Possible new topic in mental health section....

[lazymumofteenagesons]

There have recently been a lot of threads in teenage topic dealing with mental health and addiction problems.
Anyone feel that a new topic in Health section covering child and adolescent mental health and addiction problems might be useful. If so how do we go about asking for this?

[noscat]

Thornykate that sounds really tough - what support do you currently get? I presume CAMHS are involved? I know years ago when my DD first started having problems I didn't feel that there was anyone I could talk to, and it's so hard to carry on with "normal" life when every day involves some sort of crisis. Vent away!

[thornykate]

Thank you both. It was suggested by a friend that I might need some counselling to deal with the situation but I think that getting things off your chest to a sympathetic ear (or a few ears!) is all I need. DP listens & so do good friends but I think it is hard for them especially DP as he can't actually 'do' anything to fix things, no-one can.

Ds is getting quite a lot of support/input from services at the moment, he is in a specialist teenage mental health unit for assessment although nothing seems any clearer diagnosis wise. Prior to this he was having Camhs & early intervention team as an outpatient as well as the odd school session with an education support worker. Now SS are involved as from last week to address where he is going after the unit. He is 16 in a few months so ideally he should be at home until supported accom becomes available but he is point blank refusing to come home & because of the threats he has made in front of the SW etc I doubt if they will let him anyway . I am terrified he will end up in a secure kids home due to the threats & previous violence. But when he was at home I was scared that he would hurt someone & even more disturbing was that he reported hearing voices telling him to kill himself & I later found out he spent 2 hours at the motorway bridge one evening wrestling with these voices. I can't get that out of my mind.

I suppose that after Tuesdays meeting there will be some sort of plan but I am very nervous about what lies ahead for him.

[thornykate]

Had to smile at "not my mum" maryz, mine has been unhelpful to say the least, I am glad that she visits DS but she does tend to go along with everything he says & minimises the things he does.

I so hear what you are saying re the guilt. TBH I have really been worrying that something will go wrong for one of my other kids too. Rationally I have no need to worry as they are happy & settled whereas DS1 has seemed troubled since the age of 4. But it does make me question my parenting a lot.

Ditto on the happiness too. Before he went in hosp I had learned to take a day at a time & on the occaisions where we had a good day; when DS would be seem happy & bright & would sit in the same room as us & maybe have a joke, I learned to cherish the moment but even then it would be with a heavy heart as I knew it never lasted long.

Years ago a psychic medium told me not to worry too much as my son was "exersizing his demons" & would eventually pass through his problems & be fine. That actually keeps me from losing all faith in this situation & I don't care if people think I am daft for believing that but it helps a bit!

Glad the counselling is helping MaryZ, & thanks for the advice re coping...I need to start back at the gym as I have missed a couple of weeks but it does help me de-stress. And I won't rule out counselling either.

[gingeroots]

God ,been reading this and it sure puts my worries about DS in perspective .
Hope you guys get good outcomes .....hugs to you all.( plus spare right arms ! )

[thornykate]

Thanks gingeroots :)

Maryz your daughter sounds like a thoughtful, caring girl. It is lovely to hear that you have the sort of relationship where you are close enough for her to express her worries to you. I hope she finds her place amongst her peers it seems she has a lot of insight into her situation.

Good news today is that DS will be out of hospital within a week, although he is refusing to come home (he is angry with me for telling his Dr about incidents at home which led to him being admitted alveit as a voluntary patient...basically I am the focus of all his anger at the moment) so it looks like he will be staying nearby at his uncles for now. I am Ok about this as I am glad for him to be coming out of hospital & staying within the family. Social services havent said he can't come home either which is good as at one point it was being suggested that he wouldn't be allowed home due to risk to me & younger DCs.

Think I am going to fall asleep easily tonight for the first time in ages. Hope everyone else is ok.

