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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Was this a really odd thing to do? (condoms and 17yo)

26 replies

sunnydelight · 21/03/2011 04:08

I just need a sanity check really, and what better place then MN!

DS1 is nearly 18 and has been going out with his girlfriend for 2 1/2 years now. She was 17 in January. I know that they have been in a sexual relationship for around six months and GF tells me that her parents are ok with it. So, out shopping with DS1 on Saturday we were talking about pocket money etc. (he's in his final year of school here in Oz so I don't want him getting a p/t job) and I asked him if he had enough money to buy condoms. He said he was nearly out so I gave him the money to get some more. He commented "this is a bit weird" but went off cheerfully, bought them, and we carried on shopping and had lunch together.

So - was that a really strange thing to do? Should I have just slipped him some cash at some point and told him to buy "something for the weekend"?, or just not said anything? DS1 and I have a really good relationship even though I'm probably a bit controlling (I still insist on reasonable bedtime on school nights etc.), I am not trying to me his mate, it just occurred to me at that point that he might need condoms so I made sure he had some.

OP posts:
OnEdge · 21/03/2011 04:20

As the mother of a daughter, I think it is brilliant. He probably said it because he was acknowledging an awkward moment.

ninedragons · 21/03/2011 04:26

I think you handled it perfectly.

Muttering about "something for the weekend" would just be weird and repressive.

CheerfulYank · 21/03/2011 04:33

It's a bit strange to me because my ds is not quite 4 and the thought of buying him condoms makes me go wobbly!

But overall I think it was the responsible thing to do, yes. :)

nooka · 21/03/2011 06:08

Sounds like you have the sort of relationship where that's fine, and good for you too. Probably about right for your ds to think it a bit weird, but no big deal. I'd like to be able to say the same sort of thing to my ds when he is at that age/stage (he's 11 right now and only just starting to be interested in girls).

nooka · 21/03/2011 06:10

Hmm - that might not read quite right, I meant for your son to feel slightly odd that you should be giving him some money for condos sounds normal, and for the two of you to move on with no bother or issues is as it should be.

FreudianSlippery · 21/03/2011 07:06

Sounds fab to me :)

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 21/03/2011 07:13

MY DS (also 18) would be exactly the same.. probably make a joke about it but actually be quite grateful!! I KNOW my eldest teens are in sexual relationships now and they know I know and support a safe sex relationship so it's a fact of life.. condoms necessary!:)

ChishAndFips · 21/03/2011 12:31

Sounds like you and he are just being sensible about it. I have teenage DDs and went with them to get the Pill, same situation as encouraging him to buy condoms IMO.

MADABOUTTHEBOY2000 · 21/03/2011 12:54

its GREAT you have such an open friendly relationship and felt it ok to do that id have done the same thing and he probably as prev posters said said its a bit weird as slightly embarassed but its so good to hear good parenting stories Smile

muddyangels123 · 21/03/2011 13:01

When DS1 left home to go to uni. i filled up a box full of them to last him a while.Blush
We also have a great open relationship and speak on the phone at least 3 times a week.

I also tell both DS that it takes two & to be responsible for their own actions because nobody else will be. Safe sex or otherwise.

I think you are being a caring mum.

cyrilsneer · 21/03/2011 14:25

Well done you, what a sensible and caring Mum.

BornAgainDomesticGoddess · 21/03/2011 14:27

Ah, what a lovely mum you are Smile. No, it's not strange at all.

Firebird20 · 21/03/2011 18:20

Don't know if it is the same in Oz as here (NZ) but here you can get a prescription from Family Planning for 144 Condoms for $3, bargain! o:

Firebird20 · 21/03/2011 18:21

Why didn't my smiley work :(

ChishAndFips · 21/03/2011 21:18

Firebird, you can get as many as you want completely free in the UK from the GP's surgery, and they are proper Durex ones too (or so DD tells me!). I remember when they used to be Jiffys!

ChishAndFips · 21/03/2011 21:19

Ok I have just seen why you were saying that Firebird, didn't read OP properly...ignore me! Blush

Original poster
sunnydelight · 22/03/2011 04:30

Sorry, wandered off yesterday and just came back on now. thanks all for the reassurance - you know when you have those "did I do the right thing" moments.

Must check that out Firebird - that really is a bargain!

OP posts:
nottirednow · 22/03/2011 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JuicyLucy10 · 23/03/2011 11:08

I think thats what i will be doing plus maybe some leaflets about family planning when the time comes - I would hate for my dd to feel too awkward to go and get things, we try and be open as much as possible with her. Less likely to be having accidents. I do worry that it might be seen as encouraging promiscuous behaviour but better to be open and up front.

Liquidpea · 24/03/2011 23:57

My parents put an ice cream tub in a cupboard & kept it topped up with condoms for me & my three brothers.

supersalstrawberry · 25/03/2011 00:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 25/03/2011 00:02

At 17 if you'd have said "something for the weekend" I'd have assumed you meant alcohol Blush

It sounds like you have a great relationship with your son :)

Tortington · 25/03/2011 00:05

sounds good to me - it's what i've done in the past and its worked so far

no grandbabies yet whoo hoo

Minda · 26/03/2011 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

upahill · 28/03/2011 13:12

Brook might be a better place for a young person to go for free condoms.
They accept people up to the age of 25 and are informal but highly professional.

www.brook.org.uk/find-a-centre. A lot of towns have one.

Maybe going to a GP or the FPA can be a bit intimadating for teens no matter how cool they think they are!

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