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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Help needed wrt ds1 , sexuality, facebook and secrets

2 replies

belcantwait · 04/04/2011 15:46

Ds1 is 12 ( so yeah I know not technically a teenager but you know!!).
For manymany years dh and I have been as certain as one can be that he is gay. We have always thought it in fact. Couldn't really tell you why but just do.
Anyway he has joined up on facebook , we thought he was a bit young but his privacy settings are all fine, dh 'friended' him to see what he was up to and all was fine. Ds then defriended him last week as he found it embarrassing having his dad on there !! Anyway so I said he either has to put dh back on or give me his account log on which he did and had no problem with.

So obviously I look at it, have it on my bookmark folder, check it regularly etc etc. I know that he has been friendly with a girl from church who is 14 and they meet up most Saturday's in town. It all seems very innocent, she is quiet butquirky kind of a girl version of ds in fact Grin

Anyway now I find thru his msg inbox(I know I know I shouldn't have looked but he's at that secretive pubescent stage) that he has been 'seeing' a girl who afaics is a friend of this othergirl. Then sheseems to break up withhim. He is ok with this but replies he still loves her.Confused
today I discover a msg from her to him saying she made a mistake and wants him back but xxxx said he was gay and was it true??!!

So now I don't know how to handle it, he is very you g for allthis talk tho he is physicallyvery mature and def seems to be discovering his sexuality atm. I don't really wanthim to know I have been reading his msgs but am worried he is keeping stuff from us and also I want him to know that whatever his sexuality we will love and support him. Just no experience of any of this and need advice!
Sorry got todash out to take dc to dentistnow but will check back later

Tia xxx

OP posts:
TheVisitor · 04/04/2011 15:49

He's only 12 and you're checking his inbox for inappropriate content. I think that if he's comfortable discussing other stuff with you, deal with it as and when, rather than bringing up the fact that he might be gay.

purepurple · 04/04/2011 15:51

A hard one, but you have answered your own questions really. You can't let him know that you have been reading his messages-it will destroy your relationship just at the crucial stage where he needs space and support. It's a tricky one, but I think you need to say nothing, but be there ready to support him when he feels able to come to you.
It means he is growing up. he won't want to share everything with his parents, and you really shouldn't expect him to.

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