[gingeroots]

Glad for your bit of good news thornykate

[babytinkabell]

My 14 year old foster d was sectioned last week and is in a CAMHs unit. I hate her being in there but we just couldn't cope any more and ultimately the decision was taken from us after her 4th suicide attempt. Not sure how long she'll be there. We thought it would just be until tomorrow but it looks like it could be longer.
Had a visit yesterday. It went ok but she's so angry about being in there it's hard to have a conversation without it turning into an argument. She just shouts at you. She's giving the nurses a hard time today, won't do a thing for them.
I feel so guilty even though realistically I know its not my fault, she had issues long before she even came into care.

[noscat]

oh babytinkabell I am so sorry. 14 year old girls are often really difficult to cope with anyway, let alone with a mental health problem :( Hang on in there, it does get easier as they get older.... it might be better if she is in the unit for a little longer, will give you a break and at least you know she will be safe.

[babytinkabell]

Thanks noscat, knowing she is safe is just about the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. She rang me this evening and cried and cried on the phone saying she misses us. I know its the right place for her and me and my kids need a break from all the drama for a while but its heartbreaking. I actually miss her loads, I thought I'd be relieved when she was taken in but I think I actaully coped better with her being here than I am at the moment. Early days though so hopefully it'll get easier.

[Thornykate]

I hope things are going ok for your family today babytink I find it best to deal with one day at a time. You must be feeling a bit relieved that she is safer there and it's true that a break from the pressure can benefit all of you. It must be sad to hear her cry but at least she is expressing the emotions if that makes sense.

My DS came out of hosp this weekend & is staying with family, still doesn't want anything to do with me & TBH I am keeping my distance as I know better than to try force the issue. Family members have noticed that he seems to have gone a bit downhill over past few days, just little things like he was apparently standing staring at the burglar alarm for ages & another day he couldn't concentrate on the computer game & got confused by what to do which is odd as he loves the game. He is on low dose anti psychotics but we are wondering if he is still taking them. School are still having problems with him but this seems to be behavioural issues again.

Am dreading DP working away again at end of this week.


Hope everyone else is having a peaceful week.

[Thornykate]

Just wondering how people are doing? How is your foster daughter doing babytinkabell is she responding ok to being in hospital? Hope so.

Am quite worried about DS, still haven't seen him but he has only managed to attend school 2 days this week & there have been incidents on both days. Of more concern are the snippets I am hearing from the family members who he is staying with. It sounds like his concentration is worse than ever, even visitors to the house have commented that he doesn't seem 'right'. Apparantly he spends hours sitting in front of the TV just flicking through the channels & seems very pre occupied.

Am trying to look on the bright side as at least there are no young kids there to get on his nerves or cause confrontation so am hoping that at least he wont flare up there.

Think it is affecting my own patterns of thinking as I am starting to be fearful of looking on the bright side, as if I am tempting fate.

Am finding it hard to think about much else & I do feel guilty for feeling any bit of happiness about anything. The only way I can justify any feelings of happiness are because I have other kids & a partner that need me too & I don't want to deprive them of a happy home despite what is going on with DS. Baby is due in 2 months & although I am not worried about bonding as such (I do feel so much love for baby already) I feel like I cannot look forward to babys arrival as I normally would because my 1st born is so much in need. I now rarely post on the antenatal thread as I felt unable to get excited about pushchairs etc at the moment. I suppose I feel guilty about everything really...welcome to motherhood eh!

Does anyone else feel like they are putting on a front to the rest of the world?

sorry for the moaning post think it's just been a bad day for me & I need to take my own advice & stop worrying so much about what the future may hold for him & try & deal with one day at a time.

[Thornykate]

Well done & thanks lazymumofteenagers I have just seen new topic :)
here

Much appreciated x

[Imustbenuts]

I am now worrying about my 18 year old son. He is a lovely, quiet, thoughtful young man who doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs and is in a steady relationship with his girlfriend. We generally have a close and open relationship and he talks to me about his problems. He is worrying whether he is normal as in his dreams he has cannibalistic urges, and has said that sometimes when making love to his gf he wants to bite into her neck, not just a love bite, and that one of the reasons he doesn't do drugs/drink is because he is afraid of losing control and doesn't know which is the real him. Help!