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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Anyone else find it hard to like their teen?

50 replies

asdx2 · 22/03/2011 20:48

Some days I really don't like dd 17 On paper she is a doddle polite, well behaved, doing well in sixth form, no worries about drugs, alcohol or boys.I really should count my blessings I suppose but she has got an attitude that the world owes her and it drives me potty. I find myself giving her a wide berth just because I don't find it easy spending time with her.I'm pretty sure I irritate her too as I sense her heckles rise when our paths cross. Any tips on how to improve things? The close mother/daughter relationship I hoped for isn't there and I have that sort of relationship with her brother 22 instead.

OP posts:

TheSecondComing · 27/03/2011 21:40

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NotaMopsa · 27/03/2011 21:45

I need to thank heavens for small mercies that dd does not blog
Lord knows what she would come up with!

The beastie boys seem about right though for teen idol - I keep hoping for something more inspirational or at least ethereal but that sounds about right

TheSecondComing · 27/03/2011 21:49

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NotaMopsa · 27/03/2011 21:55

dd told us we didn't let her 'go to her friends after school' last night cue me looking baffled and sounding much like Manuel 'que?" since WHEN did she ask??? 'That would be lovely darling - every night please!!!'

TeenageWildlife · 27/03/2011 22:14

It's going to get better. My DD is 18 and has been at Uni for 5 months. When she comes back I have noticed that she has become really appreciative of me really thoughtful, helpful, just a totally charming creature.

At 14 there were days I would have happily given her back to the stork wot brought her......

So there is hope. She's back on Friday and I am really looking forward to it - even though I know the bombsite that will inevitably arrive with her.

The thought that she'll soon be gone might help?!

TheSecondComing · 27/03/2011 22:49

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nickschick · 27/03/2011 23:10

My ds2 says apparently I prefer ds1 and 3 have always neglected him and do nothing for him ......ds1 and 3 say ds2 gets all the attention and 'stuff' ........so I just say 'shout louder'.....makes me a bit sad though I dread to think what any blog he wrote would be like ......although when ds1 said he was going away to uni about 10 local teens had a waiting list for his bed.

TheSecondComing · 27/03/2011 23:13

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nickschick · 27/03/2011 23:28

I like the one whos not moaning/arguing/fighting best of all.

It is absolute shit for sure..

I had war with school again this week rollocked everyone argued with people and still I dont care about him .

TheSecondComing · 27/03/2011 23:34

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nickschick · 27/03/2011 23:36

Hmmmm I think a biters easier to cope with than a moaner .

Ds1 & 2 say ds3 gets away with stuff they didnt - that is because those 2 wore me down so now i just cant be arsed I think if its not bleeding/broken or requiring emergency services it will be fine.

ajandjjmum · 27/03/2011 23:36

So mine isn't the only 17 year old DD causing family war then....................

TheSecondComing · 27/03/2011 23:38

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nickschick · 27/03/2011 23:40

Hmmmm its baby no3 youre nipples should be rock hard anyway .

but .....ouch ouch ouch you are one dedicated mummy.

VoldemortsNipple · 27/03/2011 23:45

I feel like my teenage sister has come back to haunt me with DD. (apart from climbing out the bedroom windowand going missing for half the night) This week she has lost DS2s iPod in the -slum- bedroom she inhabits. Also my phone disappered dor 4 days until I told her I will have to cancel it. My kindle has also disappeared.

She asked to go to London with school which cost a small fortune. I agreed she could go if she earned the money. I could count on two hand the amount of times she has done a bit of housework in 3 months, but she told me I will have to get her new clothes for the trip!

TheSecondComing · 27/03/2011 23:48

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alemci · 28/03/2011 12:05

yes second coming. I am sad about it. I don't want to be her best friend but I hate the way she never brings him round anymore. I just like to know what is going on. I don't want a blow by blow account of their relationship but she doesn't get it.

I think the BF thing has raised alot of my own insecurities from when I was a teen. I can't seem to help myself but I try not to ask anything. Her room is a tip right now and I want to go in and clean it but it is not appreciated.

I keep telling myself that it will get better in a few years and she will appreciate me. we don't have major rows but she just hurts me so much with her attitude.

TheSecondComing · 28/03/2011 12:16

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upahill · 28/03/2011 12:26

My son is nearly 15 and the only thing we have argued about is school work (hmmmm see my post on 'Do you give pocket money for housework thread?, mine won't be a popular view!!)

Sure he gets moody but he has his mates round and I know them and their parents.
He has his hobbies, does Dof E and has a part time job after school so I know where he is.

Him and his mates come walking and cycling with me and his dad in the lakes.
We chat, we eat out together, we go to the ice hockey together, we watch tv and laugh at the same things Mrs Brown anyone?!!.
He still kisses me (on top of the head now he is 6 foot!)
He introduces me to new music, I have just discovered Devlin! I introduce him to old music.

I ask him to do housework, he rolls his eyes and makes sure his brother has the same amount of housework - I hate the point scoring!
I love this stage

upahill · 28/03/2011 12:27

However I know I am not stupid enough to think that this (my last post) can't change and it can be a different story next week, next month whenever. I am enjoying it now and have MN ready for when it comes crashing down!

alemci · 28/03/2011 13:23

my ds is 13 and he is ok too. my other dd is 15 and she is quite reasonable as well. it is just my ED who winds me up so much.

NotaMopsa · 28/03/2011 17:16

Alemci I really empathise . My eldest dc is 18 and a DREAM. we are close he is sweet respectful independent yet really loving to all his siblings. Makes me even more confused about dd. Ds2 is a little more trying but still NOTHING like dd . She is so overtly rude etc it worries me the impact on the others. She is obviously v hard work and disruptive at school

follyfoot · 28/03/2011 21:38

Pours a glass of and passes bottle round. It really is shit sometimes isnt it. My DD and I had fallen out within 20 seconds of her getting in the car tonight

A record, even for us....

seeker · 28/03/2011 21:41

I absolutely adore mine

TheSecondComing · 28/03/2011 21:45

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