bbc breakfast - queen bee discussion

[JuicyLucy10]

Did anyone see this today?

It was saying there seems to be a real problem amongst 10 - 14 yr old girls with the whole 'group' friendship thing. I have been watching this for years but everything they said i realised its quite a nasty common problem. Its about time the teachers recognised it.

i didnt see it but my poor daughters been on recieving end of the bitchy behaviour amongst girls at school, there is one girl atm who was walking home with my DD,s BF and her best friend , she came home by car this day and she said nasty things about my DS whos ASD saying he and anyone else going to his special schools a retard, well my daughters bf and best friend told her and she came home upset so i wrote complaining to the HT he got the girl in and told her it wasnt nice and he was disapointed, she had gaul to say she was hurt they had betrayed her(shes always tying to be big I am and bitchy) she next day started rumors about my daughter and lied telling people she was bulling her(she hadnt spoken to her anymore) the weekend she was cyber bulling her, now shes turned a couple of mates against my DD all because i complained my DD was nothing to do with it the HT passed it over to the behaviour team who dragged them all in and made it worse , i dont know wether to contact the HT again or not i dont want to stir things ferther but its awful isnt it all this nasty things shes saying one reasons i complained is i feel disability discriminations as bad a race discrimination and i was ofended but i didnt realise she would ignore the HT and start a vendetta i feel so guilty now but i was trying to protect/speak for people like my DS who cant do it for himself , what made it worse was she saidthe remark , laughed and said it doesnt matter (X) cant hear me

It is awful and you have my full sympathy. There does seem to be a huge number of girls groups where there are 1 or 2 leaders of the pack and are able to turn the others on or off people. The other kids fall into line as they don't want to be outcast ...

Its really tricky knowing how to handle it. My dd has just moved secondary school because it was getting completely out of hand with the last two weeks of that school being totally isolated. My younger dd looked out for her as the school did nothing.

I was concerned it WAS my daughter having problems but now she is at a completely different school she has fitted in well and does have people around her she socialises well with.

The new school she goes to has many lunch time clubs plus the lunch hour is half the time which means far less time on their hands if things are going wrong...The new school seems to have thought this through more.

I have also made the observation that the bitchy bullying behaviour was in a country school but the children in the town school seem far more accepting of the kids being their own person and not 'the same as everyone else'. I think this must be because they mix with a wider range of people.

I think every teacher should read the 'Queen Bee' book. In fact I read out parts to my DD's and we had some really interesting conversations about my school life and theirs. Things have happened to them where they have used strategies to deal with them that we talked about from the book. I have daughters but do boys have the same issues?

no ive two boys its not same at all boys tend to argue and go on xbox or ps2 with the same lad when they get home or into school next day and begin chatting again as if nothing ever happend they dont hold a grudge, but the girls get nasty vicious and turn other friends against you for no apparent reason sometimes or just over a minor row one even started a burns book about my daughter thats a book with lies and slander ect in and then pass it round the school and use their phones and the internet to cyber bully other girls its quite frightening what they get up to luckily my ds has a lovely group of friends now but she has had problems with a girl atm at school were trying to ignore her

I didn't see this on BBC Breakfast but I certainly recognise the situations people are describing. My own DD has definitely been a victim of this at her primary school although she's got a lovely new group of friends since starting Year 7. Please tell me - what's the 'queen bee' book? I'd love to read it!

me too - i also recognise this in a person i work with - everyone she works with feels very threatened to the extent of having to fall in line with her and she is just really nasty and unbearable.

It's this one Queen Bees. The movie Mean girls was based on it I believe. The burn book appears it that too. What a horrible thing to do to someone.

in not it

now that book looks exactly like what we have been going through. I;m off to go get it!

just for information this book is available on ebay for 99p second hand!!

Thanks, Buddhastic - I'll definitely read this. One question, though, is this really a new problem? I'm sure I remember 'Queen Bees' at my own girls' school when I was a teenager. Haven't bitchy girls been around for years?

I agree it's an age old problem. The extra difficulty nowadays is the lack of escape from an issue at school as there is almost constant contact with facebook and mobiles etc. I am about to deactivate facebook for my kids I think it's vile and such a dangerous tool in the hands of hormonal young teenagers.

I was bullied out of school by some queen bees (20 years ago). They get away with it because they are good in class and don't use violence.