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Original poster

Help needed 10 13yr old girls sleeping over for DD's Birthday

33 replies

Trifle66 · 03/04/2011 21:13

For my DD's Birthday she is having 9 of her friends from school for her first real sleepover experience. I am a little worried it will all end in tears. Id appreciate any tips for a smooth night - I'm not expecting much sleeping! - to complicate things a little I teach in the school they all attend! plus I'm a lone parent so I will be the only adult. She plans to make the party into a movie marathon - back to back movies with cinema themed snacks.

OP posts:
ilovesprouts · 03/04/2011 21:17

poor you ,you will never have another oneGrin

PositiveAttitude · 03/04/2011 21:27

Oh my goodness!! I consider myself to be fairly laid back and have had loads of sleepover parties for all of my 5DC, but 10 13yr old girls would be one huge step too far for me!!!

They will get bored with the movies.
They will get giggly.
They will want lots of junkie food that will then send them even more giggly and hyper.
Drink will get spilt.
Food will get spilt and then all trodden into the carpet together.
One will be all hormonal sensitive and will say the others are leaving her out.
They will argue,
YES expect tears - theirs and yours!!

I would leave the country now. Pretend invitations were a joke, a mistake, a moment of insanity - no you don't need to pretend that one!!

Sorry not to be more encouraging!!

luluzulu · 03/04/2011 21:55

oh my god good luck! 10 thirteen yr old GIRLS! expect tears! ...... i would feign illness if i were you lol x

theresapotatoundermysink · 03/04/2011 21:58

OH EM GEE.

I don't know what to say...other than good luck.

Hide in your room for the night? Hire Justin Bieber? Ask a friend over for moral support?

Jemma1111 · 03/04/2011 21:59

I would get them a very big tent and let them stay in the garden! Grin

hocuspontas · 03/04/2011 22:04

You know you should start with 1 and build up to 9 don't you?

Good luck!

posey · 03/04/2011 22:06

Dd and her friends all do these mammouth sleepovers for birthdays. I use the term sleepover loosely Grin
Set some rules beforehand.
eg loud music up to certain time, not allowed in garden after x o'clock...
Where are they sleeping? Dd's lot always take over the front room, they pile in with sleeping bags, watch films, chat, giggle etc. Parents usually bale out and hit the sack around 1pm (having kept a low profile but been around-ish)
Any excessive noise not acceptable!
Sometimes they get a bit of sleep as dawn is breaking.
Mother provides croissants and juice for breakfast and hopes they all go by around midday.

GetOrfMoiLand · 03/04/2011 22:08

Christ - tbh that is FAR too many.

there willl be rows aplenty.

The max I have had at a sleepover was 4, and that was bad enough.

There is a high likelihood that at least one of the girls will have a fit of the vapours in the middle of the night and will want to go home - if her parents are unable to pick her up, you will have to drop her back, and what then will you do with the other 9 girls? You can't really leave them on their own late at night. Don't mean to scaremonger, but the more girls you have stay, the likelihood of arguments and tears increases exponentially.

I will think very seriously about cutting the numbers - have them all come for tea, but only 3 or 4 sleep.

posey · 03/04/2011 22:08

That, of course, should be 1am

NorksAreMessy · 03/04/2011 22:09

You are a lovely mummy to try and make this precious memory for your DD, but I am amazed that you would attempt it. Practical solutions include giving them some activity to do ( jewellery making? Makeover?) that will absorb them for a while. And then to invest in earplugs and wine so that you can zone out. You have my sympathy and my best wishes.

Pterosaur · 03/04/2011 22:10

I've had some tedious sleepovers, but for DD's 13th we had 4 friends over. We went out for pizza, came home, they watched several episodes of Gavin & Stacey on dvd, then tucked themselves up to sleep just before midnight. Woke up about 8.

It was a bit weird, but I thought you might appreciate a positive experience.

Good luck.

Shock
UnquietDad · 03/04/2011 22:12

It will sound like 50 girls. You will be driven insane.

Someone will have a strop/ be sick/ get upset and need to be taken home/collected.

This is all based on my experience of sleepovers in our house with 10-year-olds. I can only imagine 13-year-olds are like this, but with crazier music, hormones and more swearing.

BrigitBigKnickers · 03/04/2011 22:15

Good God woman! Are you mad?

Ten 13 year olds?

All in the same place?

All night?

You will need lots of Wine

DoubleDegreeStudent · 03/04/2011 22:23

I'd buy stacks of trashy celebrity gossip magazines/style ones (lots of pictures, not many words) - gets lots of the bitchy-ness out on harmless targets ("look at those BOOTS on insert latest celebrity here" rather than "what the hell did you wear to school yesterday? you looked like a parrot"). Plus it gives them something to flick through if they are feeling a bit left out.

Make sure there's a mirror within reach and leave them with hair brushes/curlers/straighteners and some cheap brightly coloured nail varnishes - they have to be relatively still if they're straightening hair and waiting for nails to dry!

