Is it too early to start the annual Prom Angst?

[mumblechum1]

Do your yr11 dcs all go in couples, ie ask a date even if they're not going out with anyone?

Ds has bottled out of asking anyone and now all his girl mates are taken. He reckons he can just go alone and there will be a few who aren't in couples.

I'm not convinced and reckon he should get his ass on FB and find someone.

What do yours do?

DD3 is 19 so a few years since her year 11 prom. But when she did go some of the year 11's went in couples but most of them went alone or in groups dropped off by parents.

It's a mates thing. I hate the American idea of it being a couples thing - nice for those who are in a relationship but hell for those who are not.
Treat it like any other night out with his mates.

At both DDs year 11 proms, the vast majority went as big groups of friends, with a few couples/dates in among the group. Having said that, these things can vary greatly but as your DS seems to think it'll be fine, I wouldn't worry about it. He must know from general chat at school what people are planning to do... wouldn't have thought many yr11 lads would deliberately not try and fit in!

I'd be slightly careful with the whole prom etiquette thing because "the done thing" varies ENORMOUSLY from school to school. Not just in terms of "going with a date" (not the done thing at our school - thet go as a crowd) but also the outfits (short at our school but full on Big Fat Gypsy Wedding at some) and transport (get dropped off by Mum or Dad at our school but at other schools it's all about turning up in a tractor/ fire engine/ whatever).

He'll know what's the best thing to do. Let him choose what to do about asking a girl - support him, but don't push him into anything.

My ds went with a group of mates

most of his year just went with their mates

When it comes to my younger DDs turn though, more important (here, at any rate) might be what her pre- and post- plans are... As I say, I think that "the norm" varies greatly from one place/ school to another.

A friend of my older DD had a pre-prom drinks party for their lot with all the parents. It was lovely to see them all dressed up and looking so gorgeous and grown up. Great photos of them all and a lovely way to have a catch up with the other Mums and Dads after GCSEs and before the summer. I heard of various other similar pre-prom get togethers.

There were various sleep-overs after the prom too - my DD had a few girlfriends back and it was lovely to hear all their happy chatter over toast at the kitchen table after the prom.

Has your son mentioned anything? Would he have some friends back after the prom, maybe? I'll certainly suggest to my younger DD that we have a little crowd back after her prom.

Wish we'd had half as many nice things going on, eh?!

At DSs school they ae holding a "prom show" before the prom so you can get ripped off buy all the possible extras you might need

I was so shocked, Am I alone in thinking this is becoming far too commercial for what is basically an end of year party???

What extras, Frumpy?

Are you all buying the outfits ( dress/suit ) or are you making your dd buy their own? I feel guilty that I have said that she has to buy her own - maybe I could give something towards it - She has more money than me though to be honest.

And considering the school have already asked for £21 - yearbook, £21 for hoodie with the years names on the back, £30 for a day out at Thorpe park...

Cyrisneer c&p'd from the school website:-

The event will involve local companies offering everything you need for your Prom:
· Hair Up Specialists
· Make Up Artists
· Beauty Treatments
· Nails and Lashes
· Prom Dresses
· Florists for Corsages
· Transport Ideas
· Jewellery and Accessories
. Menswear to Hire or Buy
Many items will be available to purchase on the night along with many companies offering show exclusive prices.

Thank god I have a boy. Will be checking whether he can get into his dads tux, if not hiring.

Frumpyinthefrost - Your school sounds my dd sort of heaven , my sort of hell... That should not be allowed...it makes me so angry

It yet again puts pressure on parents to spend money that they have not got ! Ahhhhhh

lsm Look at frumpy's list of extras. It's scary. Don't offer to buy anything. If you want, offer a set sum of money and then what she decides to do with it is up to her. Otherwise it is always I need a dress, I need a hair-do, I need a limo, I need, I need, I need ...

Don't get sucked in. Offer a finite amount of money and that's it. It's amazing how frugal they can be or how things are no longer a must-have when it's their money they are spending.

My DD went with friends to her prom last year. There were groups of friends and couples. The photographer spent all night taking photographs - singles/couples/groups. My DD had a couple taken with her boyfriend and a couple taken with her closest friends. On balance there were probably more friends than couples.

We bought her dress and paid for her hair do and then she paid for her shoes, bag and jewellery.

Lawstudentmum - we bought her dress from an ebay shop for just less than £100. Fantastic dress with really quick delivery. She looked stunning (boastful mum!) and there was no one wearing the same dress - something all the girls seem to stress about.

OMG - the not wearing the same dress thing!!!

Yeah, I have told her to look at e bay. She has been talking about fake tan, hair...so maybe your right and give her a amount of cash and then when it has gone it gone !!

My God!

Look at that list!

Here's what we did with/ for my DD last summer.

I bought her a sweet, short dress from ASOS (£40 ish) which she has been able to wear again.

Ditto a pair of strappy high heels (£20) and a little clutch (£10) from New Look.

She needed her hair doing around that time anyway, so we made the appointment with our regular hairdresser for that afternoon so her hair was blow-dried nicely (it was just long and loose with waves)

We then went to our local department store where she had a ("free") make-over pre-booked with the Chanel lady who did her make-up beautifully. She then bought the lip-gloss that the lady used (with some birthday money - special treat).

As concerns beauty treatments - they day before, I did her a manicure and pedicure at home and we went halves on a professional spray tan (£18, so £9 each).

She wore some ear-rings that she already had, from Top Shop.

Lucky for us, it's deeply uncool at our school to arrive in any sort of show-y vehicle so she and her friends were just dropped off by their Mums and Dads.

Similarly, corsages are not the done thing here.

I'm happy with all of this, to be honest. She's a good girl, worked really, really hard for her GCSEs and was leaving to go to another school for sixth form so this prom was the end of an era for her. We have some gorgeous photos of her and her friends looking very beautiful and the whole thing is now a very lovely memory.

We'll do the same all over again next year for my younger daughter - by which time the older one will be having the older one's Sixth Form Leavers Ball.

... and on it goes!

Re: The dreaded "same dress" anxiety: My daughter and her friends all took a photo of "their" dress (just hanging up) absolutely as soon as they had bought it - and posted it (or a link to a picture on the shop's website) on Facebook saying "My prom dress - please don't anyone else buy it!" or whatever. This clearly "baggsy-ed" it as you can see who bought what first, because it's all documented by date.