless friends to take an interest either. DH works odd hours - often into the night. What am I doing?

On the other hand I don't want for them to grow up & leave home, leaving me with no career. I do have a brain & I'd really like to use it for some good. I'd like to have a career I can take pride in.

Aaaargh, how to do the best by everyone?

What to do, what to do?

definitely go for it! Can't believe the course is so full on tho - is it nursing or something? - but yes you can do it, it's a it like having a ft job isn't it? I have done a 2 year p/t course in really hard circumstances and just about managed it although had to have an extension once but you can do it. And you will find it so easy to help them ie motivate them for their exams if you are studying too - I have been able to with study skills at least.

You will have to be very organised and have huge family planner i think - can you afford any help eg cleaner, child care at all - that will really help if you can.
good luck!

Why will you not get Uni hols? I am contemplating studying full time once DS1 goes to secondary. I am having the same conversation with myself.

i am doing one day a week, would love to do full time, go for it

I'm jealous you've got a clue about what you want to do - I always said I'd re-train in something once my youngest was old enough. I just wish I could find the thing I really want to do.

I think that's half the battle, and it'd be shame not to at least give it a try. You could maybe think about getting or sharing an au pair/student for the summer hols.

Thanks for the positive 'go for it' messages guys. I was half expecting some flaming 'don't do it it will damage your kids forever' posts. I'm sure they'll come.

overthemill & queenbs - yes, it's Midwifery. At least I won't have to pay vast uni fees, but it'll be a bit tough in the school holidays not to mention it's not a great time to join the profession.

Am not sure whether we could afford any help. We've never managed to have any up to now & that's with me working a few days a week (from home) & DH working full time. It'll be quite a big income cut for us - we'll lose about 1/4 of our net monthly income. Maybe if I can work a couple of nights a week as well then we might be able to afford some help, but I don't really know if that will be possible?

Go for it.

I went to uni when DS2 was in year 7, it was the best thing I did for myself. I was in a similar position to you in that DH and I had no family support, but if you want it enough you will make it work. Get the DC's to take on a bit of extra responsibility round the house let some things go.

Fortunately I did a traditional uni course so plenty of holidays, but a friend managed her full time nursing course - single parent, 2DC's, 2 dogs, home owner so income also required. She was knackered at the end of the three years, but doesn't regret doing it.

Definitely go for it. You will be an excellent role model for your dc and it should bring you closer to them as you will all be studying at the same time. You will also have a greater understanding of their educational and study needs and so be able to give them better support in their exam preparation.

I think you will find your children will be immensely proud of you as well.

Yes you can do it. My DC?s were 15, 13 and 6 years old when I went to study very academic degree course. I?m single parent and have no family help at all. It won?t be easy but you get the respect from the teenagers, they will get motivated and you become their role model. Now My eldest is at Uni , my DD is doing A ? level. I ?m working full time and the quality of our life was never better. I just turn 40 and I feel life just started. So you can definitely do it and you don?t need to stay and wait for them to come home from school. it is a great way to get them do coursework or revision while you do your own.