DoubleDegreeStudent · 03/04/2011 22:50

Sorry, that wasn't meant to be in bold!

beachyhead · 03/04/2011 22:56

It will be fine - we had 8 13 year olds last birthday. They ran around the garden and house playing hide and seek - weirdly - we had a bonfire and they did marshmellows. They had pizza for tea then a dvd downstairs, then upstairs, where they did magazines and music till 11pm. They then seemed to do some fashion show with a lot of dressing up, but we told them to shut up about 1pm and they did.......

galletti · 03/04/2011 22:57

I like DDS's idea about mags and hair/nail stuff, and also get dd to plan the movies in advance and have them all ready to go. Straight into pyjamas (which will all probably be new for the occasion), lots of blankets, hot chocolates with mallows etc, and hopefully they will all get really sleepy really quickly! Where are they all going to sleep?

onepieceoflollipop · 03/04/2011 23:03

I'm not sure that I would be happy with one adult and 10 girls, just because there is no back up if anything goes slightly wrong.

As others have said this could just be one of them being upset and demanding to go home. If they are eating lots of treat food/fizzy drink one or more of them may get sick. Also if they are overexcited and have access to stuff like hair straighteners then there is potential for accidents.

Could you do a deal with your dd, let her have two sleepovers, but just 3-4 friends at each?

Joking apart re the Wine, in your position I would have just one glass or even none. If another parents has to be called upon to help out in the middle of the night, you are the supervising adult and it may look very Hmm
Also you may want a clear head if you are mediating in arguments or just trying to settle things down a bit.

RubyFakeNails · 04/04/2011 13:35

I don't think this will be as bad as everyone is making out for years DD and DS have been having sleepovers often larger than this and there are occasional hiccups but nothing too horrifying. My main tips are as follows:

  1. Don't ration the food this will look mean and stingy but strategically plan it. Now they are older I let them get on with it but I used to offer the fizzies when they first arrived and slowly start to 'run out' so they had to have juice or squash which stopped them being mental all night. PLus just some crisps and dips then I'd order pizza this normally took about 2 hours by the time it was chosen and delivered. wait a while they will all stuff themselves silly then bring out the sweets etc. You said movie themed os maybe offer popcorn wait until one film is over then offer sweets. LAST thing you want is sick, they all start saying they feel ill after that happens.
  1. If you are going to be on your own just mention to the other parents you wont be able to drive anyone home so if there DD is likely to be one of those girls they'll need to be on standby.
  1. If you have a garden, use it! Hide the next dvd they are going to watch or suggest an impromptu game of something. Mine always would end up on the trampoline which considering what they had eaten went surprisingly well. Great for burning of some energy and stopping things getting to stuffy and bitchy.
  1. Definitely get the game Twister, or if you have a wii, the dancing and singing games are great. Twister can also be played in the garden but I found the smaller the space we crammed them into the more fun they had with it.
  1. Be prepared to be the joke. They'll probably giggle about something you do, DD may even show off. DH and I volunteered to be 'made over' many a time and was always funny.

Think that magazines and make-up etc are a good idea, have tried making things in the past but its always messy and that makes you feel fed-up and less tolerant. They may be rows, there may be tears but just give them a hug and remind them how much more boring it will be at home.

jellybeans · 04/04/2011 14:03

wow. I know a couple of people who did it and got no sleep and have never done it again! Someone always gets hyper, someone always falls out etc. Max I have had is 3 friends and don't ever want to go beyond that! Good luck!

mumeeee · 04/04/2011 19:42

We never had more than 3 girls slleeping over at any one time. 10 is far to many.

gorionine · 04/04/2011 19:55

DDis a bit younger (12), but she went to a sleep over a few weeks back, 6 girls + birthday girl. Evening started by a pizza (out). When they came back they played party games on the wii, opened the presents and then just chatted until about 3am. The Mum had managd to get all of them to sleep on the livingroom floor. They had a fab time and when we went to pick Dd up in the morning, the mum was still alive and did not look too shatterd (although she was a bit worried parents would be annoyed at the girls staying up so late, I reassured her that I did not think they would sleep much and probably nor did the other parents). I suppose it depends a lot on the girls that are coming, do you know them?

A while back, Dd invited the same 6 friends + another 3 for a cooking party at where they did, with my and DH's help, cook their own 3 course meal and then had the meal together. Girls at ours from 1pm to 7pm and they were absolutely brilliant. If i had the space I would have no problem having them all overnight, really!

It might very well be a bit tiring for you but I am sure they will all have a great time!

cyrilsneer · 04/04/2011 20:20

Bags of comments here already but just wanted to suggest that you DON'T get them started with home manicures... You don't want "Rouge Noir or "Sparkle Princess" or whatever is the thirteen year olds' polish of choice these days all over your sofa and carpets.

Hope it goes well Smile.

Original poster
Trifle66 · 04/04/2011 23:09

OMG i'm terrified now!! lol I was worried I'll be too bossy and teachery but it looks like I might have to go there for everyones sanity. thanks for the tips - I'll make lights out at 1pm and put my ear plugs in! I'm going to get my sister to help out too, so at least i wont feel too out numbered. I do know the girls and teach a few of them and they all seem nice. It maybe the first and last !

OP posts:
DoubleDegreeStudent · 05/04/2011 17:07

It's also highly likely that they will a) try and tell you all the gossip about other pupils in your school (which you probably already know) in exchange for part b) trying to get you to share all the gossip about other pupils and teachers that they don't know.

We used to do it the whole time with my friend's mum who was a teacher. We were always SO disappointed when she knew the ending before we finished the story, so feign innocence - might make their evening!!