Daughter thinks she is fat!! help!!!

[chinagirl41]

my daughter thinks she is fat and she is not she is a healthy size 12! we have just come home from clothes shopping and she is now very down and moody, i have tried to tell her she is not fat she is beautifull. She has been dieting and excercising recently and i dont want it to get out of control.... but i dont know what to say to her!!
she thinks her knees are big and that she has a fat tummy.
any advice greatly received.

:( Been there still there with my DD2 and it's miserable.

How tall is your daughter? Mine is only 5 ft 3 and a size 8-10 and thinks she is HUGE. Unfortunately she is in possession of the (inexplicably) biggest boobs which make her extremely top heavy and mean she can't get dresses to fit and tops strain.. and it has damaged her self image considerably.

My DD2 started dieting at 14.. at first I was quite pleased to see her eating more healthily but it gathered pace and became her challenge to see how few calories she could survive on.. she was down to 7 stone which while not incredibly underweight was way below her natural size. Then when she finally lost control she swung the other way and has since struggled to stay under 9 stone which has been equally damaging for her self esteem. Many of her friends are THIN, really bloody thin and she can't accept her own natural shape.

We actually sought help from CAHMS (eating disorders team there) but DD hated it and it made her feel worse. In the end I had to start exercising with her.. in a light hearted way, and it has helped a bit as it means I am not dismissing her concerns (ie she wants to be slimmer) but we are focussing on being healthier and fitter together. Hasn't done me any harm either :)

It IS possible to tone up without it being a diet-or-bust thing and I wish I had worked with my DD earlier rather than first dismissing her desire to be smaller because I think it was my 'oh you are fine' attitude that made her more determined to starve. Now we are both trying to be healthy together and it has helped..some..

However that's just something that has worked ..some.. for us...

How tall is she, and how old is she?

Thank you for your replies.

My daughter is 16 in July and she is 5ft 6in tall.
we also have started to exercise together, today before our clothes shopping we went on a 6 mile bike ride.
It is her frame of mind that I worry about and feel I need to say the right thing to her, I have just been to her and said that she is beautiful and is not fat and that she needs to see her self as that. I told her that she is not seeing herself as everyone else sees her and that she needs to be more confident in herself, we will carry on eating healthy and exercising.
I just wish that she could see herself for what she is.

Being a mum is hard at times!

ive a very slim DD 14 weighing 6.5 st 4ft3 who thinks her tummy is fat i have to keep an eye on her she eats very healthy watches her fat intake all good but shes beautiful DH is worried he says shes skinny , i know how you feel its a big worry ive found myself a couple times lately standing outside the loo making sure shes not making herself sick , Now I AM fat and short ive always had a weight prob since puberty ive lost it all more times than i can remember and i was anorexic in the 80s i got to 6 stone and still believed i was a great hulking lump i remember distintly looking in the mirror and still seeing the old me b4 the diet , your daughter sounds lovely its very hard being a parent , im wondering if my being fat is whats causing her to be so obsessed with healthy eating ? she wont eat anythin that has fat in at all she reads all the labels never ever eats between meals never eats chips hardly any meat no fizzy drinks no crisps or cakes or bickies hates sweets and even my beloved chocolate all you can do is keep talking telling her what you already are get without her noticing other people to mention how lovely shes looking to boost her confidnce, has someone at school said something esp if it was a boy 20 mates can tell her shes beautiful but if one lad says ooh you look like a fattie in pe kit she will be devastated even if it was just a joke iyswim

My 9 year old thinks she is fat and ugly and refuses to wear anything that clings to her or shows her shape