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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Please help me get a proper prospective

3 replies

hesterprynne · 09/03/2011 12:57

DD2 is 15 in a few weeks.

From quite young, 5/6, she has been on the 'troubled' end of the spectrum. She has just been discharged from her CAHM psychiatrist after a couple of bouts of self-harming, mainly I think because although quite chatty with him, she refused to discuss the incidents, at all. So not much he could do really.

Anyway, after an apparently settled time, when she seemed to have had her longest period of being the happy, great company child she can be, she has again become moody and withdrawn. I suspect some friend trouble, but she refuses point blanks to discuss it, or even give any hints. So, I'm really worried that she will revert to old coping methods.

This morning I discovered someone has taken over £5 in loose change from a box I keep for emergency bus fares, etc. I know how much was there, cos I only put it in first thing this morning. She has denied taking it. DD1 has left her purse with money in it, so she obviously had no need.

I know it's not a lot of money, and wonder if a debt at school has turned nasty, but I am so angry. Why couldn't she just ask? She knows money is tight, but we very rarely deny her cash.

We have bent over backwards to keep her happy, I have had to fight my natural inclination to be naggy and invasive in her latest withdrawn state, and now just don't know what to do.

If she continues to deny it, should I tell her I don't believe her and ground her anyway. She has a gig coming up this Monday, which was a Christmas present, I am so close to saying she can't go, if she keeps lying, but can't help feeling that might be an overreaction to a missing £5.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Maryz · 09/03/2011 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hesterprynne · 09/03/2011 14:17

Thanks MaryZ.

It is a mix of the last straw, and 'oh not again' and I'm really scared of pushing her back into self-harming.

I just know she won't talk to me about it. She will deny, deny, deny, stand and stare into the middle distance and then just walk off.

I could try to get her back to CAHMs, her psych did say he would direct refer if she self-harm in the eight weeks after he discharged her, but as yet, I don't think she has done.

It's just so difficult to separate out what is 'normal' teenage stuff and what is her spiralling down again. I don't want to jump to quickly, but what if I leave it too late?

OP posts:
Maryz · 09/03/2011 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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