My 19 year old is home for easter from uni and driving me mad. She's bright, bloody minded and won't be told anything. Currently she and unemployed boyfriend are asleep in her room (he's also bright and they've been seeing each other for 2 years). The kitchen is a tip because they left it that way. We just managed to avoid an all out row yesterday because she's not yet applied for any summer jobs. I can't face a summer of this; little if any contribution to running of house, sleeping all day with unemployed boyfriend, not cleaning up after themselves. I'm working full time, home based office and don't know what to do. I've tried everything I can think of. Rational, calm conversation with one and both of them, asking them about whether they're behaving as adults (they agreed they weren't and discussed what they would need to do to make that happen but nothing has changed). Have asked them how they think I feel about this and impact on me. They give good responses but nothing changes. I've tried throwing a tantrum and telling them I am not a hotel. Doesn't work. Tried setting rules and boundaries. Doesn't work. I don't want to force my daughter to leave home or destroy our relationship but really, this is seriously affecting me and I am at my wits ends. Her BFs dad's house is not an option with two younger siblings both learning disabled and he doesn't set any boundaries for his son, whereas my daughter is at least trained to cook and look after herself. She does that really well at uni but doesn't respect my boundaries when home with me. Her dad's place is not an option either. I just don't know what else to try. All suggestions welcome.